After Everything
by Foxy'sGirl
Summary: Berk is going through big changes in the wake of the events of the second movie. Mostly Astrid based, rated for light language.
1. Boring

**Lots and lots of HTTYD2 spoilers, alright? Proceed at your own risk.**

**Talking about risks, I just want to warn any new readers that this is an unabashed writing exercise. I'm having fun with an UNRELIABLE narrator, and I thought some people might want to read it. I also like posting as I write sometimes, so this is for fun, I'm just practicing, although I promise I know where it's going and how I'm getting there. **

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Astrid sits alone near the end of one of the long bench tables in the hall with the wall to her left and the whole room in front of her. She takes a long, slow sip out of her tankard of ale and smacks her lips, sigh fully contained in her personal bubble of silence. There's a family at the other end of her table, two children well behaved above their dinner and it almost feels respectful to be quiet. She likes feeling respectful.

Everyone else around her is chatting, tired but animated after a long day of building and rebuilding. There's a baby crying somewhere unseen, weaker wails drowned out by booming laughs of men a few drinks ahead of her. Tonight might be one of those nights that she eventually catches up.

The hall looks the same as it did before…_everything_, but feels different, at least to Astrid. There's a crucial hole, an unfilled seat or two weighing on her like they really shouldn't. She'd be tempted to go invite Gobber to fill one of them, if it wouldn't make the absence painfully more obvious. So many nights over the last couple of years she found herself here, too antsy to sleep because Hiccup wasn't back yet and Stormfly couldn't quite pick up his trail after she scrambled through her chores. At first, it was all the twins' antics and the final brush-off of Snotlout, but eventually she found herself next to the chief, waved forward and in by a welcoming hand the size of her head.

And it turned out that they had a lot to talk about. Axes and how even the best blacksmiths sometimes can't get the edge quite right. Gobber and how he can't accept criticism. Hiccup and how he's always out, headstrong and wilier than either of them gave him credit for back when he was a scrawny kid.

Hiccup and how they'd really prefer it if he kept his ass _on_ the dragon a little more.

Hiccup and how he can lead an academy full of misfits but as soon as leadership is mentioned, he clams up and gets quiet.

Hiccup.

Of course it wasn't all Hiccup, eventually a greater friendship grew out of those first few conversations that transcended tentative girlfriend and future father-in-law. Then it was 'Stoick' instead of 'Chief' and they were teasing Hoark and betting Spitelout wagers he'd never win. On the nights when Hiccup came looking for her he'd always be embarrassed, asking her ten times what his dad said to her as soon as they got somewhere halfway private.

As if anything could change her opinion of him.

She smiles to herself and shakes her head, taking another sip of ale and staring at the bubbles clinging to the inner wooden sides of her tankard. Now she's wishing she took the opportunity to ask for more stories about Hiccup as a child, so many are probably lost now.

Then again, there is Gobber, and she can go ask him tomorrow. Surely he has a few she hasn't heard, told from the other side of those first few weeks of Hiccup's apprentice ship where he came home sore and sarcastic and his father carried him to bed.

The door creaks open and for some indiscernible reason, she glances to see who it is, despite the fact that she ignored the sound the last twenty times it happened. It's Eret, nearly strutting into the room with broad shoulders back, searching the unfamiliar crowd for something with eyes not quite as brash as the rest of him.

She looks away before he sees her, staring into her mug and searching for her long lost train of thought.

Three gulps of ale and two thoughts about a refill later, the table shakes like a gronckle tail-thwacked the bench and Astrid jolts, looking to see Ruffnut sitting across from her. She has two frothy mugs in hand and she slides one towards Astrid, fidgeting with her helmet and shaking the whole table again.

"Thanks," Astrid taps her fresh beverage and finishes the old one with a gulp, wondering what exactly the catch is in this situation. Ruffnut doesn't bring people drinks, she's spent the last few months not so graciously allowing Snotlout and Fishlegs argue over bringing them to her. "So…what's up?"

"You just looked boring," Ruffnut shrugs, leaning her elbows on the table and weaving her hands together.

"I'm not bored, I'm just thinking."

"I said you looked _boring_," Ruffnut takes a gulp of her own ale. "So I thought I'd come get you drunk."

"What?" Astrid snorts, "Snotlout _and_ Fishlegs not enough entertainment for you?"

"Meatlug is sick or something. She looked fine to me but Fishlegs took her home," the girl twin grimaces at her cup, swirling it around. "And Snotlout is _really_ annoying without the buffer."

"Maybe that should tell you something," Astrid suggests, drinking almost obediently so that the comment doesn't turn this pleasant so far conversation into an argument.

As they got older, Astrid and Ruffnut grew into friends in an untraditional capacity that they both find almost too agreeable, chatting half of the time and sparring the rest. Especially as things with Hiccup got more serious, their conversations often predictably turned to the oddities of the opposite sex. Astrid enjoys having someone to confide in about such _soft_ issues, no matter how under-valued her opinion frequently seems to be.

But often, fighting eclipses the talking nearly entirely.

Astrid doesn't feel like fighting.

"Two is always better than one, Astrid." Ruffnut winces beneath the words, like she might be coming to the same conclusion about Fishlegs.

Astrid hopes so, at least.

"Last month you were wishing you were an only child."

"Fishlegs is an only child," Ruffnut speaks a little too quickly and Astrid nods like she doesn't notice.

"Does Snotlout have any siblings?" She asks leadingly, wiggling an alcohol lubricated eyebrow.

"He talks about himself too much for me to figure that out." The table shudders as Ruffnut lurches again, and the family shoots a dirty look in their direction, holding onto their shaken plates. Ruffnut's responding glare could spark fires. "Why are you here all alone anyway?"

"Stormfly was tired, I'm not yet," Astrid simplifies the issue, finding absolutely no reason to explain any further.

"Ah, all the building is exhausting Barf and Belch too. They don't even want to tip yaks."

"Good, maybe the yaks can get a break." Astrid dodges Ruffnut's fisted response, laughing as the other girl sloshes ale onto the table. The family gets up to leave.

"Seriously though, I was sure Hiccup was going to show up at any minute and swoop my seat."

"Nah, just me tonight."

"Do you know where he is? I have all sorts of chief-y questions to ask him."

"I'm not his mother—" Astrid snaps because the question rubs something buried and sensitive wrong her in chest. Her retort doesn't help anything and she takes a deep gulp of ale, slamming it a little too hard back onto the table. "I'm sure he's busy. Do these chief-y questions involve asking him if you can tip yaks now without getting yelled at? Because that's still no."

"_Someone_ hasn't had enough alone time with Hiccup lately."

"What do you mean by that?" Astrid scowls at the table, because the only thing worse than Ruffnut being wrong is Ruffnut being _right_. "He's chief. He's busy."

"You're just really sensitive tonight. Oh, and probably hor—"

"Don't finish that sentence."

"You're no fun," Ruffnut looks around the room for some better form of entertainment and stops with a wolfish grin, nudging Astrid's shin under the table. "Let's go sit with Eret."

"Why?" Astrid's braid whips over her shoulder as she follows Ruffnut's gaze, spying Eret perched on a stool at the far end of the small table covered in wooden barrels of ale.

He's got his own bubble of silence and Astrid stares back at her hands, worrying over a rough snag in her thumbnail.

"Because it'd be fun."

"It's not my idea of fun to watch you grab some guy's arm."

"It's not _some guy_, it's Eret!" Ruffnut says his name too loudly and Astrid glances furtively over her shoulder, trying to tell if he heard her. He doesn't look their way and she tries to relax. Her shoulders hunched up around her ears at some point, like they're trying to engulf her head and give her a place to hide.

"Yeah, it's Eret. That guy you met three days ago," Astrid rolls her eyes and glances his way again, eyes catching on the strange slump in his spine before fluttering halfway to his exposed upper arm and dipping back to the floor. "I think that means he still qualifies as 'some guy'."

"He rebuilt half my house…he touched the shingles," Ruffnut nearly swoons, grinning in his direction and grabbing Astrid's wrists. "Come on, let's go."

"I don't want to."

"I've seen you looking," and it doesn't really come across as an accusation, even though that's how it's meant. Astrid looks sheepishly at the table.

"Everyone has been looking. I think I saw my mom ogling him," she pushes her bangs away from her eyes, but it's futile and they fall back down to obscure her forehead, shadowing some of the glare from the torchlight. "He's new. No one has been new in Berk since—"

"Hiccup's growth spurt," Ruffnut fills in the end of the statement, sighing again and staring like she doesn't care if Eret catches her.

"Stop staring, he's going to look over here."

"Maybe he'll come over here."

"What about Fishlegs?"

"I'm looking, there's nothing wrong with looking. Even _your mom_ is looking," Ruffnut shrugs. "Plus, it's kind of exciting that he's new, you know? Everyone else on this island remembers us as little girls, but to him we're always going to be grown, consenting adults—"

"Seriously!" Astrid snaps, slapping her palm against the table top too loudly and drawing the attention of everyone in the immediate area. Eret glances over briefly, eyes hovering like hot pokers against the side of her face for a moment before turning back to his quiet corner of the island. "What is your problem? We have actual jobs to be doing, you know? Half the village is kindling and winter is only a few months away while we still have damned glaciers—"

"Oh, fun. The Mrs. Duty spiel." Ruffnut cuts Astrid off and purses her lips, the puckered expression lengthening her already oval face. "Where's Mr. Duty?"

"Ruffnut—"

"Let's just go talk to him. He looks _boring_ too."

"Maybe he's just thinking," Astrid defends and regrets it immediately because her mind flails trying to put together what he might be thinking about. "He's been working too, maybe he's just tired and he wants to have a drink."

"Well, that's what we're doing. Why can't we go over there?"

"For one, he's an arrogant idiot." Astrid nearly hisses the revelation, straddling the line between truth and exaggeration that feels awkwardly protective, ineffective cover. "And I don't _want_ to talk to him. It feels weird that he's here on Berk and that he drops by every morning with fish for Stormfly and—"

"He goes by your house in the morning?" Ruffnut leans in closer, like she's waiting for the good part and Astrid's scowl deepens.

"He likes Stormfly, and she likes him."

"Does he ever see you?"

"I wave," Astrid grits her teeth and shrugs, because this all sounds like nothing when she talks about it but it's felt like lead weights in her guts for days. It's nothing and she ended up paranoid, somewhere random along the way. Her warrior senses must be dulling and she hates it, she's going to go train first thing tomorrow, before work. Hiccup will understand.

If he notices that she's late.

"I'm sleeping over," Ruffnut declares and Astrid rolls her eyes so hard it hurts.

"No, you're not. I have to be up early."

"Can you let loose for once?" Ruffnut is too loud and Eret glances over again. He must be listening to them to notice their relatively muted noise over the crowd and it makes Astrid feel heavy, far too heavy for two pints of pale summer ale.

"I'm pretty drunk," Astrid lies, pushing back from the bench and standing, glancing over her shoulder for a clear shot through the crowd to the door. It's too obvious if she follows the wall, tripping over outstretched drunken feet and discarded tankards and she's stuck splitting the room straight down the middle, walking past all those kegs and the man she can _feel_ listening her.

She's paranoid, but after _everything_, probably Stoick wouldn't blame her. Berk needs someone like that around, doesn't it?

She chugs the dregs of her ale and sets the mug back down. Ruffnut pouts.

"You really are no fun."

"Come over for dinner tomorrow? Maybe you can stay over, just tell my mom again how your brother is being intolerable." Astrid offers as a consolation prize, strange, out of place shivers shooting up her spine. This is overreacting. This is stupid. This feels like a consequence for a crime she doesn't remember but regrets deeply.

"And see the mythical morning wave? Hel yes," Ruffnut sits back against the wall and stares out at the room like she's looking for something. If Astrid were even remotely confident in her internal compass at the moment she'd advise her friend to cut the crap and go check on _Meatlug_. It feels presumptive and she holds her tongue.

She wants to hit something.

The woodpile is looking a bit scarce anyway.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Astrid shakes her head at her friend and steps away from the table, feet heavy and too clingy against the dirt floor as she shuffles towards the door, eyes fixed pointedly on the hinges even as the back of her neck heats up and she can practically feel the thin dust clouds of her footsteps settling across the toes of his boots.

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**I'm thinking about making a drabble series or something out of this. Because I like it a little too much, and it feels good to post off the cuff, and I like the idea of something that only needs updating when I'm inspired. **

**I'd love to hear what you all think! **


	2. Encouraged

**This is too much fun. I'm sorry, but it's all just too much fun. **

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Astrid is exhausted, hips too sore from eight long hours in the saddle, directing crews as they held up new house scaffolding as it was anchored into place. Stormfly is dragging behind her a bit, scoffing big claws against the dirt and looking hopefully at a new group of bright Nadders sharing a perch in the evening's last sun.

"Come on, girl," she urges, patting her thigh and walking a little slower. "Let's get some fish in you, and then you can go socialize." The Nadder cocks her huge head hopefully. "No, no chicken tonight. We have a lot more mouths to feed, I'm stuck with fish too. Come on." The dragon sighs and follows, head bobbing a little faster as she approaches the feeder and tucks into a pile of salmon.

Most of the dragons have already eaten, because most were done an hour ago, but she stayed on through erecting one final house. All but two of the other feeders are empty, one occupied by a small gronckle with purple knobs on its legs and the other flanked by Skullcrusher's familiar silhouette next to Eret's still strange shadow. Astrid strokes Stormfly's flank behind her girth and watches for a moment, frowning when she recognizes the stubborn dragon refusing a fish. A hand fed fish.

She looks away, stomach clenching uncomfortably for a second at the sight. She can hear him now, pleading softly to the big beast in that strange, slow accent, and after a moment she caves, grabbing a slimy cod from the feeder and walking over.

"…big guy, you must be hungry, flying all day like this," Eret, the world's greatest dragon trapper, nudges a juicy salmon towards Skullcrusher's snout, only to have the dragon gruffly butt it away.

"Hey," Astrid doesn't quite make eye contact with Eret, instead patting the dragon's shoulder and showing him the cod. The beast easts it happily and butts his head against her chest in greeting. She strokes the particularly smooth column of scales behind his horn and fineally meets Eret's put out gaze. "He's not a fan of salmon, more of a cod guy."

If it were Hiccup, she'd commit to the cheesy _Haddock_ guy joke.

"So you are a picky one," the man rests a large hand against the other side of the dragon's jaw, tossing the salmon easily over to the eager gronckle. "All the other dragons had a feeding frenzy, but he wouldn't come any closer than the hill." Eret points towards a newly hewn ridge still banked with a shrinking glacier.

"He's like that," Astrid nods and takes a step back to scratch that sweet spot underneath the dragon's shoulder.

"Stuck up?" Eret teases and Skullcrusher looks at Astrid for assistance, almost uncharacteristically patient with his new rider.

"Regal," she corrects, loosening the saddle's girth with a measured tug and barely swallowing a happy flashback at the dragon's sigh. It reminds her of early evenings sparring with Stoick in the field behind his lodge, waiting for night fury wings to appear over the tree line. "He's a chief's dragon and he holds himself like one."

Skullcrusher is satisfied with that assessment and pushes against Astrid's chest, searching for another cod.

"There's more—gah," she stumbles back as the dragon gets a little frustrated, hanging onto his head for support. "There's more cod over there, I don't know why this feeder is all salmon."

"Those greedy nightmares, probably," Eret suggests with a grumble that sounds eerily like everyone else on the island, always whining about Hookfang's cohort bullying the others with flames. He pats Skullcrusher's head and the dragon closes his eyes, leaning into the touch, already so familiar. Astrid guesses there's no better introduction than a long week's work together and she brushes off the jealousy that tries to bloom in the face of the pair's quick bond.

Skullcrusher beats Stormfly with a fond grumble and sidles up a few feet away, nearly sandwiching the riders between them as he starts to pick cod out, excited and eating quickly enough to make up for the pause. "Anything else I should know about the brute, then?"

"He likes to sleep outside," Astrid offers, "he always used to sleep on the chief's roof."

"Yeah, he's been sneaking out there at night, I think. He's never with me in the morning."

Astrid wants to ask him where he's been staying, but it's overstepping and strange, and all she can think of is early morning waving. Somehow it would feel wrong if she knew where he's sleeping, and like a job that's not quite hers to ask him if he's comfortable.

"I'll let you know if I see him later, I'm heading up there after Stormfly stops eating." She nudges the Nadder's shoulder, a little urgent. She counts back the days and tries to remember the last time she was at Hiccup's house and sticks on the night after the battle, a quiet moment of lonely together in a sea of work. She should get up there. He must be starving. "I'm sure Hiccup doesn't mind though, it'd be nice to have the big guy around."

The statement is stale. She wonders how Hiccup is really doing as chief, beyond tired nods and smiles, and wishes he'd take a chance to talk to her about it.

"So, you knew the chief well?" Eret asks, fiddling with the saddle that must be too big.

"Well enough," and Astrid's shrug is a little too stoic. The comparison makes her smile, just a bit. "We were sparring partners, occasionally. I helped him with Skullcrusher too, when Hiccup was too busy." It feels like minimizing their strange relationship that sometimes felt like one soul struggling to understand Hiccup stretched across two willing bodies. No one else seemed to get it, why they started laughing at his jokes and accepting his overnights away with Toothless.

She said she'd bring Hiccup dinner, she should get back to that, it's getting late. And all of Hiccup's hurried, passing accounts point to his mother's cooking being as bad as Gobber warned.

After Stormfly is done.

"You were Stoick the Vast's sparring partner?" Eret sounds genuinely impressed under a teasing lilt as he looks at her with something like appraisal. "That axe isn't just for show, then." He reaches up and runs his thumb across the blade that's tucked above her shoulder and her face is too close to the bicep Ruff hasn't shut up in about. It's…she doesn't look, not really, stepping back against Stormfly's flank with an almost violent shrug that smacks against her pauldrons with a clang.

"No," she shakes her head and turns to fiddle with Stormfly's saddle, almost obsessively plucking work-pilled balls of leather from the strap. "Don't know if it's going to see much action anymore either, a good sparring partner is hard to find." He says nothing, and it feels like she's rambling. She never rambles. She cares that she's rambling.

She thinks about him sitting all alone in the mead hall, and how familiar she is with the sensation.

Her stomach growls.

Dinner. Hiccup. Hiccup and she need Dinner.

"I don't believe that no one else around here wants to fight," and his voice is a little further away, obvious exhaustion leaking through those long, strange vowels.

"It's not that," Stormfly looks back at Astrid, sensing some escape reflex that doesn't make sense in the situation. Astrid swings on with a practiced leap and shifts to get comfortable in the well-worn saddle, rivets by her thighs still buzzing, like always, with the promise left behind by Hiccup's touch. It's better up here higher and closer to the roasted fish smoke wafting from the hall up the hill. "It's that most people around here really don't like to lose."

"Oh, it's like that, is it?" Eret laughs, looking a little younger with mirth lifted eyebrows, and Astrid wonders why the Hel she cares how old he looks. She doesn't. "Well, I'm a sword-man myself, if you're ever interested in losing."

Her mouth falls open, aghast and momentarily vulnerable, and she slams it shut mid-scoff, fumbling across half-formed challenges and something else that sits on the tip of her tongue, unfamiliar and heavy. He laughs again, like he's making up for far too many serious years, like she used to laugh with Hiccup in the forge on those first few long winter afternoons together.

Hiccup.

"You're so on."

"Eager to lose?"

"You're going to regret saying that," she scoffs. "Absolutely."

"I'll hold you to that," he points at her, all thick fingers at the end of long, beefy arms. She thinks how predictable he'll probably be in a fight, a younger, rougher Stoick without all the respect for others' might. Before she can snuff it out, some small part in the back of her head wonders what it'd feel like to _lose_—

"Yeah, I'll make sure you don't forget." She shakes her head in friendly warning and nudges Stormfly with her heel. "Good luck with him." Skullcrusher snorts a happy farewell and she can't help but smile.

"I know who to ask now, if I have any more questions."

"Yeah, Hiccup. He'd be happy to help."

"I'm sure you'll relay the message." And his smile seems deeper than she'd really like to look.

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"Hey," Astrid greets, pushing into the chief's lodge with a sack of warm bread and a wide clay bowl of hot stew covered in a cloth. "Sorry I'm so late, Skullcrusher was showing his picky side and I stopped to help."

"Salmon vs. Cod again?" Hiccup asks, chewing on the end of his wooden drawing tool and pouring over what she instantly recognizes as the map spread on the table in front of him.

"Yep," She sets the food down, folding one corner of the map away from it to avoid damage and walking around the table to rest her chin on the top of his head.

"Thanks for helping out with Skullcrusher, I keep meaning to…" he trails off and her hands find their way around his chest and she jokingly searches his woolen tunic for her favorite button.

"It's no problem," she kisses the top of his head and gives up her quest with a disappointed pat on his ribs. "Damn, no suit today."

"Nope, no suit today," he sighs, head heavy against her chest as he leans back into the strange half-hug, hair smelling oddly of yesterday's soap, rather than trees and soot.

"You've got to be starving." She thinks about moving to get his dinner, but it really does feel nice where she is, his arms wrapping around hers, so warm through the thin tunic she hardly ever sees anymore.

"Yeah, I really am. Thanks for grabbing dinner." And he leans away from her, hunching back over the map and shading an already drawn mountain with small, pensive strokes.

"Not a problem," she ruffles his hair and walks to the cupboard near the hearth to retrieve two large bowls and a spoon to dish up the stew. He's not looking at her, enthralled with the map and whatever happened today that he's not quite ready to talk about yet and she ignores his sullen expression, assuming he'll brighten up with some food in him.

Chief fits Hiccup well, it really does, and everyone sees it but him. But she's starting to worry that it's not a mutual affection.

"So where's your mom?" She brought enough for three, just in case, but the house seems quiet.

"She went back to the sanctuary for a day to make sure no dragons went back to the hive in all the panic." He tells her almost listlessly, doodling in the ocean of the map, long swooping waves for calm seas with short, jagged strokes around rocky shores.

"There should be leftovers when she gets back, if we aren't too hungry," she hands him his bowl and sits down next to him on the bench. He scoots a few inches away from her and looks up, frown frozen on heavy eyebrows.

"You're eating here?"

"If you don't mind," the bowl is suddenly a bit too heavy and she leans it against the edge of the table.

"I figured you'd eat at the hall."

"I was already running late, I didn't want to push your dinner any later."

"Oh. Ok," he shrugs listlessly and starts slowly spooning stew into his mouth while his left hand still scrawls over the map, focusing around Berk and filling in details in the water, drawing distinctive dragons flying through the surf.

The map is a relatively new development, brought on by Hiccup's fascination with finding more night furies and driven forward by an interest in the unknown that she guesses he's always had. He was always the boy getting in trouble for exploring the strange falling building in the wake of a dragon attack, never one to stay put or stay still. She thumbs a corner of it carefully, recognizing her slightly darker line next to his sketchy outline of some distant ridge.

"You know, the map only has to wait a bit. Once everything is settled there will be _some_ time."

"I know," he sighs and taps his writing stick against the page, biting his lip and sitting up straight with an almost irritated sigh.

"I'm sure there will still be time for exploring, seriously," she assures, placing her hand on his knee momentarily and squeezing. "Your dad used to go to Helheim's gate all the time, once things slow down I'm sure the village could spare you for a few days."

"But when my dad was chief, everything stayed together because of him, because everyone knew he'd be coming back," Hiccup taps the edge of the coal tip on the map, leaving a small smudge in the middle of the ocean that he carefully blends to nothing with a pensive fingertip.

"And you're your father's son. Everyone will get their confidence back, you'll see." She takes another bite of stew and points to one edge of the map. "And then you can come out here," and the bottom edge of the map, nearest his front. "And here—" Her knuckles graze across his stomach and he glares at her briefly before looking a bit apologetic.

"I get that you're trying to cheer me up, but I could just…do with being a little less cheery right now, you know?" She sighs and nods sympathetically, eating a little more quickly and giving the silence time to sink into the air around them. Toothless is snoring upstairs, he's been a little down and slow ever since the battle, and Hiccup is assuming it takes a lot more energy to glow blue like that than they ever would have suspected. "I don't want to ruin your night though."

"You're not ruining my night," she insists, standing and placing her bowl by the bottom of the stairs, knowing that Toothless likes to lick out the stoneware in the morning. She cuts herself a slice of bread and offers one to Hiccup. He takes it listlessly, brushing a smattering of crumbs away from the map. Astrid watches the coal writing smear ever so slightly, especially where it's fresh and cocks her head, chewing thoughtfully on the crust in her hand. "I wonder, what if there was some way to seal the map, like oil skin or something. Maybe it wouldn't smear so badly."

"I'm sure I'll have time to figure that out someday," he grumbles towards the table, a little wistful and a little cranky. Maybe his mother will have better luck with him later, she's noticed, much to her chagrin, that the older woman seems to be able to talk sense into Hiccup like no one else. "I—Thanks for dinner, but I think I need to be alone for a while." He comments quietly, looking up at her in that hopeful way that used to mean 'come closer.'

"Yeah, I understand," she swallows some misplaced guilt and smoothes out the corner of the map that she'd folded to make room for the soup, brushing against her own confident line in the picture. "Will I see you tomorrow morning? For breakfast? My mom just made a bunch of jam, she said you're welcome…"

"Probably not," he smiles apologetically with one corner of his mouth while the rest of it remains stoic. Comfortingly so.

"Ok, but do you want me to bring you some?"

"Maybe tomorrow," he nods, and she can't help but think that he already looks years older, the last week showing in new bags under his eyes, worried patterns tracing through summer deep freckles.

"I'll see you soon, Hiccup," she says goodbye with a kiss on his cheek, squeezing his shoulders for good measure before finding her way out of the front door, hoping that he follows Toothless's lead and gets some sleep.

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**And we see Hiccup, stressed, exhausted Hiccup. The plot(ish) thickens. **

**I appreciate any reviews or suggestions you feel like leaving, this isn't anywhere near planned out! **


	3. Asked

**So this thing is turning out to have ever so slightly much more plot than I'd imagined. But it's still too much fun. **

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"Higher!" Astrid calls out, voice sore against the chilling wind rushing around her ears. She needs to talk to Hiccup about devising some system of horns or something, because this is insane, and they've still got three dragon stables planned ahead of the houses they're reconstructing. Stormfly grunts a bit, readjusting her clawed feet on her half of the log and Astrid clears her throat, feeling a bit more urgent. "Eret, you need to bring it higher."

Skullcrusher grumbles indignantly when Eret nudges him upwards and Stormfly's claws slip again on the log. It takes some pleading that Astrid can barely hear over the wind, but Eret finally succeeds in convincing the stubborn dragon even with Stormfly, and they heft the log into its notches in the construction. Stormfly lets go with an indignant squawk and looks back over her shoulder at Astrid, apparently discontent with her partner. Astrid nudges the dragon to land, swinging off and scratching the sensitive spot on her neck to placate her.

Astrid can see Eret doing the same out of the corner of her eye, looking a little lost for a moment before jumping to help a few older men with moving scrap wood into a cart and she forces her eyes back to Stormfly.

"I know, girl." The dragon nudges her shoulder, plainly suggesting that she go talk Eret, and Astrid pushes back on the Nadder's head, brushing some sawdust from the dragon's beak. "They're just getting used to it, give them some time alright? You know Skullcrusher doesn't listen like you do."

Stormfly snorts, obviously unimpressed with the reasoning.

"Hey, why don't you talk to Skullcrusher? You're his friend, why do I have to do it?" The dragon cocks her head and nudges Astrid's shoulder again. "No, I'm not _scared_, I just don't want to go make some _issue_—" Another firm jab from the Nadder, more of a head butt than anything. "Fine. But no chicken tonight," Astrid shakes her head at her own stubborn dragon before turning and striding towards Eret and the other men.

Her confident walk slows to something like a stroll about halfway there and she pauses to examine the siding on the newly rebuilt house, admiring the bright paint that only extends halfway up the building at the moment. Stormfly squawks and she glares at the Nadder over her shoulder before walking the rest of the way.

She pauses a few feet behind him, ducking a pine branch whirls at her head and clearing her throat. He doesn't hear her, of course, because she's not being nearly loud enough and this is ridiculous.

"Hey," she starts, faltering a bit on the ending sound and stepping backwards as he turns around to face her. There's a wad of pine sap on his vest.

"Yeah?"

"So you and Skullcrusher," the dragon grunts behind them and she looks back in polite acknowledgement. When she faces back forward, he's leaning against the house, one arm extended as his hand anchors against the new upright and she can't help but notice it. "Uh—You and Skullcrusher! How are you doing? He didn't seem to be listening too well there." She corrects the misstep, cursing herself and whatever wadded in her throat that's making it hard to get the words out.

"He's a chief's dragon, like you said," Eret laughs, and she almost misses that he looks a bit embarrassed through the way that extended arm _reacts_ to his words. "I think we're doing alright."

"The chief didn't like you very much," Astrid blurts before she can stop herself. "I wonder if Skullcrusher remembers that."

"He very well might."

"So…you guys should work on that," she continues, wracking her brain for why she came over here and coughing to disguise the long period of silence. It can't be comfortable, leaning like that, all extended. He's going to get a sunburn. She doesn't care, but it's going to be Hel working with a partner with sunburn. "Right, you're making Stormfly do all the work."

"I am?"

"Yeah, and she's not the burly one. Ideally, Skullcrusher should be doing most of the lifting and Stormfly should guide it into place." She repeats the technique that Fishlegs explained that morning to the various teams with dragons of different sizes. He doesn't say anything right away and the silence drags on, and shouldn't his arm seriously be cramping by now or something? He's going to need longer sleeves for winter, no matter how disappointed Ruffnut will be.

All the women will be disappointed, honestly, even now, there's a gaggle of this year's would be dragon training recruits whispering in each other's ears, and Astrid suppresses a strange urge to glare at them. Eret is working, he's _busy_. He's not just standing around to be gawked at—

"—should be flying above you, then?"

"Hmm?"

"I should be flying above you." He repeats, and that cocky smirk lands on his face so suddenly she can't quite remember how much she wants to slap it off before he starts talking again. "I figured you'd never have that."

"You can be above me when it's necessary," Astrid snaps, crossing her arms and cocking a hip out of habit. It makes her feel stable, more prepared to duck to the side if necessary and she relaxes slightly, tossing her bangs out of her eyes.

"I'll work with him," Eret shrugs, pushing himself up off of the house and letting that _arm_ hang slack at his side. Seriously. Sleeves, he really should prioritize the sleeves. "But what I really want to know is when are we going to spar?"

"Spar?" The sleeves are suddenly mysteriously more important.

"Oh, so now you're afraid?" He grins, "I thought it might have been all talk about sparring Stoick the Vast—"

"Oh, I was thinking you were talking about actually sparring with someone. But yeah, I could use a new doormat," she laughs at his fallen expression. "Now who's scared?"

"Tomorrow then. I can feel myself getting rusty."

"Right, and that's just setting up your excuse for when you lose," Astrid scoffs, half searching for an excuse, for something else she has to do, and comes up absolutely empty. "Tomorrow."

Astrid says goodbye after that, her wrist feeling floppy and strange at the end of her arm in an awkward wave that doesn't seem to bode well for any sort of sparring tomorrow. As much as she doesn't want to admit it, she's out of practice as well, and she vows to go practice by herself for a bit, now that she's done with work for the day.

Sparring will feel good, won't it? It really has been too long, and she and Stoick never got as many chances as they would have liked, it was so constantly interrupted with crises and duties. But she did learn a lot from him, especially in those first few afternoons, when she was still sixteen and just starting to get gangly herself, and he brought his old axe out of the attic.

She finds herself landing in front of Hiccup's lodge before it's really a decision and Stormfly looks around for Toothless, head bobbing excitedly. The Night Fury bounds over the roof a moment later and Astrid barely has time to bail off of Stormfly's back before the two dragons are bounding into the nearby fringe of the forest and making up for lost playtime. At least Hiccup is probably home, and she steps up to knock on the door, wondering if she's intruding.

That's definitely a new feeling, it's always been either welcome or unanswered, either Hiccup was here and happy to see her or out and she'd check back later with no hard feelings. She realizes that this might be the first time he'll turn her away. There's a clatter inside, the sound of a heavy wooden chair sliding over the ground and someone dropping something followed by the familiar sound of Hiccup swearing not quite under his breath. The door opens a minute later and she gets a flash of his frustrated expression before he says something not quite intelligible back into the space and steps through the narrowest gap possible, shutting the door behind him.

"What's up?" He doesn't quite snap, it's more tired than that and she falters on the decision whether to rest her hand on his shoulder or not. She's saved from the imminent decision when he sighs heavily and leans his forehead against hers, shutting his eyes and puffing his cheeks out. He lets the breath go slowly and stands back up, gripping the exposed length of her arms with long fingers and opening his eyes. "Ok, let's try that again, what's up?"

"I—" she's not exactly sure and she pauses to think about it, bending her elbows to dislodge his hands and grabbing one of them when they fall to his sides. "We got that house finished this afternoon, the one on the north side? The rest of the crew is helping Ack's family move back in."

"That's great," he nods, but there's nothing really congratulatory in his quiet tone. She squeezes his hand and frowns, wondering why she actually came up here and resenting the fact that she has to think so quickly. She should have thought of the reason on the way over and he squeezes her hand back before glancing at her a bit pleadingly, urging her to fit a conversation into half its due time.

"We're going to start with the stables tomorrow, the gronkles already have the foundations down but…are you sure there's not anything else you'd rather have me doing?" As soon as the question comes out, Astrid is sure that it's the right one. Her brain is full of rusty sparring moves and a jumble of thoughts centered around that building site and Skullcrusher's stubborn performance.

She doesn't _want_ to be the one to deal with him adjusting to his new rider, or the awkward but earnest attempts Eret keeps making to assimilate. The man doesn't sit down, he's always lifting or helping or carrying something somewhere for somebody. And she doesn't want to be the one telling him how to get everywhere anymore. She's sure Hiccup has something more important, more personal, more crucial for her to handle. Anyone can use a dragon to lift a log.

Hiccup thinks on her question for a too long minute, chewing on his lip and flinching when there's another clatter inside the house. Astrid opens her mouth to ask what's going on inside but he cuts her off, shaking his head as his hand goes slack and unresponsive in hers.

"I—no, you're fine on construction. That's the biggest thing going on right now." He nods to himself, staring at nothing in particular. She drops his hand and it swings back against his side. He looks impossibly skinnier out of the flight suit, absolutely _wrong_ somehow. Grounded.

"Have you been flying at all?" She checks and he grits his teeth, jaw flexing frustrated. She takes a step backwards, looking around for Stormfly and planning a graceful exit before she manages to make this worse. Why would she ask him that? Look at him, he doesn't look like he's been flying. "Just…just let me know if there's anything else I can do, alright? I'll leave you to it."

"Hey," he sighs, "I'm not trying to take this out on—there is something," he brightens a bit and she follows the lead, nodding helpfully. "It's not really a small favor or anything, it's…"

"Anything."

Anything to make him a little less miserable. Frankly, anything to make him look at her like he's happy she's here instead of mourning the lost time. Anything to give him more time, to take a bit off of his too full plate.

"I feel pretty horrible about handing over Skullcrusher like I did, especially after you told me he's being stubborn about eating and I really need someone to keep an eye on him." He looks at her, green eyes downright pleading and she nods, because what she wants to say is stuck. "And Eret too." Hiccup shakes his head and laughs, more hysterical than amused, "because I'm only now realizing that everyone probably knows by now he tried to trap Toothless, and now he's in the village with my dad's dragon and I didn't have time to tell him anything important—"

"That's what you want me to do?" Astrid cuts him off, because he's forgetting to breathe and she's not sure she remembers how either. "You want me to look after Skullcrusher?"

"And Eret."

"Skullcrusher and Eret."

He could have told her to run off after Drago with her childhood axe and she somehow thinks she'd be more thrilled at the prospect.

"That'd be a huge help," he nods sincerely, growling to himself when yet another loud something falls on the ground inside his hall. "I've got to get back inside."

"So, Skullcrusher and Eret," Astrid repeats, the words sounding oddly hollow inside her brain as Hiccup inches back towards the door, too eager to leave. She wants to give him a reason to stay and wishes it weren't so selfish.

"Thank you," he manages a small, closed off smile before bracing his fingers on the door handle and clamping down a little too tightly, white knuckled against the wood. "I can't trust anyone else with this one."

"Of course not."

It's not lost on her that it's the first time _her_ sarcasm goes right over _his_ head.

**00000**

**I'm feeling worse and worse for Hiccup…and for fun, any guesses what's going on inside of the house knocking things down? **

**Seriously though, I'm having far too much fun with this. **


	4. Crazy

**Ok guys, I heard that a few of you have been PMing Midoriko-sama about this thing, please send those comments my way. Because she only knows some of the story anyway…**

**Also, almost thirty reviews for the last chapter? What is this voodoo magic? Thank you! **

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Astrid doesn't normally get to see her little sister in the mornings, but when she does, it always makes her feel awful for staying away. Dagny was such a late addition to the family, utterly an accident and born just a few months before Stormfly came to stay, that Astrid isn't quite sure she ever got used to even having a sister. By then it was all the academy and adventures and coming home to sit with a baby just wasn't all that appealing. Not to mention that growing up with dragons seems to desensitize kids to the terrors crowing at dawn, and the little girl inherited their mother's tendency to sleep in. And for those first couple of years, she was mostly in bed by the time that Astrid got home, excited and inflated with important tasks around the village.

But then, when Astrid was seventeen and Dagny was about three, Astrid handed over the axe. It's just a toy that she remembers loving, but her sister took to it like a dragon to the breeze and the fourteen year age difference didn't seem to matter anymore. They had that level of connection, that nuance that once unified Astrid with her mother. One masterful toss with that pudgy arm and Astrid's elbow was bruising and she started spending those long Hiccup-free afternoons in the backyard with her sister and her dragon, throwing and playing until Dagny went to bed at sundown and Astrid found herself meandering to the mead hall in search of distraction.

At six, she's just starting to get a little skinny, those first real growth spurts taking some of the childhood pudginess out of her arms. Astrid didn't notice it the last time she saw the girl, and that was only a week ago. She finally gets what her mother is always fussing about, 'kids grow up so fast, you blink and they're charging off to battle without you!' The little girl is finally tall enough to eat at rough wood table near the hearth without a boost and she kicks her new fur boots against her chair with a rhythmic little rock.

Astrid smiles at her and she giggles.

"Are you still learning to read with Mama?" The first reading lesson had been something of a disaster, Dagny got caught up in the pictures and tried to make her own story instead of reading the words. It was adorable until she started stomping and screeching when anyone tried to correct her.

Astrid tried again with her the next day, and it went a little better, outside with Stormfly curled up around them and listening intently for words she understood, but Dagny has always been better for Astrid than their mother anyway. Something about impressing older siblings, Astrid supposes, but it might also be because she tries to keep from making it all too serious while her mother always manages to make it sound like a duty. Astrid thrived under that sort of pressure as a kid, but her sister isn't seeing dragon raids to make time seem short. The six year old's future seems eternal, and that's the last thing Astrid would want to snatch away.

"Mhmm," Dagny nods, stirring her small bowl of porridge with the back of her wooden spoon and humming to herself. She frowns, big blue eyes squinting a bit, and looks back up at Astrid. "Does everyone have houses again?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know that Harald's house got smashed, but he said that he saw you and Stormfly with logs building houses. Are you done with everyone's yet?" Astrid can't ever quite keep track of all of Dagny's friends, because there are honestly too many four year olds to count. No one could have anticipated just how many babies would be born right around a year after the battle of the Red Death.

"I think we're almost done with the houses. But today, I'm going to start building a new stable for all the new dragons who are living here now."

"You and Hiccup?" Dagny asks, adorable flush on small pink cheeks.

Her crush is no secret and set in the same year she picked up that axe. Hiccup got caught in the crossfire and handed the wooden toy back to her with a good-natured compliment on her throwing arm, and the toddler was smitten. Astrid has never minded too terribly much, even though she's endured endless teasing from Hiccup that he's fallen for a younger woman.

"Not me and Hiccup. Hiccup is chief now, remember? So he's building some houses, but mostly doing a lot of other important things around the village." Astrid explains as simply as she can, hoping that her mother explained about Stoick already. She makes a point not to lie to her sister, and she wouldn't start now, but that doesn't seem like a great way to start the morning.

"Hiccup can't be chief."

Astrid's heart plummets through her stomach.

"Why can't Hiccup be chief, sweetie?"

"Because the chief's chair is really big," Dagny explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and ever warrior bit of Astrid that wants to grit her teeth and explain all the real reasons backs off. She nods and takes a bite of her own porridge.

"The chief's chair is pretty big. Maybe Toothless sits with him, they'd probably both fit."

"When is Hiccup going to come and give me rides?" The way that she says Hiccup's name makes Astrid smile, remembering that first heart-wrenching time that Hiccup insisted that everything would be fine, strapping a giggling three year old to his chest and taking off. Everything was fine, but all Astrid could think about was all the ways her mother would gut her if it wasn't.

"I don't know, hun, he's really busy right now." Astrid can't decide what would be worse, telling Hiccup that her sister is asking for rides and having him rush over or having him ignore it. Then again, it's not even really an option, considering the next time she sees him she'll have to report how things are going with Eret.

She looks at the sun, inching away from dawn into morning and sighs, struggling to validate drawing breakfast out any longer. She's late as is.

She promised Eret that duel today too, to make things even better.

"Why are you so grumpy?"

"What? I'm not grumpy," Astrid finishes the last bite of her breakfast and pushes the bowl away, trying to convince herself to stand up. Her sister nods, tawny blonde braids bobbing against the table. It used to look like she'd stay golden-haired, but every month it's drifting closer and closer to their father's brunette. Astrid reaches across the table and musses the girl's hair, standing and retrieving her boots from their nighttime roost near the door. "What makes you say I'm grumpy?"

"You're frowning."

"I'm just tired," Astrid tugs on her first boot and adjusts the fur cuff on the second before stepping into it. "I'm really busy too."

"Can you give me rides?"

"You want a ride on Stormfly?" The Nadder used to scare Dagny when she was younger, it's not the same sort of smooth ascent that Toothless has and Astrid has never been as good about strapping the girl down, instead trusting a tight grip.

She nods, either over the fear or not remembering that she used to be scared. Astrid wishes she were six.

"…today maybe?" Dagny pushes her luck, blue eyes wide enough to make it obvious that she knows exactly what she's doing. That always works on Hiccup, and her father now that she thinks of it, and Astrid wonders if it's a man thing.

"Ok, but only if you read with mama later." Astrid agrees anyway, because maybe it's a good excuse to get out of sparring. She's disgusted with herself for even thinking about running from a fight, but just thinking about being that close to Eret makes her oddly nauseous.

She wonders if anyone has told him about wash day and if that's her job now that Hiccup brought this whole thing up.

Dagny apparently takes her scowl to be an effective hard bargaining technique and gives in with a disgruntled nod. Astrid _really_ wishes she were six so she and Dagny could spend the day avoiding their reading and play dueling in the mud.

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Eret looks _broader_ from above somehow, and Astrid nudges Stormfly to land before she's tempted into another lap around the stable's new foundation. She's late enough already and a few Vikings are milling around a group of saddled Nadders and Nightmares, waiting for her cue. She's guilty and angry all at once, because Hiccup asked her to do two things, lead a crew and deal with Eret. And it's not too much, she knows it's not, but avoiding one means avoiding the other. She's never avoided anything before and it's already horrible.

Skullcrusher gives her a Stoick-worthy look when she touches down, stern enough that she almost apologizes. But then she remembers that Skullcrusher is the kind of dragon who deserves apology and he's somehow with a rider who might not know that yet.

If she's doing it for Skullcrusher _and_ Hiccup, it's easier somehow and she turns to Eret with a carefully expectant expression.

"Let's go, I think we're the only ones who can get the uprights into place." She looks away as he climbs into the Rumblehorn's saddle and up to her eye level, not quite a Nadder wing away.

"Oversleep?" He asks and her eyes flick towards him. She sits up a little straighter and forces herself to hold eye contact.

"Have you and Skullcrusher been getting along? Hiccup asked me to check in on you."

There, not so hard. Hardly anything is ever as hard as she builds it up to be in her head, she thought she learned that years ago.

"Once I learned about the cod," he shrugs. Noncommittal looks strange on him.

"Are _you_ doing ok?" The emphasis proves to be a bad thing when he looks at her, narrowing his eyes slightly and reading her face like a map, the astute trapper that they should have been more cautious with.

She really wonders how he never got frostbite, sailing around the arctic in that half-covered getup. Goosebumps break out along her arms and she tugs her arm wrappings up a bit, snugging them against the crooks of her thumbs.

"Hiccup told you to keep an eye on me," he finally declares, too confident to be a guess. His chin twists with that smug grin and his tattoos are newly fascinating, straight, blue lines warped against the sun. She looks away too quickly and Stormfly shuffles her feet, eager to get started and inexplicably nervous. Maybe Skullcrusher is more anxious than they'd feared and the feeling is radiating off of him and snaring Stormfly into its web.

"He's not afraid you're going to run off with all the dragons or anything," Astrid snips and it feels a bit better, a bit more like how she'd interact with any of the other men making accusations like that. "I think he's just worried he unleashed a clueless madman into the village with his father's dragon."

"Do you think I'm a madman?"

"I don't know you well enough to answer that." It's bluntly honest, and it brings her further back to life, pushing her shoulders back and correcting a slouch she doesn't remember inviting. "You could be a crazy person. And I don't want Skullcrusher stuck with some nut job, he deserves better than that."

"You don't want that or _Hiccup_ doesn't want that?"

Astrid opens her mouth to retort then pauses, because the more she thinks about the question the stranger it seems. It's fraught with nonexistent contention, pitting her _against_ Hiccup when it's downright ludicrous to picture herself anywhere but beside him.

"Why would you ask it like that? Obviously neither of us wants Skullcrusher with a crazy person."

"So Hiccup told you to find out if I'm crazy?"

"Hiccup _asked_ me to make sure that you two are getting along alright and to—to make sure that you're finding your bearings. On Berk. Are you?" And all she can think of is her and Eret, the only two lonely people in the crowded mead hall, twin bubbles miles apart. He's soft after the question, almost awkward in Stoick's saddle that doesn't quite fit with the massive dragon getting antsy underneath him.

"I could really use a sparring partner before I get absolutely useless. After work?"

It's Astrid's kind of offer. No deciphering required, and it hits her that the tone is almost Stoick off-duty, asking her to check if Hiccup is at the forge or somewhere nameless. Familiar.

She nods.

"I have something to do right after work, but I'll have time around sunset," she squints at the sun, which is now well into mid-morning, and grimaces, "but we have a lot to get done between now and then."

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**I love Eret too much. He's smarter than I expected and far too much fun to write. Also, I'd like your thoughts on Astrid having a little sister, it's something I've never really thought about before but turned out pretty adorable if I do say so myself. **


	5. Comfortable

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"Are you even trying?" Astrid laughs through heaving breaths, spinning her grip on her axe slowly and edging around Eret in a wide circle. He shrugs a surely bruised circle and smirks at her, halfway to sneering as he raises his sword back halfway to shoulder height.

"You've got quite the reach with that," he grins at the challenge and she lunges forward, cutting down with a quick swipe that he barely manages to dodge this time. She's glad that she has leather guards for the blades and that she doesn't have to worry about actually cutting him.

Fighting Eret is already different from anyone else she's ever dueled. Even though he has the strength for it it's not all stalwart charges and obvious downswings. She has her normal advantage of speed, and for the first time in a while, reach, as he continually underestimates the true length of her axe handle. He's also frustrated by bragging that never phased Stoick or her mother, and there's something genuinely exciting about her teasing making him falter.

She swings again and he blocks the blow, jabbing forward and forcing her to twist and nearly stumble before catching her balance and edging out of his reach.

"It's an axe. Of course it's got a reach," she laughs and twirls the weapon, trying to hide that she's catching her breath.

"But I'm wondering…" he looks at her too intensely for a moment and she stumbles, immediately cursing herself. She hasn't stumbled like that in years, she must really be rusty from the weeks away from her weapon.

"Don't think too hard."

He grins.

"I'm wondering what happens if someone gets _close_—" He dodges her ashamedly haphazard swing and steps too close, raising his blade towards her throat. She drops to the ground and kicks his feet out from under him before rolling to the side and springing back to her feet.

"That," Astrid grins breathlessly, a little too smug as she swings her leather covered axe blade towards his throat. She wishes she'd gone closer to full speed when his hand darts up and catches her handle, yanking sharply and forcing her to roll with the motion, diving over him and struggling to pull her blade from his grip. He holds tight and she takes the opportunity to kick his sword out of his hand, lurching forward and butting his chest with the blunt edge of an axe.

He stumbles and ducks for his sword and she knows she has him, kicking him in the shoulder and knocking him flat on his stomach. She follows the fall instantly, jumping onto his back and pressing her axe handle to the back of his neck. He squirms and she wishes she were heavier, planting the point of her knee between his shoulder blades and _pushing_ until he coughs into the dirt and his face starts going blue.

He taps out and she sets her axe aside, feeling instantaneously insubstantial on top of him without the weapon.

On top of him.

Shit.

She jumps off of him and wipes raw, clammy hands on her shirt, willing feeling back into suddenly trembling knees. He rolls and sits up, glaring at her and reaching over his shoulder to touch the surely blooming bruise square in the middle of his back.

"You're brutal," the comment straddles the line between admiration and insult and Astrid shrugs, swallowing against her mysteriously dry throat.

"Sorry," but it's far too flippant to be a real apology. "I'm used to actual retaliation."

"And all this time I thought the chief must've been going easy on _you_," he rolls his apparently stiff, distractingly thick neck and she looks away, picking up her axe and wiping dirt off of the leather sparring covers.

"Oh, he was," she thinks back on how small she felt, the first time standing across from all the might of Stoick the Vast. "I always got the feeling he was barely trying and I only won…twice?" She twirls the axe slowly, thumb slipping easily over the familiar worn smooth patch on the wooden handle, honed to a soft sheen over hours and hours of practice.

"Glad _I_ didn't try to fight him," Eret shakes his head in a valiant effort to brush off what might be embarrassment sprawled across half of a cocky grin.

"You didn't have a choice," Astrid scoffs, removing the guards from her axe and pacing to the edge of the clearing, lining herself up with an old growth pine. She lets the axe fly and it sticks in the trunk with a satisfying thump and wobble. "So don't flatter yourself."

"I had you below deck, didn't I?" He saunters past and grips her still trembling axe handle, tugging casually and failing to remove it. She rolls her eyes and steps forward, placing the ball of her foot against the base of the tree and yanking the blade out of the wood. Her hip jostles his as she regains control of the weapon and she spins away too quickly, striding two steps towards the center of the clearing.

"I remember that a _bit_ differently," she waves him aside with a flick of her head, throwing the axe again and missing her previous mark by an inch. "We gave ourselves up."

"Hiccup gave you both up," he corrects her, so damn smug, stepping up to the tree and pulling her axe out with an acceptably respectful two handed tug.

"So you _do_ remember what happened, I thought I might have hit you too hard." She holds her hand out, asking for the axe, but Eret steps back to stand even with her, holding the weapon over his shoulder and aiming at the tree. "Ok, your form is terrible, hand it over before you snap it in half." He raises his eyebrows at her and she scoffs, torn between reaching across him and grabbing it to shuffle a _safer_ distance away. "I'll teach you."

"It's throwing an axe, how hard can it be?" He looks back at the tree and narrows his eyes, shuffling uselessly like it'll help him aim. She steps around him before he can let go and do real damage to the weapon, grabbing the handle near the blade and nudging his elbow with her other hand.

"Move this out, so the handle is straight up and down," she insists before grabbing his wrist and trying to shake it. "And hold this steady," she finally pokes at his knuckles and lets go of her grip on the weapon's handle, "and don't hold it so tight, you'll drive it into your foot if you don't let it go soon enough."

"Is that what happened to Hiccup?" He asks, and she recognizes his solid, barely shifting stance, memorizing the form. She corrects his wobbly wrist again with a closed knuckled nudge and steps back, crossing her arms.

"No. Are you going to throw it?" He's still familiarizing himself with the stance and she cocks her hip. 'Today would be nice."

He glares at her before turning back to the tree and letting the axe fly. Astrid flinches when it spins out of control and it's broadside smacks far too high against the trunk and falls anticlimactically onto the roots. Astrid shakes her head and nudges him with her elbow in a moment of cockiness, "my six year old sister has better aim than that."

"You have a six year old sister?" He asks, looking at her too closely again as she retrieves the weapon, smoothing her thumb over a regrettable new nick in the blade.

"Don't sound so shocked," she steps backwards to stand beside him and cranks her arm back, ready to demonstrate. She nearly takes Eret's head off when he reaches up to touch her wrist, fingers too warm against the stressed tendon managing the axe's weight.

"Ok, your arm is twisted a bit," he comments, and her heart beats a little too fast. This throw hits squarely between her first two strikes. "You know, now I'm wondering why you didn't sink this into my head." She has to grin at that, retrieving her axe and almost sliding it back into its holster before faltering and handing it to him. He takes a careful stance, purposefully twisting his arm only slightly and letting the weapon fly.

The axe hits a little too close to vertical, blade sinking only slightly into the trunk before slipping out and falling.

"Better," she watches him retrieve the weapon, eyes tracing a red welt from their spar spanning his upper arm. That's going to bruise and she's oddly proud. "And killing you wouldn't have helped us get to Drago."

"So you did know about Hiccup's plan?" He exhales and holds the axe back again, throwing it a little harder and managing a vertical throw with a good spin that misses the tree entirely and ends up in a bush. "Because you looked surprised to be handing the axe over," he gestures towards the weapon's landing place and Astrid quirks a skeptical eyebrow.

"You missed, you go get it."

"After you, I insist." It reminds her of that boat and that day and Drago, and her face contorts into a cruel smirk.

"Do you know what the best part of that visit was?" She laughs to herself, not quite humorously, and raises a too small hand to cover his long face and shove. He stumbles back, probably shocked, and she grins. "Now all I need is Grump."

00000

Astrid tells Eret to follow her after he finally relents and gets her axe and they fly back towards Berk. But she doesn't feel like going home, not right away, she doesn't know what she's going to do with those last hours until sunset, and she finds herself landing on a nearby rock. Not quite an island, more of a pillar, somewhere she and Hiccup found years ago as a tiny granite zone of privacy. Berk is clearly visible, glimmering and too perfect on the horizon and Astrid slides off of Stormfly to find a comfortable seat somewhere. Eret follows, even though a small silent part of her wanted him to go home, and he leans back against Skullcrusher's flank, already so comfortable.

"So, you knew the chief well?" Eret asks after a long, tense silence, glancing at Astrid, who is hugging her knees and staring at the smoke billowing from the chief's hall's chimney.

"Hmm?" She shakes her head and leans away from him a bit, wondering when he got so close to her in the first place. Why didn't she choose a bigger rock? She knows dozens.

"The chief, you must've really known him," he repeats and Astrid blinks slowly at him, flicking her eyes to Skullcrusher for validation that they've had something like this conversation before.

"Haven't we established that?" She asks archly, staring back at the lodge, a small warm spot on the horizon.

"Just making conversation." He twiddles his thumbs and pats the dragon's haunch behind him. Astrid sighs too loud and scrubs her hand across her face, slapping the granite beside her seat in nonverbal frustration.

"He was…" her boyfriend's father, but it sounds fake and light and wrong. "He was my friend."

"_Friends_ with the chief…" He muses, and it's not a question so much as an invitation to continue. She takes it.

"Everyone is so upset, there's no room for everything else," she blurts, only for her own benefit. It's oddly refreshing, the way that the words might land somewhere halfway receptive. Eret didn't know Stoick, he didn't know the larger than life, legendary chief of Berk. "And I have nothing to be upset about, especially not compared to Hiccup or his mother and—" She stops herself, feeling stupid and wondering where this is come from. "Never mind."

"No, it sounded like you had something to say."

She glares at him, lips clamped shut. He doesn't flinch, and it's not Hiccup's ancient and pleading 'what's wrong' that she hasn't heard since chief became a real possibility.

"He…I just think he might get it. He'd be ok with it, and that's not what you're supposed to say, and it should make me feel better, but it doesn't." She crosses her arms and ignores Stormfly fondly adjusting her windblown hair. "Sorry," she grumbles more than genuinely apologizes, half hoping that the wind steals the word away entirely.

"S'alright," he's a little louder, making it so abundantly clear that he heard her half-hearted apology that she wants to hit him. "It sounds like you miss him."

"I do," she nods in quiet agreement because there's no point in refuting it. "I don't think I even realized how much he was…around," she grins briefly and it feels genuine for the first time in a few days. "He used to check how sharp my axe was when he didn't think I was looking. It drove him crazy that Hiccup never brought anything."

"Besides a _Night Fury_," Eret drawls and Astrid nods.

"He'd always _say_ that too, it'd be long past dark and Hiccup wasn't back yet and he'd pace around the room reciting facts about night furies like Fishlegs—"

"Fishlegs?" Eret asks and it's a reminder that he's still odd and new.

Right now, that's a wonderful thing somehow. He's not carrying his own grief about this and there are no toes to step on. Better than the five that really don't need her trouncing on them right now.

"Big blonde kid, with the dragon cards." Eret curls his lip and hunkers further into Skullcrusher's side.

"Hangs around the crazy girl?"

"That's the one," Astrid laughs to herself and stares at the ground. "Are you saying you're scared?" She teases, because it'll get a reaction and he shifts indignantly.

"Not scared…" Skullcrusher scoffs behind him, practically rolling dragon eyes in Astrid's direction.

"I think he's calling you a wuss," Astrid gestures to the dragon and Stormfly nods in agreement, fussing again with Astrid's braid.

"You Viking women are—"

"Careful," Astrid warns with a bemusedly menacing chuckle. She's oddly excited to tell Ruffnut about this, excited to have something better to do than return to the silence.

"Scary," he finishes, all strange long vowels and she grins.

"Thank you."

"Not entirely sure it was a compliment," he laughs and she glances back towards the village, bright but still scarred along the horizon.

"If we're all so _scary_," she rolls the word across her tongue, knowing that it would have been a compliment five years ago. It feels different now, a barrier she's not sure when she erected. Stoick didn't think she was scary and she misses that, she misses the safe zone where she could be twenty and not lose the man's respect. "Then why are you staying?" Astrid pauses for a moment, suddenly mysteriously panicky. "You are staying, right? Because Skullcrusher is really starting to like you."

Skullcrusher gives the man an almost affectionate nudge and it's calming. Astrid is looking out for the dragon's best interests, just like Hiccup asked her to.

"I don't think you can really go anywhere else once you've ridden dragons. It's not something you can easily give up." Astrid glances at him, eyes catching on the comfortable slope of his shoulders against Skullcrusher's flank behind him.

"Family?" She's a little quieter for no real reason she can discern. He shrugs. "Ah."

"Plus, I'm sure that Drago isn't done with Berk," Eret hardens and she's very aware of the line of her axe across her shoulders. "And I think that I owe him a scar." Skullcrusher grunts in ascent and Astrid nods slowly.

"I owe him _something_ too."

00000

**Ok. Some developments going down here, we have some sparring going down, and I hope that's alright, not something I normally write. And then we have some chatting. **

**I'm pretty excited about this one. **


	6. Cornered

**This thing is trying to get away from me. But I'm enjoying the new chapter length too much to stretch it out. **

00000

Astrid wakes up to Ruffnut shaking her shoulder, bright eyed and barely peeking out from the furs on the other side of the bed.

"What?" She snips, glancing out the window and the barely risen sun and shrugging her friend's hand off of her arm. Ruffnut scoots closer, bedhead taking over their shared pillow and Astrid grumpily tugs the furs back over her face.

"Do you know _when_ he's coming by?" Ruffnut asks, barely even trying to be casual and Astrid disappears entirely under the covers with a groan.

"I don't know, and I didn't get any sleep with you kicking me all night," Astrid complains and Ruffnut joins her under the furs.

"But he'll probably be by _soon_ right?"

"Seen much of Fishlegs lately?" Astrid changes the subject with an irritated sneer, rolling over and yanking the covers off of her friend entirely, huddling against the chill air of the room and almost managing to relocate the path towards sleep. Ruffnut shrugs violently enough to shake the whole bed.

"He's been nursing Meatlug, and it's sort of boring, he just sings her songs and feeds her pebbles." Astrid doesn't point out that it's already monumental that she even knows that.

"She's still sick?" Ruffnut shrugs and Astrid perks up a bit, concerned about the gronckle and poking her head out from the nest of furs. Ruffnut rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, obviously miffed.

"I don't think she was ever sick in the first place," the girl twin drawls suspiciously, "I think she's not ready for Fishlegs to have another woman in his life."

"You're jealous of Meatlug?" Astrid snorts, regretfully giving up on sleep and sitting, combing her fingers through bed-head tangles and braiding her hair over her shoulder.

"_No_," Ruffnut scowls, wrapping and knotting chunks of crazy blonde around her long disheveled braids. "I just…she's stealing my thunder."

"Come on, that's the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. If Fishlegs is feeding Meatlug pebbles, bring them a boulder." Ruffnut frowns, almost pensive as she swings her legs over the side of the bed and scuffs callused feet across the rough wood floor. "Drop a boulder through his roof." That wins a smile, and Ruffnut grins over her shoulder.

"That would be fun."

"Maybe hand it through a window, because I'm going to end up fixing the roof," Astrid amends gently, and it seems to momentarily dissipate the girl's excitement before Ruffnut remembers what she's waiting for.

"Right, because you're stuck doing construction. With Eret," her grin is absolutely obscene. "Seriously, when does he normally come boy?" She stands and leans out of the open window before squatting down and barely peeking out, lying in wait.

"That's really creepy, Ruff," Astrid heaves to her feet, muscles still a bit sore from sparring a couple of days ago, and thumbs through her basket of clean clothes for today's outfit, almost cautiously setting it on the messed up bed when she finds it. "It's not like I have his schedule memorized."

But she should probably wait to change.

"You're no help at all," Ruffnut kneels down from her squat and rests her elbows on the windowsill. "You're with Eret all day and you never have anything juicy to report."

"That's because nothing juicy happens," Astrid flushes when Stormfly squawks outside, whirling on her heel to look out the window at the predictable broad shouldered form sauntering up to Stormfly's roost on the barn roof and tossing her a cod. He wipes his hand on his hip and raises it in an easy wave that freezes in the face of Ruffnut's overzealous response.

Astrid waves when he doesn't go away and he quickly averts his eyes from Ruffnut's general direction, walking away notably quicker than normal. Ruffnut leans halfway out of the window to watch and Astrid turns back to her bed, changing near furtively out of her night tunic.

Ruffnut doesn't shut up about the 'experience,' prattling on about Eret's shoulders and wave and _walk_ the entire time she gets dressed and follows Astrid downstairs to the kitchen table. Her mother is already scooping Dagny's porridge into a bowl and Astrid ruffles her sister's sleep messy braid on the way to get her own breakfast.

"But Astrid, you cannot seriously be telling me you haven't noticed his _saunter_," Ruffnut nearly growls the last word and Astrid's mother raises blonde eyebrows.

"Why are you girls talking about?" She gets the jar of honey down from the Dagny-proof top storage shelf and sets it down on the table. Astrid shrugs, apparently too obviously and sits down next to her sister, helping the girl spoon honey into her bowl without making too big of a mess. "I'm assuming it's not Hiccup, then."

Astrid ignores that second comment entirely, cleaning a small dribble of honey off of the table top with her finger and sucking the sweetness off idly as she stirs a spoonful into her own breakfast.

"Oh, you know, Berk's new juicy lambshank," Ruffnut sits down at the table like this is normal early morning conversation and Astrid's clean finger slips out of her mouth with a too loud popping sound. "Eret, son of Eret." The crazy girl pretends to fan herself and Dagny giggles, bringing a clumsy spoonful of porridge to her mouth.

"That handsome man with a soft spot for your Nadder, Astrid?" Her mother sits down at the head of the table and Astrid dodges the question, a strange _wrong_ feeling settling in her stomach.

"Where's dad?"

"Left early, looks like there might be rain this afternoon and he wants to get the boats in before lunch," her mother leans forward, looking for the gossip. "I heard Fanghorn Jorgenson saying he was a real looker but I didn't really appreciate it until he started _throwing_ fish to the beast out back every morning." Astrid blanches and Ruff grins and nods like a madwoman.

"Those _arms_."

"He may not be a Viking but he carries himself like one, if you know what I mean," Astrid's mother playfully elbows Ruffnut in the arm. "And it's awfully nice of him to walk by every morning when I'm making breakfast—"

"Mom!" Astrid crosses her arms and Dagny copies her with a glare that doesn't quite cover a girlish giggle.

"I see him waving to _you_, dear."

"We work together," Astrid simplifies, deflating slightly and focusing on her breakfast.

"Is that why he's your new sparring buddy?" Ruffnut asks and Astrid nearly drops her spoon.

"How'd you figure out about that?" She hisses and Ruffnut grins.

"Was it supposed to be a secret?"

"Well no," Astrid turns to her mother and gestures silently for a moment, filled with an urge to explain herself that she can't really justify. "Hiccup asked me to help him out. He's been taking care of Skullcrusher and Hiccup just wants to make sure that they're getting along." Her mother quirks a too wise eyebrow and Astrid clears her throat. "But he's busy so he asked me to do it for him."

"So it's an undercover mission from the chief?" Astrid's mother takes a bite of her own breakfast and glances at Ruffnut, who looks like she just learned the biggest secret of the year, but she should have known about it sooner.

"Mrs. H, I think we need to go get our super-secret missions from the chief."

Astrid finishes her breakfast in silence.

00000

Opting to take the long way to work, Astrid arcs over the village, wallowing in tumultuous peace with the silence in her head. She's soaring over the inner edge of the village, Stormfly flapping harder in the doldrum of the facing cliff, when a familiar friendly warble catches her attention from below. She spies Toothless and a distracted Hiccup below and lands on impulse, sliding off of Stormfly's back and barely dodging Toothless's overly friendly pounce in her direction. The Night Fury gives her a gummy smile and she pats his nose before waving him off towards Stormfly's excited trills.

"Hey," Astrid greets Hiccup, walking up beside him and staring up at the cliff he's apparently fixated on, trying to discern what's so interesting. He jumps at her voice before sighing relieved and turning halfway towards her, running his hand back through his hair.

"You've got to stop sneaking up on me," he laughs and she looks over her shoulder towards the two chirping dragons behind them, who aren't being quiet at all.

"Not on purpose," she reaches out to press the button on the front of his armor, investigating exaggeratedly slowly, and he grabs her hand at the last possibly second, fumbling her fingers slightly. "How long have you been up?" The shadows under his eyes are more like bruises and her thumb strokes across the back of his limp hand in hers.

"Didn't go to sleep," he laughs like he knows it's stupid, but it's probably solely for her benefit as his face almost immediately reverts to slack and pensive. "I flew out to Dragon Island and back to the nest," his eyes bright slightly above sallow cheeks and she frowns at him.

"Did anyone know you were gone?"

"My mom did."

"Does she know you're back?"

"She was gone this morning when I dropped by," he shrugs and she tries to tug her hand away, struggling with a prick of anger that somehow feels unjustified. "It's fine, Astrid. I was with Toothless."

"Drago is still out there," she warns him quietly and he flexes his jaw, silently peeved. She wishes she hadn't brought it up, it's too early, she realizes, she should give him more time. Everyone needs more time. "What…what is so interesting about this cliff?" She frees her hand and turns around, looking at the top of the mead hall over the thin strip of trees on the steep hill behind them.

"I'm not sure yet," he cocks his head slightly, eyes brightening again. Not a sane man's bright, she remembers the fever bright eyes of people lining up outside of the Goethi's hut for medicine every winter. She steps forward and tries to place her palm against his forehead but he bats her away with a casual, clammy hand.

"What's your schedule today?" She hates how hopeful her voice sounds. Needy, he doesn't need needy. The sun is halfway to mid-morning, and she hopes that everyone got started without her at the job site. "We'll—I'll probably be at a good stopping point by mid-afternoon if you wanted to go flying or something."

"Ugh, not today, I'm blocked in until sunset," he grimaces, wrapping a long arm around her shoulders and leaning on her with a pathetic groan. "This morning, I've got a marriage on the South Side, because apparently it can't be postponed for a couple of weeks," Astrid shifts on the soft ground, footing uneasy as she adjusts to his weight, "then I've got to figure out which trees to cut down to replenish the woodpile, since it's still empty from ship repair. I'm still dealing with thorsday's fishing fiasco over on the North shore," he doesn't elaborate and she pats the small of his back, trying to remember if he said anything about this to her and coming back dry.

"Fishing fiasco?"

"My fault," he sighs, turning to face her with both arms furling around her neck as his forehead falls to her shoulder. "I should have known not to put Hobblegrumps so close to the Zipplebacks," he stands up and grins, bright but sagging under his own weight, "my mom thought that one was hilarious when I told her. Apparently the same thing happened at the sanctuary a few years ago, she lost a quarter of the caves."

Astrid doesn't know how to respond, so she strokes at the back of his neck for a minute, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

"If you needed any help with the dragons…" There's some strange power in the title of chief that curbs her tongue. This isn't just Hiccup anymore, there's all that responsibility lingering over him and between them. There are so many things he's doing that she knows nothing about, and it's not his fault, but she wishes he'd tell her. She wants to ask about the fishing fiasco again, but it'd sound like nagging, like she's just someone else he has to report to.

If she learned one thing from Stoick about being chief it's that even though the chief has no leader, he reports to _everyone_.

Not her, she won't do that to him.

"I already asked my mom and she said she'd try."

"Oh." Astrid nods again, fiddling with one of his braids. If she does a third, she's going to have to do it on the other side, or she's going to have to commit to braiding the whole thing. She opens her mouth to suggest it, smile already creeping into the corners of her mouth, but no sound comes out and she contents herself with the hug, tracing the leather edges of his suit against his sides.

"It's getting late, I've got to go do a wedding," he stands with a grimace and she lets go, fingers reluctantly lingering against his armor before falling defeated to her sides. "Aren't you late for work too?"

"I was just wondering if you needed anything," she offers and his face splits into a wide grin as he raises cupped hands to his mouth like he's about to shout.

"Astrid Hofferson is late to something and _I_ reminded her!" He bellows and a few people on the streets below turn vaguely in their direction.

"Very funny," she crosses her arms, "seriously though, do you need me to do anything else?"

"You're…you're great where you are," he nods, wincing slightly at what he's about to say. "And how are things with Eret?" Astrid flushes. "Are they going alright?"

"Absolutely, he and Skullcrusher are getting along fine and…I'm trying to make friends, Eret seems sort of out of place," she admits quietly, like it's something she shouldn't say out loud. It probably should be secret, but if it stays in her mind, it makes her question whether he's out of place or she is.

"You are the best, Milady, thank you," he drops a kiss on her forehead before jogging off towards Toothless.

00000

**A little timeline note for those who are interested, I've recently decided that this is taking place between the last continuous scene in the second movie, and the dragon racing type scene in the ending monologue. Basically, that huge Stoick statue? That's going to take a few weeks, and this happens in those weeks. **

**Just in case that influences anyone's thoughts. **

**Too much fun. Someone stop me, seriously. **


	7. Unhealthy

**Or don't stop me…just keep encouraging the madness and see where that gets you…**

00000

They settle the last log into place mid-afternoon, but somehow Astrid can't take any pride in her prediction being right. It's too early to go home, and as guilty as she feels about it, she doesn't think she can take Dagny's six year old energy right now. Everything feels off, something is missing but she's not sure from where, and she checks her saddle bags for what feels like the fiftieth time that day, making sure her usual supplies are all there.

Hatchet, rope, extra fur, fish jerky dragon treats.

It's all there, of course. Again.

She lands with Stormfly and glances out at the ocean over a few rows of downhill houses and one big glimmering ice spike. It really is a beautiful day for late spring, almost balmy enough to be warm.

This time two years ago, it was gloomier, and she and Hiccup managed to get caught in the first violent rainstorm of the summer season. They'd said they would be back by nightfall but the clouds set in out of nowhere and they ended up spending the night in a cave on dragon island with a baby timberjack and a while flock of terrible terrors. Astrid doesn't think she's ever laughed so hard.

Something unexpected nudges her leg and she looks back and sees Skullcrusher staring up at her with what can only be gruff concern. She rubs her toes against his scaly cheek and ignores the imminent approach of his new rider.

"Are you ok?" Eret asks, and it's worse than Astrid could have predicted. The concern in his voice sounds strange, unpracticed. Her indecisive shrug is equally unfamiliar.

"Long day," she frowns and looks over at him, already comfortable perched in Stoick's old saddle. The wooden seat is too wide for even Eret's broad shoulders and she swallows hard, furrowing her eyebrows. "What makes you ask?"

"You've been quiet all day." She tries to remember if she opened her mouth other than to bark orders or praise Stormfly and comes up short.

She shrugs again, horribly noncommittal.

"Like I said, long day." The following silence is almost comfortable, and that's somehow alarming. She breaks it without thinking. "Ruffnut slept over at my house last night and I got nearly no sleep. She kicks like a yak."

"And I was assuming she broke into your room this morning," he grimaces and Astrid finds herself smiling.

"I wouldn't put it past her." She pats Stormfly's neck and the Nadder shifts from foot to foot, reading her mind. "Do you want to go on a flight? Or—" She catches herself, because a flight already feels reaching somewhere in the back of her mind.

"Or?"

"Do you want to go on a flight? We're done early and—" No, she's not going to _convince_ him, that absolutely feels wrong. She clears her throat like it can erase the accidental words.

"Right, because you're supposed to keep an eye on me," he halfway grins at her and it takes her far too long to realize it's a joke. He's not wry like Hiccup, nothing in his tone changes to cue her laugh even though his face twitches into an almost earnest smile.

"Absolutely. If I leave you alone, you're going to go on a dragon stealing rampage," she plays into it and his grin widens.

"By all means then, go." She snorts and it fades faster in the face of the ocean staring back at her. She's glad they didn't have Stoick's funeral here, sometimes bits of the burned boat washes up on shore days after. Her face falls. "Really, are you ok?"

Something about that near faltering sincerity gets under her skin this time and she bristles, sitting up straight and digging her fingernails into the heels of her hands.

"Really, if I leave you alone, you might go after Drago and bring Skullcrusher into the whole thing." Her mouth has a stubborn mind of its own. "Hey, what's the worst you could do?" She gestures towards the bank of still mulched houses to her right. "I think it's already happened." She laughs even though it isn't funny and glances back at him, downright disproportionate in that huge saddle.

"Why don't we go on that flight?"

She stares him down for a moment, looking at nothing in particular but glaring fixated all the time. Nodding is better than shrugging somehow and she pulls her hood over her head before taking off, leaning close to Stormfly's neck as the dragon rises into the rushing wind above the still island air. The air licks into her hood and pushes her bangs off of her forehead, flirting with the knot at the end of her braid.

It's colder up here, clearer and she can see Skullcrusher leaning into the wind out of the corner of her eye. She never told Stoick this, it just didn't seem _right_ somehow, but the Rumblehorn looks oddly _cute_ with his eyes fluttering shut against the breeze. It was so hard, giving Thornado up, and Stoick mentioned that he never thought he'd have another dragon. It didn't seem right, he said, it was forgetting Thornado, it was moving on while the Thunderdrum was still alive and might come back.

Stoick didn't give up.

But Skullcrusher showed up hurt and strange and scared on the beach after a winter storm and spewed fire at everyone who tried to help. Even Hiccup couldn't calm him down, Skullcrusher burned off an eyebrow when he wouldn't give up. It was Stoick who sat himself down on a piece of driftwood and stared the dragon down until he…acknowledged peace was possible.

Skullcrusher doesn't submit.

It took months for Skullcrusher's wing to heal, and for the first bit of that he stayed distant from the village, only broaching the line of the trees to accept juicy cod from Stoick's outstretched hands. He let Hiccup near him after a few weeks and Astrid soon after, but he never seemed to get comfortable in the village. He'd still make Stoick go out to the tree line and call him, even in the end—

Astrid sets her jaw and scans the ocean underneath them, thinking for a moment before nudging Stormfly down towards Raven's point, landing in a small clearing between old growth pines. And sliding from her saddle with an almost elegant landing that sends sparks through her toes when her heels smack the ground. Skullcrusher lands with a grunt and Eret dismounts nearly obnoxiously silently.

They don't spar.

Astrid stalks around the small clearing in a wide circle, white knuckles gripping her axe as she watches the late afternoon shadows of the tall, surrounding trees. It's the first time in her memory that she's ended a flight in a worse mood than when she took off and Stormfly squawks at her concerned, cocking her big head and looking to Eret.

Astrid doesn't want to notice him placing a calming palm on the Nadder's beak, she doesn't want to be grateful and furious all at once that someone else is comforting her dragon. She doesn't want to start talking, but it happens anyway.

"Hiccup isn't sleeping and he isn't talking to me," it immediately feels too private, dirty laundry she didn't know she had and she stops in her tracks, glancing at Eret before looking back at her toes. She stands up straighter and rolls her shoulders, staring at an old evergreen in front of her and letting her axe fly. Dead center. "I don't know what's going on. I always—I always know what's going on."

He's silent while she retrieves her axe, yanking it from the trunk of the tree and walking back to take aim again. She launches it at her original mark and it's a little high.

"I know what you mean," he starts slowly and she turns to look at him, cocking her head slightly. "I used to lead a crew, I had my own ship. Now I'm in the dark, even Drago used to relay where he wanted his shipment delivered." She leans pops her hip and crosses her arms.

"You're saying that Berk is worse than working for Drago?"

"I said that I don't know what's going on either. And I'm used to leading."

"If I had any information I'd pass it along," she deflates slightly, because maybe she was hoping for a fight, hoping for somewhere to direct this aimless verve swirling in her chest. She yanks her axe out of the tree again and stretches her shoulder before lining herself up.

"What are you so curious to know?" His question isn't quite nervous, but it's enough to make her smirk as she lets the axe fly again, straddling her two previous marks.

"I—I'm used to spending all my time outside of chores and work with either Stoick or Hiccup. I'm just used to knowing what's going on and why." She hurls the axe again and it shoots a spray of sawdust into the air.

"Work? What do you do when we're not building houses?" The 'we' feels oddly exclusionary. Not Berk, not their building crew, not the ever present 'Hiccup and Astrid' that she's used to. It's 'Astrid and Eret' and it makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

She wonders if he's asking because she's a woman, and things aren't so equal where he's from. He's suddenly strange and interesting again and she glances at the tattoos on his chin, wondering if they hurt, if they mean anything.

She swallows too hard and wipes her hands on the leather between the spikes of her skirt.

"Dragon training academy, mostly," she shrugs, this time liking the lackadaisical option. She's not sure what question she'd be answering with a nod or a sentence. "I think. Hiccup used to run it but obviously he'll be too busy."

"If they need someone—" His cocky tone sets her off.

"Then it'll be me. Training, not trapping." Offense feels good for a few moments until her stomach sinks. Asking Hiccup about the academy is going to be harder than asking him if she needs to ride Toothless. That academy is the first thing he and his father ever agreed on, she can't imagine how that feels. And she can't ask him about something that important when he's so…caught up. It'd feel like taking something, like conning him into giving her more work just because he can't stop to think for a few minutes.

"I suppose it's Hiccup's decision." Astrid manages a sneer. Eret is unimpressed.

She wants advice, she wants someone who understands and—

"If the chief—If Stoick were here, I'd ask him." He doesn't call her out on this slip up and she's glad.

He just looks at her, and she finds she's not used to the silence. She and Hiccup are never silent unless they're sleeping or—well, even then they're talking and laughing. And between them, Hiccup is the chatty one, carrying her away with speeches and inventions and stories.

There's something uncomfortably welcome in the quiet chasm stretching between them and she opens her mouth, swallowing and clearing her throat before any words manage to break the surface.

"We aren't supposed to be sad, it's not really something to be sad about," the words surprise her more than they should and she retrieves her axe, staring at its broad metal face and wiping a smudge of grime away from the metal with her thumg. "He—I'd be happy to die like that, that's how Vikings are supposed to die. Fighting." She throws the axe again and hears it hit more than sees it, thump vibrating in the soft spring ground beneath her toes. "And we all know he's in Valhalla and he died honorably and I should be _happy_ for him."

"He was your friend," Eret sounds like he's in on something obvious that she isn't. Like he's almost kindly cluing her into a fundamental truth that she should know already. She wants to punch his lights out. "You miss him."

"Of course I miss him, we covered that," she nips, wrenching her axe from so deep in the wood that it comes out half-polished. "Do you know what the last thing he said to me was? 'I've had enough mutiny for today.' The last time Stoick ever looked me in the eye was to tell me I was…unfaithful. Disloyal. Is that what he really thought? That's—if he could have _chosen_ the last sentence he said to me, would it have been about mutiny?" Her voice rises in pitch and she stalks back further into the clearing than before, almost forgetting the audience for her words that just keep spilling out. "But that's what everyone is doing, we're all thinking about ourselves and forgetting that he died—that's how he would have _wanted_ to go, saving his son, in battle…"

It doesn't sound glamorous. Her voice is hollow and fake and she takes it all out on the tree, her axe slamming into the center of the barks pulpy star with a satisfying thud. The trunk creaks.

Eret raises his eyebrows at her as the whole pine sways almost ominously for a moment before retrieving its stability. Astrid looks down at her hands, frowning at the newly opened blister on her palm from the speed of the throw.

She used to have thicker calluses.

"Astrid…" The way that he says her name makes her want to listen and she hates it. She walks up to the tree and yanks on the handle of her axe. It doesn't budge.

"Sone of a—Odin's beard—Yak-fracking—" A slew of half-formed curses spill out as she plants her feet against the base of the tree, pulling as hard as she can. Eret steps up beside her and bumps her away with his shoulder, and she almost elbows him in the ribs but he's too close for a good swing. The immediacy sends her stumbling away back towards the center of the clearing.

It's oddly satisfying to watch Eret struggle and strain in an attempt to free the axe, rocking it slightly and repositioning his grip around the well-worn segment of the handle.

"Remind me never to—" he grunts and her stomach churns. Skullcrusher steps up behind her and nudges the broad side of his face against her waist. She wraps an arm across his crest, sighing and scratching the other side of his head.

"Never to what?" She asks, a bit calmer, a bit less raw. She almost doesn't sound like herself and Stormfly walks up on her other side, trying to tuck her under a wide, blue wing. Astrid shrugs her off with a nonverbal promise of 'later', tightening her arm around Skullcrusher's broad head.

"Piss you off." He gets the weapon free with a monumental heave and stumbles a step backwards.

"It took you this long to figure that out?" She smiles, but it's not really genuine, and leans a little harder against Skullcrusher. The hug is strange and bony, but it's clearly a hug, and party of her realizes that the dragon probably needs it as much as she does. She finds that special, secret spot below his eye and scratches slowly.

"And I'm sure that Stoick was glad you had his son's back, even if you practically did stage a mutiny on _my_ ship." He walks towards her, compliment comforting and confusing in equal parts. "You don't have to be happy that your friend is dead," he offers her the axe and she accepts it too gingerly, blister stinging against the wood. "That sounds unhealthy, to be honest."

"Someone has to."

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Astrid feels better after her _episode_ in the woods, even though she's not sure if she's ever going to be able to look Eret in the eyes again. She's also not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. She pushes it to the back of her head and nudges Stormfly down, exhaling as the Nadder's wings spread to their full width and they start a smooth coast towards the ground. Flying feels good again, and in this moment, she understands why Hiccup gave up an entire night's sleep for the weightless, connected sensation.

Still, he's absolutely going to burn himself out if he doesn't slow down. And as happy for him as she is that he got a night to relax in the clouds, it still makes her heart throb to think about him alone and exhausted, drifting into Drago's clutches.

She just wishes he'd come and get her, she'd stay out all night if it meant he wasn't alone. Just like Eret said, Stoick _liked_ that Hiccup had her backup. Has. Has her backup, she'll never stop backing him up, even if he's determined he doesn't need her for some reason.

She finds herself landing in front of the chief's lodge again, probably just a force of habit, but she stays perched on Stormfly's shoulders, looking around for Toothless. The Night Fury usually doesn't go inside unless there's a fire to lay by, and there's no smoke wafting out of the chimney so she assumes Hiccup must still be in the village.

Something thumps against the other side of the lodge's wall and Stormfly cocks her head, looking back at Astrid concerned. The girl comforts her dragon with a pat on the neck before sliding off onto flight wobbly legs and shuffling towards the village. She's been sitting too long and walking feels good. Maybe she'll even run into Hiccup on the way.

Ideally she'll run into Hiccup.

She looks up at the sun, passing from late afternoon into early evening and gets her hopes up, because surely he must be on the way home to sleep. Astrid is halfway convinced to hunt him down by the time Stormfly peels off to join an emerald green Nadder at the feeding stations, but she's saved the trouble when he trudges out of the back door of the forge, too clean to have been working with a bored, exhausted Toothless on his heels.

He almost literally runs into her, and she stops him with hands on his determined shoulders. He blinks at her for a second, like he can't see her clearly with the sun shining in his eyes and offers half of an exhausted smile, slumping under her hands.

"No offense, but you look like dragon dung," she informs him and he steps out from under her hands, wiping the back of his hand across his unhealthily pale face.

"None taken. I feel like dragon dung."

"You should go get some sleep."

"Obviously," he snips at her, rolling his shoulders and patting Toothless's haunch as the dragon pushes past to bump his nose against Astrid's stomach in greeting. She scratches his head and he croons low in his throat, leaning a little harder against her.

"Ok," she draws out the word, waiting for the usual acknowledgment that he was being harsh. He avoids eye contact and shrugs and she purses her lips, stepping forward again and drawing him into a hug. It takes a minute before he hugs her back, sighing heavily and resting his cheek against her hair. "When is the next night you have off?"

"Tomo—no, that's the meeting with Hoark," he drums his fingers against her shoulder blades and the contact is absent and too close all at once. "Three…no, it's two days from now."

"Let's go flying then, get your mind off of everything," she leans back from the hug, hands on either side of his waist. He steps away from her entirely, probably worried about looking weak, and glances at Toothless. The black dragon warbles his assent and Astrid smiles. "Toothless wants to."

"Sunset, Toothless's cove," he agrees, face splitting into a grin that too quickly melts into a yawn.

"Two days from now," she affirms with a nod, brushing some ash off of his shoulder. "I'll see you then. Well, I hope I see you before then, but I'll definitely see you then."

"Alright." And he claps her on the shoulder as he trudges past.

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**I love this one, I won't be shy. Astrid needed to snap, and Eret needed to be terrified by a nearly taken out tree. And Hiccup needs a nap. Like seriously, someone get that boy a nap. **


	8. Rained

**To the guest blaming Stoick's death on Astrid, if that's how you feel, if you're looking for some sort of **_**Astrid repents and takes the blame for everything because of an out of control bluff**_** story, turn around now, this is not for you. **

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Astrid waits in Toothless's cove until it's truly dark, and not even the most hopeful corner of her mind can hold onto the sunset. She's been anticipating Hiccup cancelling their plans for days, ever since she asked him on a whim that made her feel instantly guilty, but she'd hoped that they were past the point where he didn't even bother to tell her he wasn't coming. She knows she has to real right to be mad, not really, he's the busy one and she should have followed his lead, but the urge to get him away from the pressure and all to herself for a few hours overtook the moment.

As much as she wants to be happy for him, because she _knows_ he used this long-anticipated night off for a long flight, she resents that he didn't let her know before leaving. She would have understood if he wanted to go alone, just him and Toothless and the sky, like he talks about in hushed tones while they're staring at the stars. She wouldn't have minded, she never does. He has to know that, right?

He has to know that by now.

It's sprinkling by the time she gets home and lets Stormfly into her barn and drizzling when she's staring at her darkened house, shutters drawn. Dagny is already asleep, surely, and her parents are probably enjoying the quiet. Astrid can't stand the silent house right now, she needs something loud, something distracting. Normally, the wind in her ears fulfills, but she never quite wrapped her mind around night flights. They always make her antsy, with Stormfly's bright white belly acting as the opposite of camouflage against the sky.

It's downright pouring by the time she walks into the mead hall, wringing her braid out onto the ground and uselessly blotting at her face with the equally soaked leather wrappings around her wrists. It's a completely different atmosphere than the last time she was here, dimmer and punctuated with occasional shouts rather than a constant blare, filled with young people and older silent men hugging their ale. It strikes Astrid that most people are home with their families in front of the fire, enjoying that last taste of cold before autumn.

Autumn is still at least five moons away though. At least, and that's if summer leaves early. It's not even really summer yet, what is she worrying about? It's still spring.

Not that she's worried about summer, that's ridiculous.

She pours herself a mug of ale and takes a seat next to the largely abandoned hearth in the middle of the room, leaning forward in the hopes that the heat radiating from the coals will start drying her hair. She hopes Hiccup found somewhere dry, instead of pushing through the storm like he so often tends to do. How many times did he come back and inflame her and Stoick's nocturnal worries, blue lipped and shivering in soaked armor, too excited to sit down?

He used to try and take her with him, but the rain stings without a helmet and helmets make her feel like she can't see, like silent dangers are lurking in the snipped corners of her peripheral vision. And someone had to keep the fire going to warm his stubborn ass up, someone had to try and distract Stoick from pacing.

Last winter, in the few weeks before Snoggletog they had such a massive snowstorm that Stoick executed a grounding order, and Astrid though Hiccup was going to twitch out of his skin by the end of his third day firmly attached to Midgard. Toothless didn't seem to mind too much, spending the time curled on the hearth and purring like a giant kitten, accepting so many treats that Hiccup had to fashion an extender for his girth. But Hiccup was inconsolable, cranky and nearly cruelly sarcastic, dashing outside as soon as his father mentioned that the clouds were clearing.

She's absolutely astounded that he didn't lose a finger or two his hands were so frozen into rock hard claws when he finally came back.

Stoick gave him this speech, angry enough that Astrid almost felt she should leave, citing responsibility and how a chief had to take care of himself before he could even think about keeping his people safe. Then he handed Hiccup a pair of gloves big enough to fit over his _head_.

Hiccup thought they were hilarious, of course, and was constantly putting them on Toothless's ear flaps and offering them to Astrid as a blanket. But she never really thought it was funny, she just wished he'd cut them down into gloves he'd actually wear.

She misses long day flights already, when the sun is bright and the wind is cold and she can see the wide, blue curve of the world out in front of her. When she's so far out from Berk that the only living creatures around are Thunderdrums breaking the surf and Toothless somewhere above her, above the clouds. She remembers the first few times Hiccup landed behind her house, windblown and bright eyed, tempting her away from un-chopped firewood with the promise of something amazing he glimpsed in the distance.

That feeling of ditching chores for adventure, at first so nerve-wracking and oddly grimy, became sort of a drug, and she relished in those heart pounding seconds of ascent as Stormfly soared upwards and her house disappeared behind the clouds. She's now sure her parents knew, Stormfly wasn't exactly quiet with her excitement, but it always felt so sneaky and _forbidden_. But then Stoick started talking about chief as a reality rather than a far off dream, Hiccup started straying farther with more purpose than curiosity, and she found herself stealing dirty socks to give Stormfly a strong enough scent to follow him.

Astrid jolts out of her thoughts when the bench beside her shifts, wet braid whipping against her pauldron as she too quickly turns to face the disruption. Of course it's Eret, wetter than she is and a little more attached to his mug of ale as he sits down with a seat's worth of space between them.

She almost ignores him, it's been definitely tense between them since her _outburst_ the other day.

She'd rather talk to someone. She didn't walk all the way down here to be alone.

"Get caught in the rain?" She asks, shifting a little to face him halfway, foot tapping against the floor in an unfamiliar rhythm.

"I live in the rain," he complains, taking a long draw from a waterskin around his shoulder. It's made of strange leather, not dragon and not yak, woven together with blue thread and sealed a light brown color. "What brings you out in the storm?"

"Cancelled date." She blurts before thinking, staring into the coals and drumming her fingers against the wooden table top.

"With Hiccup?" She grunts casual assent and glances back at his canteen, trying to mind meaning in the woven patterns. It really is beautiful, in a utilitarian sort of way, from somewhere so far away and so different. "If you want some, just ask."

"If I want some of what?" She glances at both of their full mugs, confused. He holds the waterskin towards her and she catches a whiff of something stronger, like the grain alcohol her father occasionally makes with any extra barley, but different somehow. Same essence under a flavor she doesn't recognize. "Oh. I was just looking at the leather. I haven't seen any like it before."

"Bought it off a trader down south," he explains, holding it in front of his face and examining it like he hasn't taken time to before now. "I was a little more interested in what's inside of it. I knew I was headed back North and wasn't going to take any chances about running out again."

"It's good to know your priorities," she smirks, turning a little further towards him, her knee pressed against the inner edge of the bench.

"It keeps you warm."

So would sleeves.

"What? Worried if you got cold one of your crew would try to warm you up?" She doesn't know why she's poking him, but it feels better than the silence. His scowl makes her feel anything but ineffective and she laughs.

"You joke, but you're on one of those ships for long enough…" He looks into the fire and she tries not to notice the way the orange glow of the coals catches every one of those pale crosshatched scars along his arms.

"Do you miss it?" The question doesn't feel loaded until his face twists slightly, and she remembers Stormfly wrapped in that net. "Not the dragon trapping, the sailing."

"Not yet. I haven't had a home base in a while," he takes another pointed sip from the waterskin. "But maybe I should've chosen somewhere that's not so bloody cold in the middle of summer."

"It's not cold if you don't let yourself get soaked," Astrid rolls her eyes and sips on her ale. "You should know that, unless-you're not from the South, are you?"

"No," he's properly insulted and she grins. "And I'd like to see you keep a dry camp site around here."

"You're camping?" It's one of those things Hiccup was talking about, something that no one ever had time to address. "Where's Skullcrusher?"

"I put him over in the stable when it started up."

"He must hate that," Astrid frowns, "he's never been a fan of crowds. He's—you know, if you wanted, you can put him in my family's barn with Stormfly. It might be a bit of a tight fit, but at least he likes Stormfly." The offer hangs on the air for a moment before Eret nods in awkward thanks, holding the waterskin towards her again.

"Are you sure you don't want any?"

Normally she'd really say no, she's never liked being too altered. It was something she discovered at a wedding when she was seventeen, and the headache the next morning wasn't worth the laughter the night before. A particularly stubborn scar winks at her from his upper arm and she accepts the canteen, sniffing one last time before taking a sip.

It's sweet on her tongue but goes down her throat like fire and she sputters, almost spitting it up before forcing it down with a cough. Eret laughs and thumps her back hard enough to make her cough more and she kicks his shin to get him to stop.

"That's…" she clears her throat, and the burn travels almost to her nose before subsiding. She laughs. "That's strong."

"It's not that strong."

"Stronger than what I'm used to," she submits, laughing again through her hoarse throat as he reaches down to cup his shin. "It was self-defense, I thought you were trying to start a fight."

"I'm smarter than _that_," he looks at her suspiciously. "If I've learned anything it's that Viking women are most terrifying when you can't see their weapon."

"Thank you," she laughs, oddly flattered, before the comment becomes odd. "What taught you that very specific lesson?"

"Aside from you?" He chuckles, "Ruffnut found my camp a couple of days ago. I woke up to her yelling at her brother about rope." Eret looks so genuinely terrified that Astrid has to laugh, taking a sip of her ale to try and calm her sore throat.

She can't tell what's funnier, Eret waking up absolutely terrified or Ruffnut stumbling upon him like serendipitous treasure. Astrid might have to take her up on another sleepover soon, if only to hear the other half of this story.

"She's crazy. Once you get to know her it's a good crazy, but she's still crazy."

"Get to know her?" He laughs, "I'd sooner go back to Drago."

"Really, she's not that bad," Astrid tries to be serious and fails. "She's just high strung…she was actually trying to get me to come talk to you the other night." She can't tell whether it's embarrassing or oddly _nice_ that he seems to know exactly what she's talking about. "But maybe my lack of weapon would have scared you."

Eret shakes his head, somewhere between wonderment and reluctant agreement and a boom of thunder sounds outside. Astrid really _really_ hopes Hiccup found shelter, even if it's not at home.

"Does the hall ever actually close?" He asks with a tired laugh. "Because I might end up spending the night."

"Stormfly's barn does have a loft," Astrid looks away, staring into her mug and almost hoping he doesn't hear her. "It's tiny and half full of grain sacks, but…if Skullcrusher is there anyway." What is she doing? Logically, she knows that this is the right thing to do. Hiccup asked her to keep an eye on him, and that's what she's doing, but something unfamiliar knots and trembles in the pit of her stomach. It just sounds wrong somehow, like he could think that it means more than it does. "Just because it's raining, I mean. Not because I'm hiding you from Ruffnut, because I wouldn't do that."

"You wouldn't?"

"No, it's too funny," she glances over his shoulder at the opening doors of the hall and Ruffnut slapping Snotlout upside the head on the way in because it looks like he insisted on holding the door. "Actually, look who's here now. Do you want me to go get her?" Astrid doesn't know why this is better than actually getting an answer about the loft, but it is and she stands halfway, swinging one leg over the bench. "Because I can go get her."

"One sip and you think you're hilarious," he scowls and grabs her forearm, tugging her back down. "And I'll take you up on the loft, if you're not going to let Ruffnut in during the night."

It's not as strange as Astrid feared and she nods, glancing between Eret and Ruffnut over his shoulder. She's stalking away from Snotlout, who's following like a sad kicked terror, and Astrid wonders if Meatlug is still sick and keeping Fishlegs out of the fray.

"Like I'd let her in my barn, I don't want anyone burning it down." She's suddenly acutely aware that his hand is still wrapped around her wrist and glances down. He lets go and she blames her flush on the fire being a bit too close, leaning away from the hearth.

"And that's just normal around here? You're friends with someone who might burn down your barn, and that's—that doesn't seem odd to you."

"Well, she's an extreme example," Astrid defends weakly, trying to find a way to explain the issue. She grins. "Vikings have stubbornness issues," the smile fades slightly, "that's what Hiccup says, anyway. It's true." Something in his face makes her think that he's not quite getting it and she continues, taking a pensive sip from her mug. "I realizes the other night, for example, that I gave Berk away because I was too stubborn to back away from Drago."

It's not the best example, or the lightest, but Eret doesn't back down, gray eyes still locked on her temple.

"You…you did." She likes the straightforward answer, as much as it's a stab to the chest. "But if it's any consolation, Drago would have found Berk anyway. He'd already followed that alpha to three nests when I met him, and Berk is practically a nest."

"Thanks for the effort," she frowns into her ale and taking another deep swill. It doesn't make her feel any better and she's not surprised. "But if I'd…listened to _you_, or kept my head down, that battle wouldn't have happened when it did and Stoick—"

"Counting if's will get _you_ killed."

"I'm just trying to make a point," Astrid snips, scooting away from him and drumming her fingers on the table. "Oh, and another thing. I think you need a new saddle."

"For Skullcrusher?" He sits up a little straighter, astounded enough that she looks away. "What's wrong with it?"

"It's too big, you're going to fall out of it."

"I haven't the slightest idea how to make a saddle."

"You don't have to, the forge can do it," she glances at him again before shrugging. "I helped with Stormfly's, I could help with yours if you wanted." Hiccup could have done this better and for the first time since she realized he wasn't coming, she wishes he were here. Not just with her, right here, at this table, helping her.

It's selfish.

Somehow, it's selfish to be thinking about Eret's saddle too.

"I'd appreciate it." He takes another sip out of the waterskin and she's half tempted to ask for more herself. "Who's the one following Ruffnut again?" Eret asks, furtively glancing at the Snotlout. Astrid doesn't know how Ruffnut hasn't spotted them yet, and guesses that it probably has something to do with her loud, whining tail. She can hear him from halfway across the giant room, prattling on about last year's Thawfest and how she needs to kiss his bicep for luck next time.

Whose luck, she's not sure, but experience makes her think it's probably Snotlout's.

"That's Snotlout, his dragon is—"

"Red Monstrous Nightmare, yeah."

"Hookfang," Astrid fills in the name, glancing at the boy and nearly wincing when Ruffnut makes astounded eye contact. "Thor's beard, she saw us. She's going to come over, there's nothing we can do now." But Snotlout sees them too, puffing out his chest and saying something with more bravado than is necessary, tone echoing wordlessly across the hall. Ruffnut groans her frustration to the ceiling, pounding on the counter with her fist, as Snotlout walks—struts—towards them.

Eret looks at her for a cue and she keeps her eyes trained on Snotlout, sitting back alarmed as the boy leans between them with his elbow on the hearth, ignoring Eret entirely to look at her.

"Astrid, let's talk favors."

"You're going to do me a favor?" She leans back from him a bit, quirking an eyebrow. Eret is still watching her, and it reminds her of when Hiccup used to be too shy to come over and he'd _study_ her from a distance. She doesn't like it now as much as she did then and it makes her want to be loud, noticeable. She wants to tell him to look anywhere else.

"I need you to talk to Ruffnut for me," he proposes, "and in return, I'll get this guy to leave you alone." Snotlout gestures to Eret, who laughs to himself. Probably at the prospect that Snotlout could get him to do anything at all.

"Why…" Hiccup used to do this. When the academy was behind them enough that he wasn't quite above Snotlout anymore but could still call upon the mandated control. He used to spin these tales and have the boy running all over the island. Snotlout wised up though and they stopped working, much to almost everyone's dismay. Astrid, however, never tried one of her own, and suddenly it seems like the best idea in the world. "Snotlout, Ruffnut doesn't want the kind of man who sends me to do his dirty work. She wants someone to woo her."

"Woo her? Astrid, this is Ruffnut." Snotlout tries to throw off her suggestion, but she plows forward anyway, shaking her head.

"It's time for a grand gesture. You're losing her, you need to do something to really show her that she should let _you_ protect and provide for her, not anyone else." Eret is confused, peeking at her around Snotlout, observing. She sits up straighter and keeps talking. "It's time to really bring out your best moves, so what are you going to do?"

Snotlout thinks for a moment.

"I already told her she should kiss my arms," he offers like it's the holy grail of solutions. Astrid idly wonders what would happen if Eret offered the same thing. She wishes Hiccup were here, again, to help her with this, to jump in with something clever and original. She hates that somehow wanting him around has become selfish, it doesn't seem like it should have to be so _wrong_.

"That's nothing. You have to really go out there, convince her that you're going to _be_ there for her, you know? You have to make her think about permanency and being your _princess_ forever," she has him at the nickname and he starts nodding along. All of this is hitting somewhere sensitive, jabbing at a bruise, and she tries to keep her voice down. "And then you have to stick with it, you have to let her know that you mean it, and that you're going to keep all those promises." He nods again, and she suddenly has it. "And I've got just the move. It's a real clincher, she'll have to take you seriously."

"What is it?" He leans forward a bit like it's a secret, and she almost gives him real advice for a split second. She almost tells him that there is no move, there's only every day as an opportunity to promise the same great things. She might actually be able to help him, but she's already on a selfish kick and she could use a laugh.

"Go outside and sweep up the rain." Eret jerks back, surprised, staring at her strangely. Snotlout is unconvinced.

"Sweep up the rain, that'll never work. What am I even going to sweep it into?"

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you try, do you get it?" He shakes his head and she fights a smile that feels _mean_ but is welcome none the less. That first grin after Gobber got Spitelout to do something embarrassing, still worried about disrespecting. "You've got to show her that you're the kind of guy who sticks with something even if it's hard, you've got to show her that you're committed to sweeping that rain, and she'll realize you can be that committed to her too."

He's partially convinced. Eret is curious and too comfortable and she turns the joke back around on him.

"Like if Eret were to go out and start sweeping the rain, I might even be interested." Snotlout is sold, glancing between them like he's worried about something for a second before shaking it off and stepping away, towards the door. He grabs a broom on his way out.

Eret is still looking at Astrid, smirking but not smug, and she pushes mostly dry bangs behind her ear, her own grin fading with the rush of her campaign.

"What?"

"What was that?"

"He's really annoying," she shrugs and he doesn't look convinced. "It's something Hiccup and I used to do, send him on weird pointless missions."

"Why'd you stop?" She smiles again.

"Because he caught on. Eventually." Astrid glimpses over at Ruffnut who's obviously curious at the counter and stands, downing the rest of her ale. "We should probably get Skullcrusher to the barn before it gets any worse. Let me go divert Ruffnut and tell her you'll be back at the same camp, cold and in the rain. Alone."

Astrid doesn't wait for an answer, walking a little too quickly over to Ruffnut and standing beside her.

"What's going on over _there_?" The female twin asks, watching Eret stand and carefully secure the lid to his waterskin. Astrid shrugs, because she's really not sure. She doesn't tell Ruffnut about Eret sleeping in her loft, and she's not sure if it's because she said she wouldn't, or there's something _wrong_ with the fact he's sleeping in her loft.

"Snotlout is sweeping the rain outside."

"What an idiot."

"Go punch him," Astrid suggests and Ruffnut mulls it over for a second before nodding.

There, that should be enough to make Snotlout trust her enough to go off on another one of her schemes. It's nice to have something to look forward to.

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**I've learned one thing for sure, I apparently, don't do short chapters. So sorry about that. **

**And I just wanted to throw a word of encouragement out there, I do respond to feedback and I do want to talk to you guys about this. I feel like I'm glancing along some territory that people might feel like arguing about and honestly, I'd love to. So log in and tell me what you think. **


	9. Cornered: Part 2

**Ok, I'm excited about this one. Be excited. **

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The worry sets in by morning and Astrid is out of bed early, knocking on Hiccup's door. She almost feels bad, leaving Eret in the loft, likely to deal with her mother first thing in the morning, but at least maybe his appearance can do double duty as her mom's birthday present this year. Valka opens the door and Astrid nearly jumps, because she really does look so much like Hiccup. It's in their eyes, in the bow of their nose and she realizes she's staring.

"Good morning, Astrid," Valka greets, a little wooden, and Astrid wonders if she's interrupting something. Hiccup's mother stares at her for a moment before turning around and walking away from the door, leaving it open behind her.

"Astrid?" Hiccup's voice echoes from up the stairs, and her heart leaps as he fumbles down the stairs a little too quickly and comes to stand in the open doorway. He looks better today, the dark circles under his eyes faded to pale freckles. "Good morning—what's wrong?" She can't tell whether to be relieved or furious anymore, because he realizes she's upset from looking at her and she's filled with the hope that the last week has just been an odd episode.

"You…" She wants to accuse him, but it feels wrong and she tugs herself back, slumping a bit and glancing past him at the mysteriously open back door of his house. "We were supposed to go flying yesterday."

"Oh gods," his face falls and he glances back at an open basket in the middle of his table. "That was yesterday, wasn't it? I got mixed up, I thought it was today." Astrid wants to be mad or disappointed but she's so happy that he didn't forget she steps forward and hugs him, squeezing too hard until he thumps on her back for relief.

"Did you get some sleep?" She kisses his cheek and pulls back, smiling when he waves her past him into the room. It's breezier than normal in his house and she finds she likes it, it feels like summer with all the windows thrown open and the eastern morning sun shining in through the open back door. "You look a little better."

"I don't think I've done anything but sleep. I'm getting too old for all-nighters, I'm still not recovered." He stretches dramatically and slouches into one of the wooden chairs, tugging the basket over beside him.

"You're too _old_? You sound like your _dad_." His lips twitch into an almost reluctant smile. "It's a compliment."

"So can you go today? Rolf gave me a few leftover tarts from the bakery yesterday, if you're interested." She peeks into the basket and licks her lips. The fruit is probably small and sour, because of the season, but it's been so long since she had any that wasn't dried.

"I'm interested," she sits down next to him and he smiles, obviously relieved. "I also needed to ask you something," he leans towards her, elbows on the edge of the table. "We should be done fixing houses in our zone by the end of this week, what do you want me to do next?" He sinks deeper into his seat, leaning back and tapping his metal foot against the floor.

"I—I'm getting another big building project going right now, so I don't know where I want you yet," he rubs his hand over his face and pales. "Can we not talk about it right now?"

"Sure, I wasn't trying to—"

"I managed to avoid bringing work home with me last night," he bends forward and rests his forehead on the table and she places her hand on his back.

"Sorry."

"It's ok." He sits back up and glances again at the tarts in the basket, face splitting into a hopeful grin. "Have you had breakfast? Do you want to split one of these?"

"Dessert for breakfast, being chief _does_ have its perks," she nods and punches his arm, feeling like a misbehaving child as he pulls out a hazelnut and green apple tart and places it on the table between them. She uses her dagger to cut it into equal quarters and raises one to her mouth, eyes fluttering shut when she takes a bite.

Sweets were never really her favorite as a child, she was far more likely to ask for a new weapon over a cake or a tart for her birthday. Hiccup has been an absolutely horrible influence, always saving his silver from working at the forge for trips to the bakery, because now she finds herself gravitating towards the sweeter side of town.

"You're so strict with yourself, Milady," he laughs at her blissful expression, nudging his knee against hers. "Have a tart every once in a while."

"I forget," she shrugs, taking a too big bite and holding her hand to her mouth to hold in a few crumbs that try to escape. "Plus, you usually remind me, Mr. Busy."

"I am busy, I'm so busy," he complains, looking out of the door, probably for Toothless, judging by his expression.

"You know, I meant what I said when I offered to fly Toothless for you. Just…if you ever need it." He shrugs and picks a slice of sugared apple from his breakfast and chewing on it slowly.

"I…if I get to the point where I can't ride Toothless, that means it's really out of control, I'm trying to keep it from getting that far."

"Is there anything else I can do?" She picks up her second slice of tart and nibbles around the crust. "Aside from reminding you when we have plans?" He snorts.

"No, you're alright. Really." He chews for a moment, before smiling earnestly at her. "And I'm sorry about yesterday, I legitimately thought it was today."

"Maybe it's good, the weather was horrible," she briefly wonders if Eret has found his way out of the barn loft yet. "Unless you went out in that."

"I was at home sleeping," he laughs. "Too bad, I love a good stormy flight—Ouch." He winces as she punches him in the side. "Ha, you missed," he points at the untouched button on his flight suit and she cocks her fist.

"Want me to try again?"

"Maybe you need to try from a bit closer," he tugs her closer by the point of her shoulder and she sets her tart aside, laughing as his hand slides up to cup the back of her neck.

"That's probably good advice," she laughs and rubs her nose across his, her hand landing against his knee for support.

"It's great advice," he mumbles, lips glancing ticklish across her own.

"Oh!" Hiccup jerks upright and reveals Valka standing in the back doorway and Astrid fixes her bangs with a deep blush.

"Uh…hi, mom." He laughs and takes a bite of the tart to distract himself from the embarrassment.

"Dessert for breakfast?" Valka asks him, sneaking an odd sidelong glance at Astrid and walking up to ruffle her son's hair.

"Oh no, did I stunt my growth?" Hiccup looks down at his narrow torso and Valka laughs, shaking her head fondly. Astrid realizes what Hiccup must have felt like around her and Stoick the last few years, the absolute odd man out. "Do you want the rest of this?" He shoves the last quarter of the tart across the table and Astrid reluctantly shakes her head.

"No, I should probably get going anyway. But thanks for breakfast," she stands and dabbles for half a second before leaning down and kissing his cheek. Valka is still looking at her strangely and she starts walking backwards towards the door. "But I'll see you later, Toothless's cove at sunset?"

"Oh, you should have told me, I was planning on making dinner," Valka interjects and Hiccup sits up straight.

"Oh. You were?" He looks at Astrid for an answer, obviously torn. "Astrid and I uh…we're planning on going on a flight later…"

He furrows his eyebrows and this is obviously hard for him. Valka looks at Astrid almost hopefully, still slightly strange, but definitely searching and Astrid bites back her disappointed sigh. She hates feeling like a duty, and the last thing she wants to do is keep him from his mother.

"No, Hiccup, it's fine. We can reschedule for the next time you get leftover tarts," she offers and he looks torn between shame and something happy. "Go fly with your mom, we can go some other time anyway. I think my mom is making yak stew tonight anyway…" she trails off, and this is where she'd normally ask him over for dinner.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course." She forces a smile and it's natural enough that he buys it. "I'll see you later, tell me when you're available next, ok?"

"You're the best," he grins and waves as she walks the rest of the way outside and greets Toothless and Stormfly where they're chattering by the corner of the lodge. She can't remember when being the best felt worse.

00000

Astrid hunches a little closer to the parchment and pushes her hair behind her ear, smoothing a rougher line on their second design with the end of her writing stick. She never really thought of drawing as something she legitimately enjoyed, more something she did with Hiccup, but there's something refreshing about sketching out saddles, methodical and easy paced. Eret leans in to see what she's doing and frowns, expression so close to her cheek it's nearly painful and she shifts away, leaning on her far elbow. Her braid falls over her shoulder and tickles his cheek, dragging against the charcoal drawing.

Her entire face might as well be on fire when he pushes the blonde away from the drawing and tucks it back over her shoulder.

"What's going on with this one?" Eret points to the third small tiled drawing, a saddle with a second girth protruding from its very back end.

"The second strap gives you more maneuverability without the saddle shifting," she explains, darkening the second strap and leaning a little further away so that he can see the modification. His eyes flick so quickly to her face and she swallows, pushing her bangs behind her ear yet again and promising herself that she'll cut them later.

"It's not like Skullcrusher cuts corners tightly anyway," Eret mumbles in a way that makes her lean closer and he glances at her again. She wants to glare at him and tell him to keep his eyes on the paper, but it feels too forward somehow. She deeply regrets lying down on her stomach to do this. She should have stayed sitting up.

"But if you're carrying something heavy and leaning to signal him to turn, it'll help," she reaches across the paper, nearly twitching away from sidelong contact with his hand before clenching her jaw and leaving her elbow where it is. She has to stop flinching away from him like he's going to bite her. It's ridiculous. She nearly lost their spar earlier, she was so caught up in the strange warmth radiating from his chokehold.

His finger traces the two girthed drawing, barely grazing her arm and she grits her teeth, holding her ground.

"Oh?" He's being quiet again and she leans sideways just enough to show she's still listening, avoiding eye contact and aimlessly doodling a Nadder saddle Hiccup was always talking about but never got around to finishing on the corner of the page. The girth she drew must be deeply fascinating, because he's still messing with it, tickling her arm.

She yanks her hand back to fix the smudges he's likely making and her fingers glance across his. He holds his ground and she does the same, darkening the slightly blurred line and idly shading the back of the saddle's seat.

"It's…you don't really notice it now, but you can really steer them by leaning. But apparently, if your saddle is too big, it's not as noticeable. It happens a lot with kids trying to borrow their parents' dragons…" she trails off and flinches her hand away from his, shooting him a too mild glare over her shoulder. "So you're basically a kid trying to ride some adult's dragon."

"Is that Hiccup's theory? About the steering?" There's something in the way he says Hiccup's name, something oddly reverent in a way that reminds her he hasn't been here long and he doesn't know about Hiccup the Useless. Not that she's going to betray Hiccup's trust and hand out that story or anything, especially to Eret of all people.

"Actually, I think Fishlegs figured it out. Hiccup's saddle is so different from everyone else's that it wasn't really something he had experience with."

Eret smiles, cocky and again too close. Astrid stands her ground.

"Have you seen much of Hiccup lately?"

"What kind of question is that?" She resists the prevalent urge to punch him for asking something like that with that _smirk_ all over his face.

"Just a question. I'm wondering if he ever made up your cancelled date."

"How is that any of your business?" She hates that he's asking more than she hates the answer. Of course she could just tell him she had breakfast with Hiccup this morning, but she definitely doesn't owe Eret that explanation.

"It's not."

"And of course I've seen him. He's all around the village all day, he flew over us at least three times this morning. You're not an observant one, are you?"

"That's not what I meant," he clarifies quietly again. She leans in, expecting to catch some returning insult under his breath that she can really hit him for.

He kisses her.

At first, she doesn't even know if she'd call it a kiss, it's so unfamiliar against her lips. Eret's lips aren't as chapped as Hiccup's always seem to be and they're more determined than she's used to, asking something silent of hers with a forceful embrace. His hand cups her chin after a few seemingly infinite seconds and holds her close as his mouth starts to move on hers with shocking insistence.

She doesn't mean to follow its lead, a little unsure of how she's cornered but sure that she is, a little beyond confused. It's not…it's not what she's used to, and that makes her curious. It's strange and new and different, and his tongue feels almost too practiced when it swipes along her lower lip and she gasps, unintentionally letting it in.

Astrid doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't know how to respond, and she doesn't know why she cares or why she's here.

This absolutely lacks the click that she's used to, even if it's warm and pleasant and more than anyone has touched her since Hiccup became chief. But that's a crappy reason to kiss someone, isn't it? She'd rather it were Hiccup anyway. When Hiccup kisses her she feels it, deep in her chest, in her fingers and toes and dizzy head.

Eret nips her lip a little firmly, a little insistently, and it snaps her out of docile.

She didn't even kiss him. He kissed _her_.

He kissed her and she's still kissing him. His hand is sliding down the side of her neck and pulling her closer to him, firm and persistent and _strange_. It's a trap and she's cornered, but she can't find the way out, she's not clawing at the bars.

What the _Hel_ is she doing?

It hits her that her hand ended up on his shoulder and she doesn't remember putting it there, and his tongue feels like an invasion in her mouth, a visitor who won't leave. This isn't Hiccup, and she's kissing him but he kissed her first and he didn't even _ask_.

She pulls back just enough to build momentum and head butts him, reeling backwards and shoulder rolling to her feet as soon as she hears an oddly satisfying crack. The pain stings her forehead a moment later and she wipes a cross hand across the spot, glaring down at him. He's cupping a hand over his nose and it's bleeding down his chin, red running bizarrely over blue in cattycorner lines and dripping down onto the parchment. The double girth drawing is ruined, but Astrid is too furious to recognize the loss.

"What the Hel?" She starts to pace, holding her head as it starts to throb in earnest. "What were you thinking? Kissing me like that? You son-of-a-stinking—"

"I read all the signals!" He complains over her swear, kneeling and leaning forward to let a shockingly large gush of blood flow from his nose and onto the grass. "I think it's broken—"

"What was _I_ thinking?" The horror of the moment hits full force and she cradles her head in her hands, tugging on her hair.

"You broke my nose—"

"You deserve it!" She shrieks, voice transcending into some shrill plain. "What were you doing? What—Oh come on, I didn't hit you that hard."

"I wasn't prepared for it," he complains, forehead going pale and sweaty as he picks up the parchment in an attempt to wipe up some of the blood. It doesn't work. "It's really broken."

"What? Is it going to ruin your striking-ass profile? Because I think your skills with the ladies will be just fine, the way you walk around half hanging out of your shirt—"

"What are you talking about, you daft, crazy woman?"

"Crazy?" She nearly shrieks, hand not tight against her throbbing forehead fisting and un-fisting as she thinks about all the ways she could punch him. She wants to punch him.

She wants to get out of here.

"Yes, crazy. That's not exactly normal kissing behavior—"

"Well, I didn't want to kiss you!"

"You fooled me!"

"I—" She screams frustration through her teeth. "No." She deflates slightly, head throbbing and overtaking the anger with miserable confusion. "No, I'm not—"

Astrid hisses one last time through her teeth stalks over to the alarmed looking Stormfly perched on the other edge of the clearing. She swings her leg over the Nadder before the dragon even has time to stand and they take off without another word.

00000

**Woo! Are you still excited. I'm still excited. **

**No, not actually, that was awkward and sad. **


	10. Shaken

**So I left y'all on a cliff hanger after the best response I could have asked for. Almost forty reviews? Give yourselves a high five, thank you. **

00000

"Astrid?" She jerks her head up to the direct address and from her mother's face, it looks like she's been trying a few minutes. "Are you really alright?"

"Fine," Astrid shakes her head and lowers the ice block back to her lap, hand shivering with the cold. "Why do you ask?"

"Your father has been trying to ask you something," Astrid looks over at her dad, who looks equally concerned, and her eyes itch. She's a mess. Her head hurts.

She feels like she took Stoick's one piece of horrible advice and head-butted a boulder.

"What, dad?" She rubs her eye and stares through her father more than looking at him.

"If you're feeling up to it," her father prefaces the question and she sits up straighter, taking it as a hint to pull herself together. "Can you go down to the forge and pick up my sword from Gobber? It's already paid for."

"Sword?" She stands and brushes non-existent crumbs from her skirt, walking to the door like she's in a trance and barely pausing to ruffle Dagny's hair on the way to the door. "I'll be right back."

Stormfly follows her on her walk to the village, fussing with her braid and nudging a kind beak against her cheek, crooning when Astrid pushes the gesture away. It's not like she really deserves the comfort, she did this to herself. Whatever this is.

Eret kissed her. Eret kissed her and she thought about it before she pushed him off. Eret kissed her and Hiccup doesn't know, she was too cowardly to go tell him. Hiccup isn't the last person to kiss her and it feels like absolute shit.

If she were actually brave, she'd go tell him. But what would she even say? 'Hey Hiccup, so Eret kissed me and I didn't break his nose right away. I mean, I did break his nose, but it wasn't the quickest nose break of my life. Oh yeah, he totally had his tongue down my throat.'

She wants to talk to someone about this, figure out the mess in her head. She doesn't know how to talk to anyone but Hiccup. Is it really so bad to want him? To want an hour of his attention to sit down and talk through why she's feeling like this, that she really wishes it were him kissing her? How did she get to this point where a few weeks of silence is enough to break her down this far?

She slumps up to the forge and leans against the counter, drumming her fingers on the wood and leaning idly into Stormfly's beak this time when the Nadder nudges helpfully at her shoulder. Gobber spies her after a moment and walks over, grinning under his soot covered moustache.

"And wot can I do fer you, lassie?"

"Hey Gobber, I'm just here to pick up my dad's sword?" She shrugs when he smiles at her, even knowing at the time that it's not the most eloquent response. "He said it was already paid for."

"That it is," Gobber shoots her one last look before walking away to sift through a rack of shiny, sharp weapons, pulling out a long gleaming sword and setting it on the counter between them. Astrid reaches out for it but the man yanks it away, looking at her curiously. "What's wrong? Looks like someone kicked yer dragon."

Stormfly squawks, obviously offended.

"Nothing, just a long day," she sighs, reaching again for the sword and giving it a tug. Gobber holds fast. "Really, I'm fine."

"Ye don' look fine."

"I'm fine, Gobber, give me the sword."

"How are ye holdin' up, Astrid? Really?" The man's voice dips and he leans forward a bit. He's not asking about today, or this week, he's asking about Stoick. Astrid gulps and remembers those spare but necessary times in the last year or so when Stoick went to bed early and she and Gobber killed their buzzes talking about the chief and how he was looking old. She understood in those moments why Hiccup had always been so comfortable with the man, and the feeling really hasn't faded.

"I'm—Not great." Gobber nods and she flaps her mouth a couple of times before continuing, leaning a little closer across the counter. "And Hiccup is a mess, I don't know why, and he's so busy and he's not sleeping and—Stoick would know how to deal with him. I don't."

"He hasn't been sleepin'?" Astrid shakes her head. "Thanks fer keepin' an eye on 'im."

"Of course. And I'm trying to get more responsibility but…" She leans forward and rakes her hands through her hair, the truth bubbling in the back of her throat almost painfully. "He asked me to help out with Eret, and Skullcrusher, and I've been doing it and—" Gobber waves her forward, perplexed. It's not quite as good as talking to Hiccup, not as refreshing, but it's better than nothing. Better than the _silence_. "Eret kissed me today."

Gobber stands up straight and forgets about the sword. He looks at her for a second, incredulous before grabbing his stomach with a hook hand and laughing heartily.

"He did, did he? How'd that work out for 'im? How many teeth is he missin'?" A few people start staring and Astrid leans closer with a hiss.

"Not so loud—"

"No, really. Did ye have yer axe with ye? Please tell me ye didn't chop off a hand? Because that's a Hel of a story to stick a guy with—"

"I broke his nose." She allows herself a small smile, "my head still hurts from the hit, honestly. It was a good one."

"Then what're ye so cut up about lassie? Hiccup gave ye some responsibility, ye'll be able to get more. Ye got to headbutt somebody, sounds like a good week." Gobber casually hands her the hilt of the sword but she doesn't quite pick it up yet, resting it on the table and examining the gleaming runes faded against the blade.

"I—I've headbutted things more quickly in my life. It was _sluggish_."

"Ah," Gobber leans forward, and she trusts him to keep her secret somehow. She wonders just how many times Hiccup talked to him about her, back when he was staring and she was pretending not to notice. Not that he was ever particularly secretive about it. "So ye took yer time thinkin' about it?"

She shrugs. She scrapes her fingernails across the wood, picking up a long dry splinter and breaking it in half.

"He's been listening some. I think—I thought we were friends, you know? I—he likes hearing about Stoick. He's new and he doesn't know all the stories yet and he let me talk and—It _was_ making me feel better, and…"

"Astrid?" Gobber sighs like he's thinking hard about what he has to say. "Ye broke the guy's nose. That's slammin' the door in 'is face, if he's smart, and he wouldn't be gettin' on with Skullcrusher so well if he were half as dumb as he looks…And Astrid. This part isn't exactly fatherly advice, but we all look in doors that aren't ours occasionally. It's human nature."

"He _kissed_ me—"

"And it's never goin' te happen again." Gobber doesn't say it like a warning, it's a fact. Gobber is right.

Gobber is right.

She's less confused and more exhausted.

"Because if I wanted to kiss him, I would have done it, I wouldn't have broken his nose." Astrid shakes her head and stands up straight, running a hand through her hair as the sword starts to feel heavy on her wrist. "You're absolutely right. But…but I broke his nose."

"Ye said that."

"We were friends."

"Stoick broke my nose once, when we were…sixteen? 'E thought I was lookin' at 'is girl." Astrid manages a small smile.

"Thanks, Gobber."

00000

Eret is at the half-constructed house before Astrid, and she stops near the edge of the trees, knees clenched and trembling on either side of Stormfly's flank as she contemplates flying off. Hiccup used to do that all the time, wake up in the morning and just decide to disappear. She used to feel the need to lecture him about not telling anyone, but at this moment, she envies his spontaneity.

Well, he can't run anymore either, can he?

Astrid nudges the Nadder forward and slides off to walk beside her, chewing on her lip and exhaling like this is a training exercise. Eret's nose looks worse up close, black and purple and swollen, spreading across his face with two generous black eyes. Her forehead gives a sympathetic throb and she rubs the spot, which is still a little swollen even after some time with an ice block the night before.

He looks up before she gets there, raising his eyebrows before flinching and settling into some mild, restricted form of surprise. He didn't think she'd be here, he thought she'd avoid him. There's a strange thrill in proving him wrong and she stands up a little straighter, exhaling through her nose.

Skullcrusher addresses her first, nosing against her hip, and she reaches out to stroke behind his horn, keeping insistent eye contact with the Rumblehorn while she struggles to collect her thoughts. She wants to apologize for the nose, she wants to tell him that she didn't actually want to be kissed and she really didn't mean to go along with it for so long.

She doesn't want him to start being silent with her too, doesn't want to lose the companionable presence she's just started to get used to.

"Friends?" She turns to him after a moment, right hand extended his direction.

"Friends? Just like that?" His expressions are impossible to read, the bruise keeping them restricted and tamed. She nods and holds her hand a little higher.

"If you want."

He deliberates, it seems like he wants to say something but she can't imagine what. Probably something that'll hurt, something that means another night with Ruffnut, listening to how the other girl's life is starting to take off right when it feels like hers is slowing down.

He shakes her hand with a single definitive pump and she grins.

"Friends then," he agrees and she takes a tentative step forward, standing on tiptoes to examine his nose.

"And I'm…I'm sorry about the nose," she shrugs and sinks back to her heels, waiting for him. "And now you apologize for _kissing_ me and we're alright."

"Apologize for kissing you?" He crosses his arms and shakes his head. "That is entirely your fault."

"What? How is it my fault that you kissed me?" Even just a day from the event it feels strange, a dream she once had but didn't quite remember.

"I thought you wanted me to."

"You being an idiot isn't my fault." She cocks her hip and flicks her hair out of her eyes, glaring up at him. He gestures towards her with a broad flourish.

"There. You're always doing stuff like that."

"Stuff like what?" Astrid looks down at herself, seeing the perfectly demure spiked skirt and leggings that she put on that morning. "What could you possibly be talking about?"

"Stuff like this," Eret demonstrates, dramatically shifting weight to one leg and flicking his head to the side. "And you're looking right at me, that's practically an invitation."

"An invitation?" She almost slides into the familiar defensive position, but her hips feel cemented into place. She clears her throat and ignores the too long hair flirting with the top line of her vision, trying again. "It's just a way of standing. It's not an invitation to anything."

"And you went all pink when I first talked to you," he accuses her, like the two things have anything to do with each other.

"No I didn't."

"You're doing it now," that smug grin is apparently still possible even with the nose and Astrid glowers at him, wiping a hand across her cheek like she can brush the pigment away.

"No—That doesn't mean anything."

"You kept touching me while we were spar—"

"Because we were sparring!" Stormfly gets concerned about the noise and peeks her huge head over Astrid's shoulder as if checking to see if the conversation needs to end. Astrid nudges her out of the way and steps forward. "Was I supposed to magically win without touching you?"

"After though, with the axe and adjusting how I was holding it, even though I was right the first time."

"What? You think you were right the first time? You were going to take off a toe or ten."

"You barely moved me, you just took your time touching my arm."

"It's a _delicate_ motion," she insists, and something in the back of her head tells her that's not helping. "And you were holding it like a complete idiot."

"In the hall when you said you'd be interested if I swept the rain?" He sputters like something is obvious and Astrid scoffs.

"It was a prank."

"Not to mention yesterday when you were pressing your arm against my hand."

"What kind of bizarre world do you live in? I was trying to draw and you wouldn't get out of the way." Astrid recounts yesterday's fuzzy incident carefully to herself, nodding as everything is just how she remembers it. He wouldn't move. "And then you started stroking me trying to get me to give ground."

His smirk melts and he scratches his head.

"You…you actually didn't realize, did you?"

"Realize what?"

"That you were flirting with me."

Astrid's jaw drops, gob smacked and offended in equal parts.

"I was not flirting with you."

"How do you women flirt then? Punch a bloke to take him to bed?" He mocks and she cocks her head. "You actually do don't you. That's not even a joke to you—Oh, this is rich!"

"I was not flirting with you," Astrid is angry like those times when Hiccup is too busy laughing to let her in on the rest of the joke. "Oh Hel, I did kidnap you," she shakes her head and starts to pace.

"That's flirting? How is that flirting? This place is insane—"

"I _never_ flirted with you." She amends, crossing her arms.

"Apparently not on purpose…"And he looks at her like she's naïve and young and _stupid_, giving her no choice but the offense.

"Well, you liked it," she accuses him, crossing her arms and raising furious eyebrows.

"Of course I liked it, look at you," he gestures towards and she looks down again, expecting to see something on her shirt.

"What about me?"

"You're gorgeous." It's more fact than compliment and Astrid sets her jaw, more than a little awkward under the obvious praise that doesn't have anything to do with her actions.

"It wasn't on purpose," she stops to pet Skullcrusher's interested head and looks up at Eret furtively, sighing through her teeth. "I was trying _not_ to."

"What?"

She has to say, shock is better than that smirk.

"Well, look at _you_."

"I know, that's why it made sense that you were flirting." And his matter of fact tone is so close to Hiccup's deadpan sarcasm that it takes her a minute to establish that he is, in fact, serious.

"You're so full of yourself."

"I'm realistic," he insists and the smirk is back, and it's suddenly clear why he got away with it for so long the day before. He's so far from Hiccup that they couldn't possibly do the same things, kissing them possibly couldn't compare. It's so impossibly different that it didn't feel wrong until it fizzled entirely.

"It doesn't make sense for me to flirt with you. I'm with Hiccup. I've been with Hiccup for years," she cradles her head in her hands. "But you didn't know that because he—we—I don't know what I was thinking. I just let it happen, and I didn't want it and this is—no. Friends."

"Then, pray tell, why did you even have an inclination?" He's so smug and it's not appealing anymore, it's not confusing or scintillating or interesting. It's all very clear.

"Hiccup is busy," he looks at her like he's not buying it and she forces the rest of the reasoning out through clenched teeth. "And I miss him—"

"And you were looking for someone to fill the time?" Eret accuses her and for a millisecond it looks like he might be affected somewhere deep below the broken nose.

"I was a little fixated on your arms." She blurts it out, reaching up and yanking on the end of her braid, frustrated. "Hiccup has been busy and I started staring and—Oh." Astrid stops short, arms falling limply to her sides.

"Oh?" He's cocky, still taunting, but for only a moment before what she admitted seems to fully hit him too. "Oh."

"Yeah," she fidgets awkwardly with the hem of her skirt, stepping back from him and glancing over her shoulder towards Stormfly. She wants to run again. She thinks she might actually go through with it this time as all of these feelings start to make absolute horrible sense. It's…her issue here is _physical_. "This…" she glances at him again and sets her jaw before stepping forward. Hoffersons do not run, even from themselves. "Friends. And we should probably get to work. And no more of _this_."

"No more of what?"

"Flirting. For either of us." She thinks for a minute before holding out her hand. "Shake on it, no more flirting."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious, shake my hand. No more flirting."

He shakes, even if it doesn't wipe the smirk off of his face. But it's enough, it's sealed.

"Alright then, boss." There's far too much saunter in his gait as he walks back towards his saddle, but she finds herself looking away without the same sense of confusion.

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**So, this didn't come out how I expected at all. Apparently, this just needed some Gobber. A nice nice dose of Gobber. **

**Also, for those of you asking, this story doesn't have anything to do with Fester. If you haven't read Fester, and you want a good cry, you should give it a try. I see it as Hiccstrid, but the world doesn't seem to agree…**


	11. Told

**So this fell out of my brain in one sitting…**

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Oh, yes. Actual privacy.

Astrid pins him against the trunk of the tree behind him, one hand nesting in his hair cushioning his head from the bark as she crashes her mouth to his, swallowing his shocked laugh. She stumbles over his foot and presses her chest hard into his, nipping at his lip and taking advantage of his gasp.

"What has gotten into you?" Hiccup laughs, hands gripping at her waist and tugging her gently against him. She kisses him again, rough, needy. It's been too long since they were alone, far too long, and she's going to take advantage of what time they have before they get interrupted again.

"Less talking, Hiccup." She grabs his wrist and slides his hand down to her ass. He raises an eyebrow and squeezes, hand carefully settled between spikes as he ducks down to smile against her lips, but it's too slow, too cautious. She hikes her thigh over his hip and leans harder, nibbling down his jaw and scrambling for the buckles of his armor.

"Whoa," he catches her hand and pulls it away from the stupid complicated clasp, intertwining his fingers with his. "Didn't you have something—ah, important to tell me?" He stutters when she nips the side of his neck, soothing the red skin with her tongue.

"I got distracted, you look really good today." And it's true, she doesn't know whether it's the obvious bed head or the way he stumbled out of his house with an open grin and the promise of an hour of his time, but whatever it is absolutely works. It feels too good to have _his_ lips against hers again, sending tingles through to her toes, and she grips his stubble-rough chin to hold him still long enough to persuade him limp between her and the tree.

"It's my _I escaped my mother's cooking this morning_ look. I'm glad you like it," she pulls away, temporarily distracted and he tucks her hair behind her ear.

"You _escaped_ your mother's cooking?"

"I didn't know fish could taste like that," he shakes his head like he's trying to forget something horrible and she rests her forehead against his shoulder. "I was leaving early this morning to get breakfast at the hall, I couldn't face more charred floppy fish skin this early in the morning." Astrid laughs and wraps her arms around his lower back, arm wrappings protecting her from the rough bark of the tree he's still pressed up against.

"I'm sorry."

"Seriously, I'm going to end up even skinnier."

"You can always come by for dinner, you know." Astrid stands up enough to look at him, kissing his cheek. "My mom wouldn't mind at all, she already misses having you around, the front door is starting to stick again."

"I see, you're going to feed me in exchange for my handyman services."

"No, that's what my mom is doing," she laughs and leans against him, smile faltering slightly. "I just want you to take care of yourself."

She has to tell him. She absolutely has to tell him, no matter how much more she wants to have her way with him against the tree, she has to tell him. He pushes back on her shoulders to look her in the eye, almost serious.

"Astrid, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me so much."

"I just assumed…when I heard about _chief_ I thought I'd be helping you more. I didn't ever want you to have to do it all by yourself, I thought—" He holds her away from him entirely and steps out from between her and the tree, pacing the clearing in a small, tight lap.

"I'm handling it, Astrid, really." He's almost stomping, and it makes her mad somehow, the bold-faced insistence that everything is fine and she's being a _problem_. Maybe she is a problem.

He gave her one job and she messed it up this much.

She has to tell him. Gobber is probably right, it's probably funny. It's going to be one of those _typical Astrid_ moments that they'll laugh about years from now, like the time she accidently snapped Tuffnut's pinky while arm wrestling. It's...

But is Gobber really right? Does it matter that she broke Eret's nose, or does it matter that it took her a moment? It definitely matters that she hasn't told Hiccup yet. That little detail is definitely important.

"I—I didn't say you weren't handling it," she swallows hard and turns to face him, crossing her arms. "But about…about that important thing I had to tell you—"

"Oh! Right!" He snaps out of his sulk and turns toward her, arms already waving animatedly in front of him. "I had something important to tell you too, I've been thinking about that cliff and I actually already got some gronckles over there, Fishlegs is getting the project started. It's going to be—I'm really really excited about it—"

"Eret kissed me."

"—but I'm having an issue deciding whether it should be freestanding or part of the mountain, part of the mountain makes the detail harder, apparently, according to the masons, but it's going to be more stable if it's all still connected." It doesn't appear that he heard her, and that makes her mad somehow, like she's less loud than a project he hasn't even told her about in his head. He used to tell her everything, and now Fishlegs knows about this before her. "I think it's going to be really—I've been looking for something that feels like it's honoring him and I think that this is finally it."

"Then I broke Eret's nose." She throws it out there, almost fishing for the admonishment that she definitely deserves.

"Oh! And mom even said that she's seen some places on the mainland that stain their rock somehow, with plants an dyes. Maybe sometimes this summer after everything settles down we can go—well, me and her—and figure out how they do it. It'd be a couple of weeks, at least, and I'm already getting excited. She's not used to the people yet and I think it'd really help to get away from all of _this_," he gestures to the space in front of him. Between them. Astrid's heart drops to her stomach.

Maybe he doesn't care. Maybe he doesn't care about Eret at all and he gave it to her to keep her _busy_.

"Did you hear what I just said?" She cuts off another stream of babble that's not making any sense and he stares at her, hands frozen in mid-air.

"You broke Eret's nose?" He frowns as if it's sinking in and deflates a little bit. "Why—I—No, I trust your judgment, I'm sure he deserved it. Anyway, I'm sort of stuck on how to finish this thing off—"

"You don't care why? You've literally given me one job, to make sure that Eret is acclimating alright, and I go and break his nose and you don't care why?"

That's it, isn't it? It's all…to make _her_ happy, he gave her some job to make her feel like she's helping instead of giving her something important. He trusts Eret with Skullcrusher more than he trusts her with an actual, important task. Is it because he's chief now, dealing with everything she's never seen? It probably makes her seem silly, stupid even, to think that she could help him.

Not to mention that he has other people to talk to now. It's not just her anymore, not just them.

"Come on, you breaking someone's nose is practically the Berkian welcome mat. He's a member of the family, now." Hiccup grins like he can't tell what's going on inside her head. He probably can't.

Or he just doesn't _want _to.

"I told you why. I thought you'd care."

"Seriously, Astrid, I trust you." He steps forward and rests a hand on her shoulder. "And Skullcrusher likes it when you hit people, he always has."

"Skullcrusher actually likes Eret. They're getting along, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Of course, I—"

"And you never actually told me what this project _is_, only that half of the town already knows about it." His eyes light up and he steps away again, visualizing something behind her, like she's in the way of his thought process.

"Oh! Right, I just got excited, I guess, but it's this giant statue of my dad carved out of the cliff face. It's granite, so it's hard enough to carve, but the gronkles can handle the big chunks, and it's coming along. I think it's going to be really…great once we get done with it. It'll look out over the whole village."

She swallows hard.

"That's great Hiccup. It sounds like you've really got it thought out…but why—why didn't you tell me about it?"

He laughs.

"It all sort of came together at once, and I didn't really need your help with it and—"

"You didn't want to tell me about it?"

"It's still a secret for most of the village, you know? I think it'll be nice to see what it's turning into over time."

"Most of the village?" She's lumped with _most of the village_? "So it's a secret giant statue?"

"Er…exactly?" And she knows that face, the face that says he has no idea what he did wrong but he's starting to catch on that she's mad. "Astrid, is something going on that you haven't told me about?"

"That's the thing though. I did tell you about it, I just told you about it and you weren't interested. Apparently."

"Is it about you breaking Eret's nose? As long as he's not—"

"As long as he's not what, Hiccup?"

"Ok…" he slides his hand down towards her waist and she steps out of his reach, shaking her head. "I said something, I don't know what I said, but I'm sorry."

"So you don't even want to know what you said?"

"You keep twisting around everything I'm saying," he starts pacing again. "Why can't you just say it again, whatever it is, I missed it, I'm sorry, I—"

"Eret kissed me."

"What?" He stops, and she barely remembers the last time she had this much of his focus. She wishes she were still blabbing about the statue. She wishes she knew everything about the statue, that he'd taken the time to tell her about it like he used to tell her about everything.

"So you heard me this time?"

"He _what_?"

"I thought you trusted my judgment? Breaking his nose _wasn't_ exactly laying out the welcome mat this time," she shakes her head and starts walking back towards Stormfly. Hiccup jogs up alongside her, confused and uncouth.

"But—"

"But what, Hiccup? I handled it, I just thought you might want to know—"

"That's the last thing I want to know! I gave him Skullcrusher and—"

"And they're really starting to get along, Hiccup. You'd be happy for Skullcrusher, it's not your dad, but he still has Stormfly around and me and _Eret_."

"I thought I was giving you something _manageable_ to do, and then _this_ happens."

"I never said it wasn't manageable. We're managing fine." She stops and turns to him completely, sighing and looking down at their feet. "Look, I got it figured out. We're friends, and he was just…He's not used to Vikings, or the way that we _do_ things and we talked about it and we're fine. We're just friends. But I didn't want to keep it a secret from you."

"You're going to keep seeing him?"

"We're _friends_, Hiccup," she looks at him and likes the hurt tinge in his green eyes a little too much. It's far enough from apathy to be comforting in and of itself.

"And that's what got into you this morning!" He takes a step back. "That's why you practically _jumped_ me—"

"Oh come on, I've wanted to jump you for weeks. I jumped you because we had two minutes of privacy—"

"You were comparing me to _Eret_—"

"Eww," she shakes her head, more disgusted than she could have realized. "No. That's…ugh."

"So let me get this absolutely straight," he stares at her, enumerating on slightly shaking fingers. "Eret kissed you and you broke his nose."

She pushes her bangs off of her forehead entirely, revealing the slightly green bruise in the middle of her forehead.

"With my head. His nose is made of stone, I practically have a concussion."

"I—why would he think about that? Why would he even _do_ that?"

Astrid frowns at the question, at the direction of his thoughts.

"Why would he kiss me?"

"It doesn't make any sense."

"It doesn't make any sense that someone would kiss me?"

"Exactly!" And he's pacing again, wiping his hands on the sides of his pants. "He was there, he saw us kiss after the battle, he should _know_—"

"Wait, that was—You do realize you haven't done that since, don't you? That I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen you? That I don't even know how you're doing as chief, or how—We used to talk about everything."

"I'm _busy_, Astrid, I barely have time to sleep—"

"Then let me help you, let me do something that you need done. You can trust me—"

"Can I?" He shoots her a look and her jaw drops. She clenches her fists, and he stands strong, like she's an _enemy_ all of a sudden.

"Good luck with the statue, Hiccup. I won't tell anyone who doesn't know already," she stalks the rest of the way back to the dragons and he doesn't bother to chase after her this time.

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**So I wasn't expecting this. Way to put a big old wrench into my plans guys, just running around and saying things without my consent. But it's too perfect not to go along with, Astrid wouldn't have kept this a secret, and Hiccup definitely wouldn't have been ok with what transpired…**


	12. Worried

**I hope that this clears some things up. It really should. I hope. **

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"And then he kissed you?" Ruffnut flops dramatically onto the table, helmet clanging and falling halfway off of her head.

"We've been over this part," Astrid kicks her friend not at all gently under the table. Ruffnut doesn't really flinch, still in la-la land with Eret's stupid, _intruding_ lips. "I'm trying to tell you what happened after."

"Oh, I heard. You broke his nose. Some kind of friend you are, damaging _everyone's _view."

"After the nose breaking," Ruff draws an obvious blank, blinking slowly for a moment before grinning deviously.

"Do you think if we got him _really_ drunk and cut my hair, I could be all 'I changed my mind' and kiss him?" She proposes and Astrid wishes her ale were something stronger. Her head _still_ hurts for Odin's sake, it'd practically be medicinal.

"Fishlegs doesn't need you to cut your hair." If Astrid weren't so exasperated, the other girl's flush would be kind of sweet.

"But Fishlegs wouldn't _care_ if I cut my hair."

"And he took the opportunity to casually tell me he's building a giant statue—"

"You didn't know about the giant statue?" Ruffnut's eyes light up. "You should have been around yesterday, Barf and Belch were instrumental in shaping Stoick's giant crotch—"

"Tuffnut knows about the giant statue? Who doesn't know about it."

"I'm pretty sure everyone knows about it. By the middle of the afternoon there's always a crowd watching us work. Hiccup is actually up there a lot, I can't believe you didn't know."

"I guess I don't know a lot of things."

"Like what to do when Eret kisses you," Ruffnut drags the conversation back full circle.

"If you're going to bring that up, can we please talk about _my_ problem? Not Eret's…body."

Ugh.

"I don't think you have one," Ruff shrugs and Astrid opens her mouth to explain the whole thing again. Maybe if she says 'Radish' instead of 'Eret,' she'll be able to hold her friend's attention for more than five seconds. "About Hiccup not trusting you, yadda yadda, I heard you, I just wanted to talk about the interesting parts. But of course you didn't even take a second to grope anything good—"

"Ruff."

"Hiccup has nothing to worry about. That big, hot piece of man kissed you and your first reaction was to damage the goods."

"Mind explaining that to Hiccup?" Astrid snorts a miserable laugh and leans forward to rest her forehead on the table, bruise a hotspot of dull, nagging pain. "And it wasn't exactly my _first_ reaction…" she peeks out through her bangs and Ruffnut rolls her eyes.

"What? Did you decide to twist his nuts off too and really deprive the rest of us?"

"No," she wipes her hand over her eyes and groans, cursing under her breath. "I decided to let him make out with me for a while. I didn't…help any, but I sure didn't stop him right away."

"That's my girl!" Ruffnut hoots too loudly, raising her hand for a high five, and Astrid smacks it away, glaring at an older man staring at them curiously from the next table over.

"He's a shitty kisser anyway. It was just all…lips—"

"You already said you didn't grope anything, no need to keep rubbing it in."

"No, I mean it didn't feel like anything," Astrid lowers her voice and looks around to make sure that no one is listening. "It was just _wrong_, there was no spark, I didn't feel anything. It wasn't even exciting enough to be offensive, it was just sort of happening—"

"I don't know if this whole 'friends' thing is working out for me, Astrid."

"What?"

"I just don't know if you're the kind of person I want to associate with."

"Is this a planned speech?" Astrid snorts. A not so small part of her wonders if she should be expecting something similar from Hiccup's end.

"Yeah, I started working on it that one time I caught you blushing when Hiccup took his shirt off at the swimming hole. Which was really pathetic, by the way. What do you think?"

"I think you should be happy that I feel less from making out with Eret than holding Hiccup's hand. That means one less woman in your way." Ruffnut scowls and weighs the logic.

"It's not like I'm actually going to get to grope him—"

"Because he thinks you're a psycho."

"And because I have someone else to grope." She admits it slowly, like she's not sure she wants to, before grinning. "And let me tell you, both of mama's hands are _very_ busy—"

"Don't want to know," Astrid shakes her head. "I'm much happier not knowing."

"Well, you don't get to know, anyway. Those powerful—"

"Ugh, stop." Astrid drains her ale and looks across at her friend, trying for serious and ending up somewhere pathetic just above morose. "What do I tell Hiccup?" Ruffnut shrugs and gives her a small, _pitying_ smile.

She's really fucked, isn't she?

"I have no idea."

"Mind refilling me?" Astrid shoves her tankard towards Ruff and the other girl accepts it without her usual complaining. Great, she must be really pathetic to get Ruffnut to do her a favor without a headlock involved.

Astrid lets her head fall forward onto her arms and tries to relax, tries to talk herself out of going to Hiccup's house and kissing him until he's absolutely sure of the spark. Until he can't deny it anymore and he can't be mad at her, and he starts taking off her armor—

"I'll gladly take full responsibility for your headache," the last voice that Astrid wants to hear breaks her pleasant thought and the bench shifts underneath her. She looks up and Eret is sitting a thankfully polite distance away.

"Careful, Ruffnut is on her way back over here," she glances again at his purple, swollen nose, far worse off than her forehead, and smirks. "And she's really more at fault for the headache than you are."

"Nice bruise."

She brushes her bangs back over the spot and glares at him.

"Shut up. Yours is better anyway." She sighs and drums her fingers on the table, smirking when Ruffnut looks over and does a double take, grabbing the two mugs of ale and nearly tripping over herself in her sudden hurry. "Seriously, it's your last chance to run. She's halfway over here."

"I'm not _afraid_ of her—"

"I won't let her get you alone," Astrid teases, ignoring Ruffnut's broad grin as she sits down across from Eret and nearly spills Astrid's ale, handing it off so quickly without looking. "So you don't mind if Eret sits with us."

"I'll rethink ending our friendship…" Ruffnut shrugs, leaning over the table in an awkward half-stand, entirely too close to Eret's face. "And I'll have you know, you son of an Eret, that I'm really doubting she's even female for smashing your _beautiful_ face—"

"Whoa there," Astrid shoves back on her friend's shoulder. Eret looks appreciative and leans back from the table slightly, probably rethinking about running as a valid plan. "Sit with us. Not crawl onto the table with us."

"As long as we're done with the mope-fest," Ruffnut reluctantly sits back in her seat, taking a sip from her mug with her eyes locked on Eret the entire time.

"What _mope-fest_?" Eret rolls the word around for a moment and Astrid can't even get enough of Ruffnut's attention to glare at her properly.

"Hiccup doesn't trust Astrid anymore, which is ridiculous, it was just a little…tiny…kiss…" Ruffnut leans forward over the table with the last three words and Astrid kicks her in the shin. She falls back to her seat with a huff.

"I'll just come out and ask it," Eret turns to Astrid, almost a little embarrassed. She thinks that might be embarrassment anyway, it's hard to read underneath the black eyes. "I don't understand your relationship with the chief. And I daresay I guessed wrong," he gestures at his nose and Ruffnut snorts.

"They're disgusting. They've been holding hands and flying around and mooning over each other for _years_."

"Years?" Eret directs it towards Astrid and she shrugs, unsure whether Ruffnut's summary makes her mad or the fact that she and Hiccup somehow aren't _obvious_ to him.

"Years," Astrid nods slowly, staring at her hands. "Five years? Something like that, I don't…it doesn't really have a start date so I don't think we ever counted. But a long time."

"They don't even have the decency to keep their sweet, weird kissing private anymore, Gods, he just sort of lays them on her whenever he feels like it, they're practically married," Ruff mimes nausea before turning to Astrid, momentarily serious. "Actually, I forgot to tell you, I bet Tuff my half the yak that you'd finally get married this summer. And I want that yak."

"Is she speaking Norse?" Eret complains, looking at Astrid with what might be bruised apology. Either that or bruised ego, and she's not sure what's worse.

"Some of it…" Astrid bites her lip and glances over at Ruffnut, who doesn't seem to be paying attention to the words coming out of her mouth. It's not like she has any way to make the girl leave and she sighs, turning fully towards Eret on the bench. It's not warm or tingly like it was a couple of days ago, it's comfortable. An awkward brand of pre-interrogation comfort, but better than the strange uncomfortable tingle. "Look, I'm sure you have some questions. Just ask them, let's just get it out of the way."

"Honestly? I discounted anything too permanent when he turned you in on my ship." Astrid raises her eyebrows and glances at Ruffnut for back up.

"I'd hardly count that as turning us in. We could have broken out in thirty seconds. You didn't even lock the gate."

"I'm just saying, it was really strange." Ruffnut has the nerve to back Eret up, nodding as though hypnotized.

"I swear, your ego—"

"My ego aside," he smirks, and she wants to hit him. However, she really isn't sure that she could take him _and_ Ruffnut at the same time. And she's out of head butts for the week. "We had your weapons, we would have tied up your dragons and locked you below deck—"

"Go _on_," Ruffnut bites her lip and Eret looks honestly alarmed.

"Ruffnut!"

"What? It was just getting good," the female twin rests her elbows on the table again and leans her chin on folded hands.

"Haven't you creepily stared at him enough for…forever?" Astrid stands, mind reeling at how easy Eret made it sound to capture them.

"Never."

"Do you want to get out of here?" As soon as she asks the question Eret seems freed from some binding trance and he's standing next to her, everything about him leaning towards the door. "I'll see you later, Ruff."

The girl sees she shouldn't follow. Barely. Instead she settles for a leer at Eret's broad back and an eyebrow wiggle towards Astrid.

"I take it all bad, you're absolutely sane." Eret shivers as soon as they walk outside and she considers nagging him about the sleeves again, but it doesn't feel funny.

"Would it really have been that easy to capture us?" She blurts, staring at her feet and steering an aimless path home, arms crossed protectively in front of her.

"Honestly?" He glances at her for a moment before shrugging. "We would have prioritized the Night Fury over anyone else's life on the ship." Astrid purses her lips and nods, and all she can think about is Hiccup flying off alone without anyone knowing.

"That was stupid."

"It wasn't your decision…"

"If you want to grill me about Hiccup, this is as good of a time as any." She glances over at him and waits for the awkward tingle, that forbidden feeling that's been accosting her for weeks. It doesn't come, and there's something oddly comforting about the stagnant air between them.

It's friends without the nuance, without the history. As much as coming from a small island helps with camaraderie, she's suddenly excited that Eret doesn't know the whole story. He doesn't get it yet that Ruffnut is crazy but Tuffnut is crazier, that Snotlout is as dense as Gronckle iron and almost as dependable in a pinch, that Hiccup is a constant enigma.

"Berk is more…traditional than I'm used to," he starts in a slow voice, like he's deciding how to put something delicate. Ha, he doesn't know that she doesn't need things put delicately. "From what Ruffnut said, a kiss is something taken quite seriously."

"Especially a _public _kiss," Astrid nods, nudging him in what feels like the right direction.

"That's not true in many of my common ports."

"Here it's…Well, he really meant it." She meant it too, everyone meant it. It was easy and concise and she wishes she'd said something in the moment. "Hiccup…"

"Hiccup what?"

"I'm trying to decide how much I can tell you before it's another thing he's mad at me about. I told him about you kissing me already and now he thinks he can't trust me—" Saying it out loud like that hurts a little more than she would have expected and she swallows hard. "It's kind of a mess right now."

"I guess he should have been a bit more specific about what you were supposed to watch for, if he was going to have you look out for me."

"What? Don't try to blame this on Hiccup. You were an idiot, I was an idiot. You can't seriously be saying that he should have predicted that you would _kiss_ me?"

"I'm shocked he doesn't assume every man you come across is going to kiss you." Astrid glares at him and crosses her arms more tightly.

"You see, that's the problem. Everyone on this island has an understanding that Hiccup and I are—We just _are_. We have been since we were fifteen, it's just a _fact_." She snorts and sags slightly, because she wants this to be friendly and her head hurts. If she's going to fight with anyone, it should be Hiccup, at least that fight might end up somewhere happier than they are now. "I'll talk to him about it, maybe we should add it to the tour of the island agenda. Feeding stations, stables, Mildew's cabbages. Hiccup and Astrid."

"Who's Mildew?" He asks and she laughs, shaking her head, because this is surreal if she doesn't let it get under her skin. Gobber is right, she's not going to let anything else happen. "What is with _names_ around here? You're a tribe with a chief named _Hiccup_, that's practically asking for trouble."

"The first two Hiccup Horrendous Haddocks were great chiefs," she assures him. "And Mildew is an evil old bastard, maybe you should go introduce yourself."

"Is he as bad as Ruffnut?"

"To you? No." She laughs, slowing slightly as they approach her front door. "I should probably head in, early start tomorrow. I've got to go and see if Hiccup will _talk_ to me. You know, if you wouldn't mind showing off those black eyes, I'd appreciate it."

"If I see him, I'll point it out," he pauses for a second, barely too close before taking a step back and waving.

"Good luck keeping your camp dry," she returns the wave before slipping through her front door.

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**So, we've got pervy Ruffnut (who's my favorite), guilty Astrid, and Eret being a bit bamboozled. Tell me what you think. **

**And seriously y'all? Over 40 reviews on the last chapter? Thank you, and I will get those responded to tonight! **


	13. Disjointed

**Beware, this has a jaw dropping line in it. **

**Also, listen up people. I know you're missing the Hiccstrid feels, but you can get some really great, well-written ones over at Seize My Heart by oh-you-pretty-things. Seriously, check it out. It's all the fluff you ever need and MORE. **

**And don't forget to tell her it's great. Because it really is. **

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Hiccup isn't at his house in the morning, and he isn't there when Astrid checks back at lunch. Stormfly is too interested in the door, cocking her head and sniffing around the hinges and Astrid vows to get the Nadder a few hours with Toothless if it kills her. Alpha duties can't be as horribly time consuming as chiefly duties seem to be.

It's late afternoon when they've made enough progress to call it a day and Astrid is halfway turned towards flying home by the time it hits her that she still hasn't seen the magical _secret_ statue and she has more chance of running into Hiccup there than anywhere else. She flies along the cliff where she saw him that private morning, cloud of dust growing into something vaguely humanoid on the horizon. The statue is huge, blooming slowly out of the rock behind it, and Astrid narrowly avoids a gronckle with a mouthful of fist sized rocks and lands at the edge of a small crowd.

Most people seem to be heading home and she wonders for a second if Hiccup already has, probably soaring above the clouds while she glided below them. She could try his house again, but it's tough enough to formulate the words to talk about why she's mad without watching her Nadder look for Toothless. She's really not sure what she's going to say anyway, it's one of those fights she can't quite quantify.

His anger is obvious, she kissed—well, she touched lips with someone other than him. That's something to be mad about, if she learned he'd kissed someone else she'd be furious. But wouldn't it be different if she learned from him instead of someone else?

Maybe not, maybe she'd only care that he kissed someone who wasn't her.

But she's not really sure all that she's angry about, or how to communicate what she does know. She's furious that he's acting like he can't trust her. That much makes sense, after _everything_ they've been through the past five years, after all the secrets she's kept and saved and defended. After all the times she had his back and told him what he needed to hear even if he didn't like it, after every single time she backed him up to his father, all it took was one lousy _kiss_ to break all of that?

If anyone is untrustworthy it's him. She can't trust his ears to hear what she's saying, she can't trust him not to embellish and ignore. She can't help but remember when he used to _hear_ her, really hear her. It definitely hasn't felt like that since his father's death, but she wonders if it was something that shifted long before.

She hates not trusting their connection.

But it's bigger than that, the whole situation worse than a few splinters raised from a once smooth surface. She can't get words and phrases out of her head, snippets of things he said that bug her when they really shouldn't.

'_Come on, you breaking someone's nose is practically the Berkian welcome mat.'_

There's nothing inherently wrong with that, of course, they're Vikings, she's broken a few noses and had her fingers broken in return. She's brawled and sparred and fought since she was knee high, it's just how they used to live, how they are under that new dragon gentleness. But to have it laid out like that, like she's some wrecking ball child who smashes faces in willy nilly for no reason stings. She doesn't hurt people when she doesn't have a reason, she's not _cruel_.

'_I thought I was giving you something _manageable_ to do…'_

Did he really think about that? Did he really sit there and come up with some _easy_ task to give her? Like she's incapable of handling anything real. She's done so much for him with the academy and his adventures in general, but now she's relegated to _manageable_ tasks. Lovely.

'…_Why would he even do that?... It doesn't make any sense…'_

That's the zinger.

The one that she shouldn't care about, because it's obviously not how it sounds, but the line that's sticking in the back of her mind all the same. Like he can't believe someone would want to kiss her, like she's inherently _unkissable_. And it's grating on her, along with everything else. Could that really be what he thinks? Did something shift when he became chief and saw all the island's real problems?

But worse than all of that, it makes her feel _needy_, like she's asking for something outside of the scope of what's appropriate. She knew that things would change when he became chief, she knew he'd be busy and they'd have no time together, but she didn't think she'd ever turn into someone for him to _manage_, someone causing problems and asking him for things instead of offering her help. But part of her clings to the idea that she shouldn't have to ask for kisses, that should still be a part of them, a part of what they do, shouldn't it?

Or is that what's holding her back? Chiefs don't kiss their seconds, and as long as she's asking him, he doesn't trust her?

Is she just some immature, needy _girl_, hanging on for the ride?

But she could hardly ask him that. She's not even sure she knows how to put those words together out loud, they're so strange and uncomfortable in her mind.

She should probably just go home. As much as she wants to hunt him down and talk to him, isn't that just proving she's the kind of person who chases people down and breaks their noses? She'll deal with this tomorrow, when she hasn't thought about this so damn much.

"Come on, girl, let's go," Astrid nudges her shoulder against Stormfly's and starts towards home, opting to stretch her legs over risking another mid-air gronckle collision.

"Astrid!" Her back stiffens and she looks over her shoulder, softening reflexively when she sees Hiccup _jogging_ towards her. "Hey, I was just about to go look for you." He stops a few feet in front of her with a slightly sheepish grin and she relaxes, one hand on her hip.

"You were?"

"Yeah—"

"I was just looking for Toothless, Stormfly really misses him." The black dragon slinks forward at his name, rubbing his side against Hiccup's and pushing his big, triangular head against Astrid's hands, crooning quietly until she scratches under his jaw. He puffs warm air against her stomach and wins a smile, ear flaps standing off of his neck.

"Looks like he misses you too."

"Seriously, I thought Stormfly was going to break into your house. She was sniffing around the door and clawing—"

"You were at my house?" And he's worried, brows furrowed above a forgotten smile.

"Yeah, is that ok?" He's never cared before.

"Did it look ok?"

"It looked fine. Why wouldn't it look fine?" He sighs and runs a hand back through his hair, slumping slightly.

"No reason. I'm glad it was fine."

"You're being really cryptic," he shrugs, patting Toothless's haunch as the Night Fury slips around Astrid to enthusiastically greet Stormfly, wiggling the ridges of his spine and warbling towards the forest. "Is everything ok?"

"I talked to Gobber," he changes the subject, wincing slightly. "And I overreacted the other day…"

"Little bit."

"Of course I can trust you," he steps forward and puts his hand on her shoulder, and somehow she can't tell if it's the chief or Hiccup or someone new in between who she doesn't quite know yet. "And you didn't even have to tell me, but you did. So you're both braver and more honest than pretty much everyone. How's the head?" His other hand pushes her hair out of the way and strokes gently across the now yellow bruise.

"It's alright, I might as well have headbutted a rock, but it's feeling better."

"I think you have great aim," he assures her, jaw flexing quietly.

"And Ruff and I talked to Eret," she doesn't know why she mentions the other girl, but it seems necessary somehow. It seems to work as Hiccup softens slightly, hand warmer and heavier on her shoulder. "It was a misunderstanding. Apparently Berk is a little more…_conventional_ than what he's used to. He didn't know, it's handled, alright?"

"I'll talk to him."

"You really don't have to, I've got it, ok?" She reaches out and braces her hands against his shoulders, squeezing lightly. "Really."

"I'll keep you in mind for another project, alright?" He touches the bruise again, regretful. Of course she's had worse, hell she's had worse from him. From his bedframe and Toothless's over eager tail. From his impossibly pointy elbow and the fact he never looks behind him before he whirls around. "Something less—"

"Less what?" She freezes and he grins at her.

"Less demanding," he shakes his head. "I didn't realize you'd literally have to beat your head against this one."

"Hiccup, I can handle it. Hel, give me something harder. Do you need help with the statue? It's coming along great by the way." She gestures behind him with one hand and he glances at the statue, wordlessly flapping his mouth for a second.

"Thanks."

"Hiccup."

"I'm handling everything, really, everyone is doing their job and—"

"How's the academy?" The question falls out and his eyes widen slightly like he's really forgotten about it. "Do you know what you're doing with that?"

"I can't say that I do." And it's diplomatic and strange, and she wonders when he started talking like that.

"Let me take over. My sister is six this summer, she and her friends could start with some terrors, couldn't they? Just the little stuff, sit, come, fly." She rubs his arm, even though he probably can't feel it through the leather. "And the bigger kids can start in autumn? After the harvest?"

"I can't—I'll handle that after the harvest."

"Why can't I handle it?" she stands up straighter, hand frozen against his elbow. "I was there with you for every class, I think I can help train a handful of terrors."

"It's just a really big favor—"

"It's not a favor, it's a job," she snaps, stepping back from him slightly. "Houses don't take that long to build, I'm going to be done soon, why can't it be the academy next?"

"The academy is…complicated. I started it, it was the first thing my father—" his voice catches and he clears his throat. "It was the first real thing that anyone trusted me with."

"So you want to leave it in good hands," she grins hopefully, faltering when he flexes his jaw. Again.

Gods, that's annoying, the silent anger he won't explain. It feels like he's asking her to drop it and go away and it makes her want to get in his face. It brings out that horrible competitive side she tries to keep away from Hiccup.

"I don't want to leave it at all."

"I'm not saying you'll never be there. You just won't be there every day—"

"I know that, Astrid! I know!" He shouts, and a few people look over. She takes a step back, biting her lip, suddenly conscious of _embarrassing _him.

That's a new thought, and she can't say she likes it.

"Hey, I'm not trying to—"

"Can we talk about something other than me being chief? Maybe? For once," he snaps and Toothless looks over curiously from the trees.

"What do you want to talk about?" She sighs and he flexes that damn jaw again. She wants to hit him.

"I don't know," he wipes his palms on his thighs and glances at her through thick eyelashes. "What did you do last night?"

"That's when Ruff and I talked to Eret," she grins, "and she scared the shit out of him, it was hilarious. We practically had to tactically evade the advances out of the hall—"

"We as in 'you and Eret'?" She narrows her eyes and nods.

"Yeah, I wasn't quite done explaining everything to him."

"Oh, so you explained it. Ruffnut just ran the two of you off together." He nods curtly and gestures for her to go on.

"I guess you could phrase it like that," she looks at him strangely. "Then I went to bed. What did you do last night?"

"I flew back to itchy armpit and into that forest off to the West. Lots of Timberjacks and Hotburples, I should take Fishlegs out there, there are some of the youngest Hotburples I've ever seen, their nesting grounds must be out that way, and I'm sure he'd like to take a look." He looks happier and Astrid swallows against a lump in her throat.

"Sounds fun."

"It really was. It was nice to get off of the island for a few hours."

"I'm sure."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He frowns at her. "You can leave whenever you want, Astrid. No one misses you when you're gone, you're still _free_ to explore—"

"What?" Her jaw falls open and she steps away, heart pounding in her throat.

"You're lucky." He obviously doesn't know what he said, following after her and putting his hand on her shoulder. She tries to shrug it off but it's heavy and persistent and she smacks the inside of his elbow, glaring at his melodramatic wince.

"I feel really _lucky_, no one misses me when I'm gone. Really? No one?"

"Whoa," he steps away, rubbing the inside of his arm. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" She pushes her bangs out of her eyes and shifts her weight from foot to foot like she's planning to run. "I don't even know anymore."

"Come here," he frowns and reaches for her again, one hand clasping on her waist and pulling her into a hug that she surely doesn't want right now. She shakes her head and braces her palms against his shoulders, leaning away.

"Hiccup—"

"If I said something—" And he tugs her those last two inches into his chest, forcing the hug. She shoves him off and takes a step away, face burning from the curious eyes she just _knows_ are directed towards them.

"Can Stormfly stay and play with Toothless for a while?"

"Of course, where are you going?"

"I don't know." She wipes her hand over her forehead and stalks off into the forest, away from the crowd. He doesn't follow.

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**Ba-dum-shh**


	14. Mended

**All y'all of little faith. Seriously, you've got to have some trust here, I promise this roller coaster lands safely. **

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"No, Snotlout, I'm absolutely serious," Eret pulls the other boy closer, like their conversation is supposed to be private from Astrid, who's leaning over Eret's shoulder and trying to hide a grin. "This _works_, damn sure it'll get you more than a punch this time."

"This works on mainland girls?" Snotlout narrows his eyes and glances at Astrid for back up. She nods wordlessly.

"Maybe you need to show him," she suggests, thwacking the top of Eret's arm with the back of her hand. "Just for a second though, you don't want to take all of his game."

"True, because I will take the game," Eret grins and it's not clear if it's a part of the joke anymore when he flexes his opposite bicep. Snotlout is so hilariously envious that Astrid puts her hand seriously over her mouth and nods, muffling her laugh.

"Come on, show the magic," Astrid nudges him to his feet and steps out of the way so that he can walk to the nearby wall. She glances over her shoulder and of course the women in the hall are watching, because he's Eret and new and interesting, and this is going to work so perfectly. Eret grins knowingly at Snotlout, eyes flicking so briefly to Astrid before he presses up into a handstand against the wall, feet thunking against the wood and garnering everyone's attention. Snotlout gulps. Astrid elbows him in the side and raises her eyebrows. "Are you seeing it?"

"Seeing what?" Snotlout might like Eret's biceps more than Ruffnut.

"Look at the scenery," she gestures to the room behind her, the women glancing over their way, some furtively, some outright staring. "Chicks are digging it."

"Uh Eret? I get it, stop stealing the game," Snotlout hustles towards the wall, nearly prying Eret's feet down before struggling to press up into the position himself. He can't quite manage it and Eret grabs his ankle, pegging it to the siding and holding it there until his other foot comes up and he steadies himself. "Am I good?"

"You're positively studly," Astrid shakes her head and sits back down at the bench, taking a sip of her ale as Eret sits beside her. This was his idea, and even though it's dumb and wholly conceived to cheer her up even though she insisted she was fine, she's enjoying it. She's enjoying how he didn't pry, for once, that he just accepted her sitting down beside him and stewing.

And he was nervous about the plan, nervous like a kid with a new dragon riding trick, like he's unsure whether he's allowed to initiate the games. This particular grand tour of Berk isn't exactly conventional…but it's _fun_. It's been a while since she had pointless, aimless fun.

"How long do we leave him up there?" Eret chuckles, speaking into his mug like he'll give something away if he looks up. He really does look younger, mischievous. For not the first time she wants to ask about how he grew up, because it appears he never got to prank obnoxious friends.

"As long as he can stay up there," Astrid grins, nudging her shoulder against Eret's and taking a sip of her ale. "I bet he'll start whining any minute."

"Is Ruffnut really on her way?"

"No, she's with Fishlegs, they went flying," she laughs and ducks down to hide in her mug. "She's not even on the island."

"You're evil." He grins at her, more giddy than smug.

"Looking good Snot," Astrid leans back to encourage him, ducking back behind Eret to hide when his purple face makes her laugh. "Do you have any idea how many times that guy pulled my hair when we were kids? I deserve some revenge."

"And he's so willing to do it," Eret marvels and Astrid peeks around him before snickering again, ducking forward towards the table. Eret smirks and points at her hunched back, turning to Snotlout. "Look, Snot! She had to look away, you were seducing her—"

"Shut up," Astrid hisses, elbowing him not at all gently in the ribs. He coughs and she dodges his hand as he tries to cuff the back of her head.

"See, Snotlout? She's scintillated, trying to escape the table—" She hits him again and he leans down towards her. "You know, if you play along he'll stay up there longer."

And for a second, she's not a leader, she's someone following along with the joke. And it's so close to old times, on this same bench with Hiccup, laughing at Tuffnut doing something impossible Hiccup asked him to attempt. She nods and half stands.

"I've got to get out of here, he's drawing me in—"

"Astrid?" It's Hiccup, and he's trying to look serious, interested smile tugging at the corners of his eyes anyway. It falters when he notices Eret behind her and returns when his gaze catches on Snotlout upside down against the wall.

"Sit down," she pats the bench beside her, a little stilted, but so overwhelmingly glad that he came to find her. It's amazing how far that goes towards the apology she's not really expecting. He came to find her, step one is complete. "You're stealing all of Snotlout's game standing there with flowers—why do you have flowers?"

"Snotlout's game?" He quirks an eyebrow and snorts before holding the bouquet awkwardly towards him. "And they're for you." He sighs and sits next to her, rubbing his free hand over his face. "Stormfly gave me the stink-eye earlier and…when I said no one misses you I meant that buildings don't fall down. I miss you." He pushes the flowers closer to her chest and she opens her mouth to respond before letting out a booming sneeze.

"Are those gentians?" She leans back, more than a little irked when Eret doesn't give her any room and she's stuck with his unnecessarily hard bicep between her shoulder blades.

"Yeah," he swallows a nervous half smile and Astrid shoves back against Eret hard enough to earn a few more inches of bench. "They reminded me of your eyes."

"I'm allergic."

"To gentian flowers?" He looks down and his eyes widen. "Right, you are allergic to gentians, that's why—"

"So that's why you don't fly over that field on the south side of the island?" Eret chooses this moment to interject himself into the conversation. Astrid sneezes again and Hiccup chucks the flowers over his shoulder, raining little blue petals down into Spitelout's half full mug of ale. The man curses.

"Exactly," Hiccup answers Eret's question for him, offering Astrid a handkerchief from the front pocket of his flight suit. She takes it with a nod and blows her nose, wiping runny, itchy tears from her eyes. "Sorry, I—I knew that, I just didn't remember."

"It's fine," she sets the slightly damp cloth on the table, drumming her fingers on the wood.

"Guys? I don't feel so good," Snotlout complains from behind them, right before a resounding thump that sounds suspiciously like his helmet hitting the floor. Astrid sputters a laugh, looking down into her lap and fixating on Hiccup's hip, a few inches from her knee and facing outward. She scoots away from Eret slightly, towards Hiccup, and nudges her knee against his thigh.

"_If_ you're ok, I'm going to go make sure he's not dead," Eret leans over her shoulder, blue tattoos in her peripheral vision as he points towards Snotlout.

"I'm fine," she brushes him off. What does he mean _if_ she's ok? They're allergies, it was a flower, not an axe to the throat. Hiccup is staring past her when she looks up at him and she nudges him again. "So…I believe you were telling me that you miss me?"

"I miss you," he smiles, and he can already tell that he's forgiven. She doesn't care like she probably should. "And I thought about coming to get you before I left last night, but the torch in your room was out, I assumed you were asleep."

"Next time, wake me up," she shrugs.

"Throw rocks at your window like I used to?" He laughs and flushes and she shakes her head.

"That was fine until you broke through the shutter."

"I fixed it," he insists, swallowing and wincing slightly as he turns to face her. "So…I came to tell you something specific, outside of the flowers."

"What?" It can't be anything good, the way his face is contorted around nothing.

"You were right about the academy," he rests his face in his hands and continues, slightly garbled. "It's—I don't _want_ to give it up, but it's going to be better off with your full attention than whatever time I manage to scrape together for it. And you're the best choice for the job," he glances up at her and bites his lip. "I'm jealous. I want to train your sister at the academy."

"So I can do it?" She grins and he nods, barely smiling and holding up one finger.

"One condition. If I have time, I'm there, alright? No kicking me out and making those kids do ridiculous dragon-less drills on Dragon Island." She knocks her fist against his shoulder.

"That was one time, and that was about war, not dragon training."

"Do we have a deal?" He offers her his hand and she shakes it, enthusiastic but feeling slightly silly at the formal gesture.

"Deal."

"I'm thinking it'll take the twins a couple of days to catch the terrors, and Ruffnut should let you know. You can probably start later this week."

"This week?" She frowns and glances at Eret behind her, conversing with Gustav Larson and obviously debating whether they should pour a cask of ale over Snotlout's still puce face. He's breathing, she's not too worried. "But the houses aren't going to be done—"

"Anyone can ride a dragon and lift a log," he shrugs and grabs her hand in his, thumb tracing over a scar near her pinky. "But I can't trust anyone else with the academy. You were right."

"Can I hear that one more time?" She laughs. "That whole part where I'm _right_-"

"You were right," he repeats it, rolling his eyes and staring over her shoulder again to where Eret is helping a slightly damp Snotlout to his feet, gesturing towards the ceiling and obviously telling some story. Hiccup tugs on her hand and she looks back at him.

"I feel bad leaving before we're done rebuilding though, Skullcrusher and Stormfly are great together." Hiccup purses his lips and shrugs again.

"The academy is important. You were right."

"You can't distract me by telling that I'm right," she wracks her brain, squeezing his hand and sitting up straight when she lights on the solution. "Half days. I can train with the kids in the morning, build in the afternoon. That way I have the kids before they're tired and the men after they're fully awake."

Hiccup thinks it over for a second, comfortingly critical, like her ideas magically hold real weight again and shrugs.

"That makes sense," he concludes, glancing over her shoulder again.

"Is Snotlout alive?" She tries to follow his gaze but he grabs her chin, leaning forward and kissing her, more forcefully than she would have expected given the location. She cuts it off when his hand finds the curve of her waist and slides boldly _down_, flirting pointedly with the slats of her skirt. "Hey, what was that for?"

"I can't kiss you?" He grins flirtatiously and tugs at her hand again, urging her closer to him on the bench.

"Maybe we don't need to make out in the great hall," she looks towards the door. "We do have dragons, we can go somewhere better."

"I have an early call tomorrow," he frowns and plays with her fingers. "But I still owe you that flight."

"You owe me two flights," she pinches his palm and slides her hand on top of his, tracing the strap of his flight suit over his finger. "Did Stormfly have fun playing with Toothless earlier, by the way?"

"Oh, yeah," he grins at her. "She followed me around all afternoon, I dropped her and Toothless at your house and tried to talk to you there, but your mom said that you were up here."

"Maybe she could follow you around some mornings while I'm at the academy?" The word is still thrilling, all of that responsibility floating around her head and making her almost dizzy. He trusts her, he really does. He's just…busy.

He grins and shrugs.

"Or Toothless could come with you and thrill your sister," his face lights up and his grip on her hand goes slack. "Right, I wanted to offer that anyway. Because with the younger kids, nothing calms them down like a flight on Toothless. He should probably be there on your first day, at least. Maybe I could borrow Stormfly?"

"This is nice," she blurts out and he looks at her strangely. "Talking logistics with you. It's nice. When I said I'd help you with being chief, this is what I was expecting."

"I'm not asking too much?" He deflates slightly and she shakes her head, tugging his hand back towards her.

"Not at all. I'm excited, this is exciting."

"It should be a big help," he nods and drifts away a bit.

"It'll be in good hands," he smiles, obviously still a bit sad handing it over. "And I'll put in so much time there you'll be glad you gave the job away."

"Yeah? You'll make it look _extra_ miserable? Because that might actually be helpful." He sighs and squeezes her fingers a little more tightly. "Maybe I won't miss it so much if you're walking around the village covered in dragon dung."

"I think I can avoid the dragon dung."

"No, that's in the job description. I'll write it all out for you, but that's absolutely first page. The second page explicitly lists no taking them to dragon island—ouch," he dodges a punch and complains anyway, "and the third says that your sister can't use the other students for axe practice—" He kisses her again, almost too hard as his hand clutches in her braid, tugging her towards him.

The bench shifts under what she's assuming is Eret's weight behind her and she pulls away with a blushing glare, giving Hiccup a pointed look.

"Is Snotlout ok?" Astrid turns back to face the table, fingers loosely intertwining with Hiccup's. Eret nods and smirks a bit, obviously quite pleased with himself.

"Knocked himself out, when he woke up, I told him that Ruffnut kicked him in the head." Astrid snorts.

"You're really getting the hang of Berkian flirting there."

"Who's flirting?" Hiccup leans back against the table, brows furrowed low over his eyes despite his light tone.

"We're _helping_ Snotlout flirt with Ruffnut by making him sweep the rain and do handstands against the wall until he passes out." Astrid laughs and Hiccup's face softens slightly. "Eret just had the brilliant idea to tell Snotlout that he passed out because Ruffnut kicked him in the head instead of from being in a handstand for five minutes." She snorts and turns back to Eret. "Good one, seriously."

"That _is_ a good one," Hiccup's voice is a little too crisp, a little too pointed and Astrid stiffens slightly. "Eret, how's everything with Skullcrusher?"

"Absolutely fine," Eret responds, completely at ease. "I can see why your father loved him so much."

"He's a great dragon," the corner of Hiccup's mouth twitches somewhere towards amusement before flattening. "If you need any help with him, come and ask _me_. I'm around."

"Are you?" Eret asks through a smug face that's entirely out of place and Astrid elbows him in the gut. He doesn't flinch.

"All the time."

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**Ok, I seriously promise that Hiccup isn't a raging jerk-face. Seriously. He says the wrong thing all the time. Just have a little faith. **

**And warning, the next chapter is going to break **_**my**_** heart, but you'll all probably love it. **


	15. Closed

**So I'm cranking these out like a mad woman. I'll get to reviews later, I promise. **

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Astrid steps up to Skullcrusher's side with the jar of oil dipping Stormfly's already greasy rag in and rubbing the Rumblehorn's slightly dingy side, shining away the saddle scuffs in his scales. Eret sets down his still oversized saddle with a grunt and moves back over to watch her, close enough that he must feel ready to take over. She hands him the rag and steps towards the dragon's tired head.

"It's better if you go in circular motions, it gets more of the scratches out," she scratches behind Skullcrusher's horn and he sighs. Stormfly walks up behind her and nudges her cheek, smelling more strongly than usual like cod oil. "And it takes a little longer if you don't do it every day, but Skullcrusher doesn't care anyway. It's mostly Nadders who want the constant grooming." Stormfly trills in agreement and taps Eret on the shoulder until she gets attention from him too, cocking her head as if to show off her shiny, clean spikes.

"What happened here?" He asks, pointing to a small black scuff along the smaller scales of Skullcrusher's armpit.

"Oh, that's just grime from the leather grease. You have to scrub it a bit harder," she takes the cloth from him and steps up. He's standing too close to her still, like she's going to hurt Skullcrusher or something and she glares over her shoulder. "Back up or I'll probably end up elbowing you."

He moves around to the Rumblehorn's head, patting Stormfly's cheek and grinning when the dragon croons and leans happily into the attention. The stain is more stubborn than she originally expected and she ducks down slightly, tongue peeking out of the corner of her mouth as she smoothes a little extra oil into the spot and scrubs harder. Skullcrusher groans and lifts his front leg and Eret laughs, patting the big dragon's neck.

"Feel good, boy?"

"I'd suggest _sir_," she laughs, finally breaking through and wiping the streak of soot away. "And you have to put a little muscle into it. You aren't going to break him, I promise," she sets the rag back in his hand and punches his bicep demonstratively, walking over to her saddle on a rack in front of the barn and brushing her fingers across the seat. She'll need a new one soon, this one is a little too small and the seat is starting to wear through to the woolen padding underneath. "And we should actually talk about getting you that new saddle. Stoick's is way too big for you."

"That could easily be taken as an insult," he grins over Skullcrusher's shoulder and Astrid shrugs.

"Stoick was a bigger man than the rest of us." She bites her lip and looks at the ground, taking in the way the late spring sun is glinting off of the palest hairs of her fur boots. "I sent Drago to Berk, didn't I?" The words fall out, a tumble more than a graceful leap and Eret stops scrubbing, rag hanging limp from his hand. "My bluff wasn't a bluff. It was…attractant."

"Mentioning the night fury didn't help anything."

"But he went to the nest faster. And Berk wasn't even on his radar before that and I—" She kicks the ground and picks up her saddle, carrying it into the barn for the night. Skullcrusher is clean and shiny when she walks back out and Eret hands her the jar of oil, patting Stormfly's curious head as Astrid folds the rag into unnecessarily neat pleats, given that it's going straight to the wash. "It is my fault."

"He would have attacked the nest anyway."

"But not Berk."

"We—" He freezes and she looks at him strangely. "You-Berk wouldn't have even known that the alpha was gone. It would have been a surprise."

"Did you just almost refer to yourself as my fellow Berkian?" The thought makes her smile somehow, no matter how much he's wrong.

"I'm not that crazy yet."

"Yet," she hangs on the word. "And stop trying to make me feel better. I told Drago about Berk. It's just a fact." She swallows hard, because it's worse when it's so plainly laid out.

"You did, but he would have found it anyway."

"I don't care. It's my fault." It feels better to admit it somehow, even if it's just to Eret. She should tell Hiccup and she wishes she could tell Stoick. She wishes she could admit the crime to the punished.

"Are you always this insufferably hard on yourself?" And it's a strange echo of Hiccup in another time, calming her down with a still skinny arm over her shoulders when she'd tried the same throw fifty times and hadn't succeeded. It's Hiccup the other morning, encouraging her to have a sweet once in a while.

"Absolutely."

She turns around and puts the oil away next to her saddle, pausing briefly to pluck a few pieces of singed straw from the barn's stone floor, before walking back out into the sun, glancing towards her house's kitchen window as Eret sets about heaving the too big saddle back onto Skullcrusher. She steps up to help when he almost fumbles it, stretching up to center it on the big dragon's shoulders.

"Astrid?" Her mother's voice rings out from the back door and she pats Skullcrusher's shoulder before stepping out from behind Eret and answering.

"Yeah?"

"Dinner's ready."

"Oh thanks," she scratches Stormfly's chin and turns to Eret. "So I'll see you tomorrow—"

"Your friend can stay for dinner, if you like, dear," her mom announces, beckoning Eret towards the door with a welcoming arm. Astrid raises her eyebrows, a little pale remembering her mother and Ruffnut's conversation. Eret's ego doesn't really need to be any bigger, does it?

"You don't have to," she tells him, as rude as she can manage beneath a polite comment.

"I was invited," he grins and gives Skullcrusher one last affectionate scratch on the chin before walking—no, sauntering—towards Astrid's house.

This is going to be a fun evening. She wishes Hiccup were here, at least then she'd have someone to point out the humor in her imminent humiliation.

00000

But then, it's not humiliating at all.

An hour later it's getting dark and Astrid laughing as Dagny tugs too hard on Eret's chin to examine his tattoos, bravely perched on his lap since the moment she finished eating. Eret flinches and mouths the word 'strong' and Dagny lets go of his chin with a pat that earns a snort.

"When did you umm…get your tattoos?" The little girl asks, again tracing the blue lines with a small, still slightly chubby finger.

"When I became a man," he explains simply and Dagny frowns at him.

"You're not a man."

"I'm not?" Eret looks down at himself for comic effect, checking his arm for something invisible. "I look like a man."

"You don't have a beard. You're not a man," Dagny explains and Astrid's mother snorts from her chair sewing by the fire.

"What am I if I'm not a man?"

"You're still a boy," the girl giggles, glancing back at Astrid for backup.

"It checks out. No beard, you must still be a boy."

"Large boy then," Astrid's father laughs, standing from tending the fire and walking over to the table to rest his charcoal grubby hands on the back of a chair. "Tell me Eret, do you have any experience fishing? I could use another man this summer once the cleanup wraps up."

"No experience fishing, _sir_," Astrid snorts and her father looks at her strangely. "But I spent my life on a boat."

"Aah, rigging, these make more sense now," he pats Eret's arm in a friendly way that always used to make Hiccup flinch. Eret holds steady and musses Dagny's hair when she starts poking at his chin again. "I could use you, if you're interested."

"I'm more interested in if he knows how to hang a door," Astrid's mother complains, setting her sewing aside. "With the stress, I figured Hiccup would be over twice a day to complain and sand things. The house is falling apart."

"What?" Eret looks at Astrid for an explanation and she smiles fondly at the memory.

"Hiccup angry fixes things. Whenever he has a hard day, he walks around with a hammer, whining and banging things into place. He built that entire bookshelf when his dad made him rebuild your saddle three times in a month," she gestures to a wall attached shelf behind them, covered in folded blankets and a few leather bound books.

"Really, Eret, are you any good with a hammer?" Astrid's mother repeats the question and he shakes his head.

"I can't say that I am."

"Too bad, the front door needs it. My husband about knocked it off of its hinges this morning."

"I'll talk to Hiccup about it, mom," Astrid nods and bites her lip, already too excited about the flights he owes her. She wouldn't complain about watching him angry fix the door either, shoulders clenching and pounding through his shirt—

"Don't worry him, dear…don't stop him, but don't worry him either," she sighs and picks her sewing back up and Astrid recognizes a pair of her leggings she tore the week before when sparring with Eret was clumsy and confusing.

"It'll be nice to have a real seafarer aboard," Astrid's father pats Eret's shoulder again before reaching out for Dagny. "Vikings all forgot how to row when they learned to fly," he shakes his head and fully focuses on Dagny, who's pointedly avoiding eye contact as if she can escape bed if she remains unseen. "Time for bed, sweetheart."

"I hope I still remember," Eret laughs and easily picks Dagny up, handing her off to her father. She immediately squirms to the ground and runs around the table to give Astrid a hug, giggling when Astrid kisses the top of her head.

"Goodnight, sweetie."

"And I still get to train a dragon later, right?" The little girl whispers into her ear, wide anxious eyes fixed on Astrid's.

"That's what I said, later this week. But you've got to keep doing your reading lessons with Mama." Astrid tacks the last part on, anticipating the girl's future complaints of being tired. Dagny thinks it over for a second before nodding and stealing one last hug, head resting sweetly against Astrid's side. "I think Mom probably wants a goodnight hug too," she laughs as the little girl dashes one last time across the room to hug her mom before grudgingly trudging up the stairs with her father.

Astrid looks up and Eret is staring at her.

"What?"

"What if I wanted a goodnight hug?" He smirks and she narrows her eyes at him.

"She was on your lap all night. I think she has a little crush, be careful."

"I've handled scarier big sisters," he challenges and Astrid rolls her eyes.

"Not me, her. She's already got wicked aim from across the room, she'll take your eye out." The room is too silent for a moment and Astrid stands, glancing over at the back of her mother's head. "I'll walk you out…"

"It was nice meeting you Mrs. Hofferson," Eret shakes her mother's hand and it feels strange and normal, so incredibly different from Hiccup's first, awkward introduction. Hiccup would be so peeved, insisting on shaking hands as a do-over five years later. It would be hilarious, even if she'd probably call him ridiculous for doing it.

"Nice meeting you too, Eret." As soon as he turns his back, Astrid's mother wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and Astrid decides in that moment not to have Ruffnut over anymore.

She leads him through the back door, which isn't quite creaky yet but sounds like it might be someday soon and he shuts it gently behind him. Skullcrusher is sleeping mostly patiently against the side of the house and Eret lays a gentle hand on the dragon's nose to rouse him. Astrid can hear her mother humming through the window, and it reminds her too much of that happy first time Hiccup came over for dinner and the table looked so _full_.

"They like you," she tells him for some indiscernible reason, glancing around and wondering where Stormfly flew off to. Probably to show off her clean, pretty scales to that group of Nadders she's been eyeing. "Especially Dagny. I'm serious, if you're not careful she's going to start following you around asking for rides."

"I wouldn't mind," and there's something almost plaintive in his voice that makes Astrid wish she brought a torch or something. It's too dark between her house and the barn and Skullcrusher is making the space too warm.

It feels overwhelmingly _wrong_.

"You say that now, but she had Hiccup hiding from her at one point," Astrid smiles, trying to ameliorate the situation in her mind, but it doesn't seem to quite span the space.

"I'll make time for your sister," he insists and it almost makes her turn to leave right then, face tightening with the effort of not tearing into the insinuation. He's smart enough to sense the anger and takes a step back. "So your parents like me too?"

She shrugs, holding onto the childish ire for a few extra seconds.

"They do, but you should be careful with them too. If you hang out around here much more they're going to try and _adopt_ you." He laughs and looks down at himself, affirming for the second time tonight that he's not a child.

"I think it's a little late for adoption," he strokes his chin. "Even if I'm not a man yet."

"I'm serious, they've been talking about it since Dagny was born and they found themselves with two daughters. They say they're going to snatch some young pirate to take over the fishing boats once I'm—" out of the house. She can't seem to finish the thought right now, it's something she talked through in a different era with a different, _favorite_ person, completely removed from the dark, awkward warmth of the present. "Anyway, be careful, or they're going to be calling you 'son' before you can blink."

"And to think a few months ago, the girl's parents were chasing me out to sea." He grins. It's a joke but it doesn't hit like one. It's thirteen year old Hiccup sharpening her axe and looking at her so hopefully.

It's twice as uncomfortable and she clears her throat, taking a step back.

"I'm not _the girl_."

It's not angry like she feared it might be. More plaintive, explanatory, the gentle reminder most people wouldn't get from her. Eret nods, a curt, barely perceptible flick of his chin and she manages a small smile.

"Dagny tired me out, I should be getting back to my camp." Skullcrusher grunts his assent and puffs air in Astrid's direction, a stoic goodnight.

"If you want, I'm sure no one would mind if you dropped by for breakfast. We could head over to the job site together." The offer feels wonderfully normal, friendly. He smiles and nods a little more vigorously and she hopes that he feels the shift too. "I'll let my mom know you might be coming by."

"Alright," he nods again and she can almost feel his head wrapping around the change. "I'll see you in the morning."

She almost offers him a handshake before deciding on a wave and turning back towards the house. Her mother is still cleaning and she steps up beside her, wiping a damp cloth over the table.

"So, you and Eret are friendly…"

"We're friends, mom." Astrid chews on the inside of her lip, sensing that this isn't the end of the conversation.

"And who's to blame for those black eyes?" She asks, poking her needle into the pincushion and setting the yarn back onto the shelves that Hiccup built. Astrid shrugs.

"We're sparring partners and friends."

"Now I know that Hiccup hasn't been around much lately, but I just want you to remember how you look at that boy before doing anything rash." It's the same tone that Gobber had a few days ago. The old 'I trust you but you're still a dumb kid' and Astrid scowls.

"Not everyone goes gaga over a pair of arms like you and Ruffnut. We're friends." She shakes her head and sets the rag back down on the table. "Actually, I invited him over for breakfast tomorrow."

"Dagny will be thrilled." Her mother nods slowly, weighing the development in her mind.

"I think I'm going to head to bed," she steps forward and gives her mom a rare hug. "Thanks."

"For what?"

For trusting her. For letting her choose her friends and not forcing her onto the best and the brightest like Spitelout. For leaving the door open. For letting Hiccup angry fix the house when he has time.

"Nothing."

00000

**And thus, Eret is officially, permanently smacked down. I don't know why it's so sad. But I'm sad. **


	16. Disliked

**Big Old Warning. I should have done this earlier, but I didn't expect this story to blow up. This is for me, I'm practicing working with an unreliable narrator, a single POV, and a shorter plot. I just wanted to post it to keep myself honest, I didn't expect so much flack and enthusiasm. **

**But seriously, I'm just having fun practicing here. **

00000

Astrid is just jumping off of Stormfly, planning to run home for an impossibly quick lunch break when someone tugs her aside by her elbow, pulling her behind the newly constructed wall. She's face to face with startling green eyes and softens immediately, reflexive fists unclenching. He looks more haggard than he did a few days ago and she impulsively pushes a lock of overgrown bangs out of his eyes before letting her hand rest on his shoulder.

"What's up?"

He laughs at the question and it only makes him look more tired as he drags her a few more steps away from the comparatively crowded site, glancing at the sun like he has somewhere else to be. He probably does and she's never been more tempted to kidnap someone.

"It's—" he glances at her face too quickly before looking down at her feet, his grip sliding down to her hand and giving her a brief taste of how clammy his skin is before he drops her entirely. "I never thought I'd have to ask you something like this, but—"

"What?" Her heart falls and all she can think is that she hasn't kissed him in three days.

"Not—Gods, don't look so scared," he kisses her forehead and she glares at him.

"I'm not scared."

"Fine, don't look like you've been hit by lightning when you haven't. It's a false alarm," he teases and she punches his arm and he grins briefly before falling back into that nervous mask. "Not anything bad, I promise, I just—" his hands land against her upper arms for a second before even that seems to make him uncomfortable and he steps away again.

"Hiccup—"

"I just don't quite exactly know—you see—"

"Babe, spit it out," the endearment feels dusty and unused on her tongue but it seems to calm him enough that he stops gesticulating towards nothing.

"Is there a particular place you to go find moss?"

Astrid cocks her head.

"Not quite following you."

"Is there some specific place that you and the other, erm, _women_," he mutters the word like it's something secret and important, "go to find _moss_?"

Astrid pauses for a moment, taking in his beet red cheeks and the way he can't quite maintain eye contact.

"I don't—" Everything clicks together with his increasingly frustrated grimace. "Oh! As in monthly—" He cuts her off with an embarrassed glare and painfully flushed cheeks. "Moss collecting. Right—"

"So any specific place or time or…"

"This wasn't really something that your father kept track of," she tries to comfort him, hoping this is some sort of misdirection from Spitelout that can be dismissed before Hiccup's puce cheeks become permanent.

This has come up between them before, when she was…collecting moss, and he always seemed ok if not entirely comfortable with the phenomenon. She wonders what Spitelout could have told him, and if Hiccup would really punish her to the full extent of Berk's laws if she did something about it.

"It's not a chief-type question," he rubs the back of his flushed red neck and glances up at her sheepishly. "My mom—I—she asked and—"

"Your mom?" Astrid cocks her head and frowns, remembering her own mother leaving all the windows open on purpose three winters ago and telling her about the end of the _mossy_ years. "Isn't she a little old?"

"I don't know!" Hiccup snaps, clutching his head and scuffing his metal foot on the dirt. "How would I know that? I—can you just tell me where?" He looks at her plaintively, somewhere between angry and mortified that she hasn't seen since before dragon training was even on the horizon.

"Hey, I'm sorry," she steps forward and takes his hand, squeezing gently until he looks at her. "Do you want my help with this?"

He deflates almost entirely, slumping to rest his forehead on her shoulder, temple clammy and tight against her neck to avoid her armor.

"Yes."

Her internal cheer is a little too loud.

"Ok, I just need chiefly permission to beg off of work for the afternoon," she strokes the back of his hair carefully, giving a gentle tug on the tighter of his two small braids. He nods and rests a limp hand on her waist, sighing into the fur lining of her hood. "Let me just go let Eret know he's leading the crew this afternoon and I'll go take care of it—"

"I'll tell Eret," Hiccup jerks his head up a little too quickly and Astrid glances around to see if anyone is watching. Leaning on her like this wouldn't look too great to some people and she steps away, even though it physically pains her to do so.

"Ok, I'll head over right now then." He squeezes her waist one last time and kisses her cheek, a little less tired than he was a minute ago. She wishes he'd just asked for her help in the first place.

00000

Astrid knocks on the door of the Haddock lodge, a little more nervous than she probably should be as Stormfly picks at the end of her braid, nudging a scaly cheek kindly against her shoulder. Even though introductions happened, Astrid really hasn't spent much time with Valka. The village was so busy and the woman has been pretty much attached to Hiccup's hip or gone with Cloudjumper, and well…this is suddenly both nerve-wracking and _long_ overdue.

Something bumps and squeaks inside, muted noise elevating to a barely restrained uproar, and Stormfly wraps her head around Astrid's chest, tugging her away from the door a bit. Astrid pats the dragon's cheek and dodges her grip, stepping up to knock a bit louder. The sound inside amps up further and she recognizes a few clear squawks and claws scraping across wood. Maybe Valka went off to find it on her own, and that's almost a happy thought, because this is an admittedly strange situation for bonding.

She decides to try one more time, and if nothing comes of it, go collect some moss and slip it through Hiccup's window.

She brushes off Stormfly's oddly protective head one more time and genuinely pounds on the door, nearly turning to leave before the door swings open and a small purple terror with its wing wrapped in linen charges through and rams into Astrid's leg.

"Can you grab him?" Valka steps out and shuts the door behind her, ignoring urgent scratching still coming from the house. Astrid barely grabs the terror by the ruff of its scaly neck and scoops it up, holding the tiny dragon a bit more conventionally in her arms. It's too small to be full grown and it squirms, squeaking indignantly when it's bandaged wing knocks against her arm. "Oh, here, I'll take him. He's the feistiest of the bunch," Valka scoops the tiny dragon back into her arms and strokes gently along its head, and it calms down almost instantly, trilling low in its throat like a scaly kitten. "You didn't have to knock so hard, Astrid, they thought the house was coming down on them."

"They?" Astrid glances back towards the house, muffled squeaks and clicks still reverberating through the door.

"When the dragons evacuated the nest, these little babies were left behind. I found them huddled up in their little hutch, scared and hungry," she rocks the dragon like an infant and its pink tongue lolls out if its mouth. It croons happily. "Broken wings on half of them, they must have tried to fly after their mother and fallen."

"And they're all staying with you?" Astrid reaches out to stroke the dragon's head but Valka steps away and her hand hangs awkwardly between them for a moment before Stormfly shoves her head under it, jealous.

"_Normally_, it's quiet," Valka gives her a sharp look and her eyes widen.

"I didn't mean to knock so hard, I just thought you hadn't heard—"

"Oh, it's…fine, I just wasn't expecting anybody." The woman looks around as if confirming that Astrid is alone before holding a hand towards Stormfly. The Nadder sniffs it and the spines on her tail ripple, her posture going a bit stiff. Astrid pats her shoulder and looks over at her, concerned. "Is there something that you needed?"

"Oh," Astrid nudges Stormfly back slightly and the Nadder's spikes click again, warning against something absolutely invisible. "Hiccup sent me, actually, he said you needed to uh…find moss?" Of course she learned proper Viking manners as a girl, always slam the door to announce your presence, fight fair and square for the last ale in the keg, but no one ever taught her what to do in this particular situation. She can't imagine how Hiccup felt.

"He didn't have to send you."

"I offered," Astrid grins, glaring at Stormfly as the Nadder shifts from foot to foot, nearly knocking her over with an antsy shoulder. "I'm assuming you went over to the Eastern edge of the village and found Earwax's house."

"Oh, that's Earwax," Valka muses quietly to herself, cradling the now drowsy terror closer to her chest. "Earwax Sigurdson, he used to be quite the master Gronckle-killer."

Astrid laughs, because that has to be a joke, and Valka looks at her strangely. The laugh dies in her throat and she coughs.

"He rides a nightmare now, Flamesnout."

The two women stare at each other for a moment and Stormfly trills urgently, eyes falling shut with the sincerity of the sound.

"Your Nadder seems agitated," Valka steps forward and hands off the terror so quickly that Astrid has to scramble a bit to hold its injured wing away from her body. It starts squirming again almost immediately, and she tries to mimic Valka's technique, stroking its head until it calms. "Hey…hey hey, it's alright girl."

Stormfly doesn't seem to like the attention, puffing nervously on Valka's hand before allowing it to touch her beak. She shifts between clawed feet again, leaning closer to Astrid.

"She's not normally like this," Astrid chews on the inside of her cheek, because this is already going horribly and she needs to _explain_ why somehow. "She'll practically knock most people over for attention. She loves Eret—"

Valka's sidelong irritated glance is so close to Hiccup's that Astrid swallows the rest of her words, suddenly too familiar with the stony set of the woman's lips. It's Hiccup in the forge, too busy to talk, frustrated and blaming her for the hammer he just dropped on his hand.

"Nadders are _unique_ dragons. For being so beautiful they're rarely very smart," Valka pats Stormfly's cheek and scratches underneath it in a way that makes the Nadder's foot twitch. Stormfly seems upset and steps away as soon as the scratching stops, nudging the tip of her beak against Astrid's shoulder.

"Stormfly is very smart," Astrid's fists clench against the tiny terror's sides and the dragon spits a shower of sparks onto her arm. The pain brings her back to the moment and she kicks herself, trying again. "She is. She's the best tracker on the island." The Nadder croons in assent, adjusting Astrid's hood against her back.

"Oh, I didn't mean anything by it," something in Valka's tone is too familiar, like she walked in on one of Hiccup's jokes that he knows she wouldn't like.

"Sorry," Astrid's smile feels fake and she forces an easy laugh, squeezing the terror to keep it still. "So, moss?"

00000

Astrid is in an unabashedly sour mood early that evening, stalking to the base of the statue, swearing under her breath with Stormfly trotting at her heels. Hiccup smiles when he sees her, eyes nervously hopeful before she's even in earshot.

'_I don't understand why you're still carrying a weapon.'_

No one has _ever_ looked at her axe like that, like it was going to jump and bit, like it wasn't in good hands.

"How'd it go?" He greets Stormfly as Toothless begs for a pat, pressing his snout against Astrid's unusually listless hand.

"The situation is handled."

"Not…_great_ then?" He winces and scratches the back of his neck. "I realized it might not go well after you left, I should have come and said something or—"

"Why didn't you think it would go well?" She's partially thrilled that he gave her a _difficult _task, even though she's disappointed that he obviously didn't trust her with it.

"I forgot that I told her about our fight," he laughs, apologetic hand landing carefully on her bare upper arm. "She was asking how thing were going and I didn't want to talk about this horrible meeting I just had with Spitelout, and I told her we were fighting and she asked why and—"

"And you told her."

"Yeah," he nods, wary.

"No, it's…my afternoon makes a little more sense," she laughs even though it's not funny.

'_So you've been getting along with that dragon trapper.'_

"That bad?" He grimaces and rubs her arm with his thumb.

"What did she say when you told her?"

His jaw flexes and he lets go of her arm, wiping his palms on his sides.

"Nothing—I wasn't a fan of her advice. So I talked to Gobber and he set me straight." He shrugs, "Gobber was right."

"What did your mom say?" This is what it's like for the Gossip to be _bad_. This is worse than the Snoggletog when all the eggs exploded, there's no misguided intention behind this mistake. "Come on, you have to tell me, I—"

"Not right now."

"It's that bad?" She pushes her bangs behind her ear and frowns, expression tugging at the last dregs of her bruise. "Your mom doesn't like me."

"That's _sort of_ extreme." He tries to comfort her and she shrugs it off, "she just doesn't know you. She'll love you."

"She will," Astrid swallows and nods. "I'll make her love me."

00000

**I really like this one. I won't even lie. I like this one a lot. From awkward Hiccup to mama-bear (socially awkward) Valka, to Astrid's newfound determination. Yes. I like this one. **

**And I promise to get to reviews. I've just been putting more time into actually cranking these things out. Sorry for the late notice, as well, I thought I could get another chapter out but I couldn't, I'm going to be out of town for the next week, but you can expect the rest when I get back. Thanks!**


	17. Adopted

00000

"Hey, Eret—umph! I can't really talk right now," Astrid grits her teeth as the little purple terror chomps down on her toes. After their lesson concluded, she gave up on controlling the dragons in favor of controlling the children and everything fell apart entirely.

"Do you need some help?" He offers, that smug and superior dragon trapper grin slapped on his face.

Astrid jerks her foot away from the terror and the little dragon concerns itself with a mouthful of fur. "I don't _need_ any help, but if you wanted to take Dagny's axe before she hurts someone again, that'd be great."

"Eret!" The little girl appears seemingly out of nowhere and hugs the man's leg, dropping her wooden weapon on the ground entirely.

"That was easy."

Astrid rolls her eyes at the gloat and steps back to dodge a terror charging across the arena in front of her. "What's up? These kids' parents should be here any minute and Hiccup is coming to get the dragons, then I'll have time to talk."

The purple terror bites her boot again and she nearly snarls, nudging it away with her opposite foot. Eret ruffles Dagny's hair and leans down to pinch the back of the dragon's neck and it falls flat, snoring happily. Astrid raises her eyebrows.

"Old dragon trapping trick. Why are you trying to train six year olds and baby dragons at the same time? I knew you were crazy, but this is actual Ruffnut level insanity."

"It's Ruffnut's fault," Astrid laughs and stares at the arena of crazy children, wound up from being restrained by the lesson for a couple of hours, chasing equally crazy tiny dragons sporting a variety of bandages and ailments. "Hiccup sent her and Tuff to get terrors, they brought back half a dozen wild nightmares and I got stuck with the litter of little psychos that Hiccup's mom has been taking care of."

It's funny in a completely insane way. She's in over her head, just like Hiccup was afraid of, standing here proving that maybe she can't be trusted. She hopes Hiccup had better luck with the nightmares than she had on her end, but she doubts it, given his singed hair and manic grin that morning, dropping off a flock of the last baby dragons she wanted to see.

"I like him," Dagny announces, stepping away from Eret to point at the little purple _asshole_ who's still snoring into the dirt.

"Of course you do." Astrid shakes her head, staving off the problem for later. "What did you need to talk about?" Astrid turns her attention back to Eret and nudges the sleeping terror with her toe into a position that _looks_ more comfortable.

"I don't need to talk about anything."

"Look at your face, what's going on?"

"I was just talking to your dad," he looks at his big feet, and he's more overgrown boy and less dragon trapper for a moment. Dagny senses it and pretends to chop off his foot with her axe. "About the future of his fishing boats."

"Be careful with that," Astrid cautions, shooting Dagny a look for the little girl to leave and let them talk. She runs off after a young boy and challenges him into a duel that's over before Astrid can look back to Eret. "I wasn't kidding about the—"

"Adoption."

"What?"

"You weren't kidding about the adoption."

"Wait, they're actually trying to adopt you?"

"Assuming we're speaking the same Norse."

"So you're running for the hills," her laugh is a bit panicked, because the thought of lonely Skullcrusher and…_Dagny_ cuts deep. "You're an ass, you know that? Making my sister like you this much and then leaving. And don't get me started on Skullcrusher—"

"I'm thinking about taking him up on it. Actually, I've essentially decided, I just wanted your…opinion."

"My opinion on my parents adopting you?"

He nods like it's obvious, but it still seems to her like something requiring explanation.

"What do you think?"

"Are you sure?" She laughs, "my parents adopting you. What about the whole 'son of Eret' clause? That's—I can't wrap my head around this."

"Eret _Hofferson_, son of Eret, sort of rolls off the tongue if I say so myself—What?"

Astrid laughs, unapologetically snorting as Eret's face straightens indignantly.

"That's a mouthful."

"I'm being serious here," he glares at her, and Dagny seems to sense the serious shift from across the arena, quickly shoving her new dueling partner to the ground and glancing her sister's way. "Your whole family, you especially—And Skullcrusher and—I'm trying to make Berk my home, and I've never really had one before, but they always seem to include family."

She stops laughing.

"I guess this means you get my bedroom, big brother," Astrid grins and steps up to hug him, because the kids aren't looking anyway and suddenly this feels right because it's _family_. And everything she's been feeling since that kiss and that final shove off makes sense because friends didn't cover it and anything more than friends was wrong and impossible. Family feels right. It's a decision, it's not _happening_, she's making something happen, moving something along.

"It is crazy in here!" Hiccup's voice breaks through the hug before stopping short and Astrid spins out of it, leaving one arm looped around Eret's neck. Hiccup frowns at her, more confused than angry and she laughs.

"Guess what?"

"Eret saved you from the terrifying terror?" Hiccup guesses, staring at the groggy terror lifting its head on the ground by their feet.

"My parents are adopting him."

"What?" Hiccup looks between them, confused. "He's not exactly an orphaned child, last time I checked."

"Well, it's—my parents don't have a son," Astrid flushes and fidgets forward slightly, because something about her reasoning seems like a constraint. "And they have boats and need someone to take them over someday.d assuming Dagny and I both get _married_ into families with their own lines of work no one will be around to take over the fishing boats." There's too much unsaid and hovering above the statement, her eventual marriage, _Dagny_'_s _eventual marriage, her father retiring or…

She waits for Hiccup to get it, to catch on like he always used to. He doesn't disappoint.

"Your parents are looking for an _heir_?" It's not quite the right word but Eret puffs up slightly anyway. Astrid scoffs at him.

"They're looking for a son."

"This is oddly convenient." Hiccup takes in the situation for a second, narrowed eyes looking so much like his father. Too shrewd to really be _Hiccup_. "And your parents are getting me the documents?"

"I'm sure they are."

"So he's going to be your brother? In all of the brotherly ways like living with you and…but he's going to be your brother. This…" He strokes his chin. "Brother. I like that."

"Are you here to get the dragons?"

"Yeah, just…congratulations Eret. You're lucky to be a future Hofferson," and Hiccup looks so utterly genuine shaking the man's hand that something else clicks into place, jealousy disbanded at least for the moment.

"I am." Eret agrees and Dagny runs over, pausing a few feet away from Astrid as if she just noticed Hiccup standing there. "I couldn't have hoped for a better reception."

"No, you really couldn't have. How's Skullcrusher?"

Astrid's smile falters.

"Skullcrusher is fantastic."

An errant terror spews fire into the sky and the children squeal delightedly.

"Can you take the dragons, please?" She tries honey instead of fire and Hiccup grins at her, obviously hovering someplace past thrilled.

Hiccup turns away from Astrid towards Dagny, slipping into that lopsided smile and squatting down on his heel.

"Of course, but before I go back to work, can I get a hug?" He asks, holding his arms out towards the little girl, who's swinging her axe surprisingly deftly in her still chubby hand. "Come on, I haven't seen you in forever, Dagny."

The little girl slides sideways halfway behind Eret and grabs his hand, hiding her face behind his arm.

Hiccup's eye twitches.

"Dagny, you don't want to talk to Hiccup?" Astrid asks, frowning at Hiccup and walking over to her sister, mussing the little girl's hair and frowning when she hides further behind Eret, tucking her face into his fur vest. Astrid doesn't ever remember seeing the girl quite so shy.

"He can't have a hug?" Eret looks at Astrid concerned before picking the little girl up and holding her on his arm at eye level. She laughs and buries her face in his shoulder before peeking out at Hiccup. "Oh, but I can?" She whispers something in his ear and he shakes his head towards Astrid.

"She's not—"

"No," Hiccup stands up and shakes his head like he doesn't care, but his eyes flick back and forth between Eret and Dagny, alternately irritated and confused. "I get it. She's shy and I haven't—I haven't been around much lately. I'll see you soon Astrid," a little wave, "Dagny." An absolutely seething glare so different from the happiness of a few months ago, "Eret."

"What are your plans for tonight?" Astrid asks him, looking sidelong at Eret and communicating silently. Eret can take Dagny home, Eret can handle the dispersion of the rest of the kids. Eret doesn't necessarily want to, but will deal with explaining to Astrid's parents that she had to go with Hiccup and will probably be missing dinner.

Hiccup snorts under his breath and runs his hands through his hair, wincing when Dagny half hides her face in Eret's shoulder.

"Mom's waiting for me," he laughs and Astrid glances at Eret again, nodding in wordless agreement. Hiccup sounds unhinged and Astrid should go. Even if Eret really, _really_ doesn't want to relay the information to Astrid's mother, because she's making yak stew tonight and dammit, that really is Astrid's favorite.

"Why don't I come?" Astrid offers, stepping up to the distraught young chief and sliding an almost cautious arm through his and swallowing an out of place smile when he leans into the contact. "I've got unfinished business anyway."

"Maybe tonight isn't the best night for that," Hiccup quirks his lip and shakes his head slightly. "She's cooking, it's—"

"And I can help, alright?" Astrid tightens her arm through his and shoots Eret one last look. Ask Dagny why she's shy and report back. Good luck with the kids.

"Right, and this isn't entirely a vehicle for your stubbornness. My mom just needs time, Astrid." Hiccup rolls his eyes, allowing her to drag him away by his elbow with Toothless following at their heels and leaving a confused Stormfly behind to fuss over Dagny.

"Time and a shove." She insists, shifting to loop her arm around his back and demonstrate. Because maybe all of those _family_ issues can fall in line today.

00000

Astrid laughs and peeks over her shoulder towards the open back door, half-heartedly shoving Hiccup off with her hip. His hand stops flirting with the spikes on the back of her skirt and lands against the small of her back, thumbing the skulls around her belt. "I'm trying to make your mom like me and I'm not sure this is going to help."

"You're failing miserably," he laughs, resting his chin on her shoulder and grinning too wide as she runs her dagger down a salmon's flank, pulling a neat filet from the fish's spine and nudging the eager purple terror away with her knee. "I'm going to get to eat more of this than the dragons." She stomps on his foot and he lets go with a glare. "What? I'm hungry."

"Hiccup," she hisses at him, turning diligently back to the fish as Valka walks back in with an empty bucket.

"They're hungry today, Astrid. Those kids must have put them through their paces," Valka looks at the pair of them strangely, standing together in front of the tall wooden chopping block and Astrid doesn't have a chance to step away before Hiccup is oh so innocently smiling as his hand flirts with the back of her thigh through her leggings. She jolts and Valka frowns at her.

"They really did. The dragons did great though, considering they're only half grown." Astrid bumps Hiccup away with her hip and hands his mother a wooden plank filled with neatly trimmed salmon filets. "And these are ready for the fire."

"You've removed all the pin bones," Valka comments idly and Hiccup walks up behind Astrid, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"All in one move, she learned it from dad."

Astrid remembers that afternoon, it was raining outside and miserable, and she thought she'd go insane with Hiccup's metal foot tapping frantically against the hearth and keeping Toothless grumpily awake in front of the fire. Stoick was just fiddling with his knife really, but there was something beautiful about the long sharp blade in the man's handy fingers, something truly _artistic_ in the way that he shaved scales from the flank of the fish and dumped it in Toothless's designated treat bowl. By the end of the afternoon, Toothless's stomach was happily full of a dozen butchered fish and a few more perfectly disassembled ones.

Valka smiles, and Astrid wonders if she has similar memories. Stoick and a knife and a quiet evening. Of course the chief couldn't cook worth a damn, but he could definitely take apart a halibut with the best of them.

"I'll go put them on the fire," the woman nods curtly, carrying the fish out of the back door. She insisted on cooking outside, something about it seemed familiar and preferable and Astrid wasn't one to refute it. After an initially awkward assurance that the _Viking_ children were fine with the Vikings, the conversation has been pleasant.

"See? It's fine. She doesn't hate you," Hiccup mumbles into Astrid's ear as soon as they're alone, resuming fiddling with the back of her skirt.

"Can you stop doing that? Your mom is fifteen feet away."

"I don't care."

"Hiccup."

"Astrid!," he sing songs in her ear, tickling her inner thigh under her skirt as his other arm wraps around her waist.

"Seriously!," bBut a laugh slips out through her stern complaint and Hiccup buries his nose in her hair, kissing behind her ear. "Hey, come on, how would you like it?" She's snickering as her arm reaches back around him and grabs a handful of his butt through thin leather.

He yelps.

Valka appears in the doorway, ambient smile fading back into a scowl.

"Maybe Astrid should tend the fish."

00000

**So can we all officially agree that Erestrid is about a dozen feet under? Please? Because this has been the intent from the beginning. Because I don't even care, Big Brother Eret tickles me.**


End file.
